Trash-talking never sounded funnier than at Griffin's recent Dallas gig

OH, NO SHE DIDN’T: Kathy Griffin ridiculed Scientology, Al Reynolds and Oprah at the Meyerson on Monday.

Those Bravo stand-up concerts do her no justice. At least that was the impression after Kathy Griffin's sold-out gig at the Meyerson Symphony Center on Monday.

"What a gorgeous theater to be talking shit about so many people," she joked.

For two sidesplitting hours, Griffin dissed and dished about anything and everything remotely connected to Hollywood. Her seemingly off-the-cuff delivery is the sign of a natural born comedian. She really makes it look effortless.

Griffin's first item on the menu was aimed at a local restaurant: the Uncle Julio's on Oak Lawn Avenue. She didn't like their Tex-Mex fare.

"You got to be kidding me about that queso. It was cheesed-up Velveeta," she insisted.

Then she quickly sunk her teeth into Britney Spears' recent interview with Matt Lauer on "The Today Show."

"There's Britney with her extensions all fucked up and wearing cutoffs," Griffin said. "It looked like Kevin Federline gave it to her the night before and was pulling her hair."

This part she gladly acted out. Whether Griffin was imitating an addled Paula Abdul or Anna Nicole Smith, her physical impersonations definitely punch up her act.

"It's a countdown until Rosie joins "'The View," Griffin announced.

She pointed out how Star Jones is supposed to be a Democrat but is against gay marriage.

"According to Star, "'the Bible says marriage is between a man and a woman.' Or between a woman and a gay man," Griffin added, referencing the rumors about Jones' husband, Al Reynolds . "Oh, please. Al is so gay, when he walks by you can hear the snapping."

Griffin reminded the audience how, in October, Reynolds was arrested at 3 a.m. on a Wednesday night for driving with a suspended license after making an improper lane change.

"Busted at 2:30 a.m.? Where was Al coming from?" Griffin asked. "He was at Clay Aiken's house."

After weaving through anecdotes about Regis Philbin, Philbin's producer, Michael Gelman, and Katie Couric's icy persona, Griffin got to right-wing harridan Ann Coulter.

"She's like the conservatives' idea of porn. You can see Cheney beating off to her," Griffin said, while squatting and making appropriate hand gestures.
She's pretty brave especially when she ventured into discussing "that fucked-up cult, Scientology."

Griffin's fearless. That's because, "I am lawyered up. I have a coterie of attorneys," she said.

Apparently her free speech attorney is Alan Isaacman, the lawyer who, in 1988, successfully defended Larry Flynt before the United States Supreme Court in a case about a satire of Jerry Falwell.

In her last Bravo comedy concert, "Strong Black Woman," Griffin failed to touch on the scandal regarding "American Idol" contestant Clay Aiken. According to former Green Beret John Paulus, Aiken and Paulus hooked up in January. And Paulus says he has the DNA-stained "washcloth" to prove it.

At her Dallas gig, Griffin didn't miss a beat: "Clay is 24. He's touring, and he loves cock. I say, "'Have at it.' That's what your 20s are for."

Griffin spent at least a half-hour recounting the recent "American Idol" finale, where "Gayken" surprised geeky look-alike Michael Sendecki as they sang a duet of "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me," Griffin said.

"The!" she clarified. "'The Sun Go Down on Me.' What better way to assert your sexuality than sing the George Michael, Elton John song?"

Before it was all said and done, Griffin crucified Rush Limbaugh, Lou Dobbs, Oprah, James Fry and Bill O'Reilly. And somehow her "ridicule the ridiculous" brand of humor never comes off too mean or nasty.



This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition, June 30, 2006.