New leather group forms. Is there a well-mannered submissive lurking inside that’s begging to emerge?
It’s not easy keeping up with the rules of SM. The line between old guard and new guard can be fuzzy. For example: “Master” and “slave” titles that were popular in the ’70s have practically been abolished and replaced with descriptors like “Daddy,” “Sir,” “boy” and even “slut.” And when playing in bondage and pain-threshold scenes, there’s nothing worse than some inexperienced klutz botching the golden rule with bad surprises.
Someone who’s reinforcing leather etiquette and helping clear up any confusion is North Texas native David Downing. He’s a co-founder of DFW leatherboys, a new educational group for biological males. Downing, who’s in his mid 30s, is relatively new to the boy scene. Fond of leatherwear, Downing only started to identify as a boy last September after he realized he had what it takes and asked a Daddy to guide him.
Downing admits that figuring out the role of a “good quality boy” can be a complex discovery. For example: Most Daddies and boys are usually not romantically involved. And to become a boy, you have to earn your “collar.” Also, boys can have “little brothers.” And women or “girls” sometimes adopt boy titles, but Downing says women often use the “boi” spelling.
There’s a rich history to the BDSM code most of the strict disciplinary codes hail from military traditions. And along with planning workshops, history lessons and social functions, DFW leatherboys are currently recruiting and screening pledges. Since Downing is a latecomer to the boy scene, his cohorts helped him prepare a list of questions to see if newbies have the makings of a good boy who’s just waiting to be selflessly committed to a quality daddy.
You might be a boy if
1) You get pleasure out of making others happier or making their life easier.
2) You find yourself frequently standing with your hands behind your back.
3) You are happiest when you are doing something.
4) You prefer to follow another’s lead.
5) You like structure, organization or anything else “anal retentive.”
6) Someone else’s smile can make your whole day.
7) You prefer to let someone else make decisions and then you implement the result.
8) You have a desire to be something more without the intent of standing out.
9) Doing things for others without the expectation of anything in return.
10) You live by honor, integrity, trust, respect, love and good manners.
If you’ve answered yes to at least five of the above questions, you might be a boy. To find out more, DFW leatherboys will meet to screen recruits at Leather Masters, 3000 Main St. in Deep Ellum. July 14 at 3 p.m. For information, visit DFWLeatherboys.org
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 13, 2007