Music video royal sits in director’s chair and bores us with dreary story

Andrly (Hutz) forces married businessmen to lick his boots

Starring in brilliant music videos doesn’t automatically transfer to talented acting. Madonna knows this lesson all too well. With “Filth and Wisdom,” Madonna hops in the director’s chair for the first time. After the film’s many painful stretches of boredom, you wonder if the supposed control freak had any say in the editing room.

Madonna also co-wrote the screenplay — about three young struggling roommates in London (all three seem loosely based on Madge herself). Andrly (Eugene Hutz) is an Slavic immigrant who funds his Gypsy punk aspirations by turning S/M tricks; Holly (Holly Weston) is an out-of-work ballerina who learns how to become a pole stripper; Juliette (Vicy McClure) works at a pharmacy but wants to heal the starving and AIDS-afflicted youth of Africa.

Underneath their apartment is Professor Flynn (Richard E. Grant), a once-successful poet who’s now blind.

If all of them could only grasp that brass ring … But you’ve got to go through hell before you go to heaven.

Madonna captures dreary London — in the worst way possible. Even Andrly’s S/M scenes are bland when they’re trying to be comedic. However, watching Holly enter the titty-dancer trade is fun — splice Madonna’s own “Erotica” into the soundtrack — especially when Holly busts out the choreography to Britney Spears’ “Baby One More Time.”

In the “director’s statement,” Madonna says that “Filth and Wisdom” was supposed to be a short film, but her admiration for the art of filmmaking and storytelling allowed her to explore her own ambitions. “Filth and Wisdom” is so dull, y’all should be very surprised if Madonna gives herself a second chance at directing.a

	Filth and Wisdom
C-	Director: Madonna Cast: Richard E. Grant, Eugene Hutz, Vicky Mclure, Holly Weston Opens Oct. 24 at the Angelika Mockingbird. 1 hr. 24 min. Not rated.

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STILLMAN’S GEM

The first hour of “Wrangler: Anatomy of an Icon” (TLA, $20) is a by-the-numbers biography about one of the leading stars of ’70s porn. Aficionados may be disappointed at the lack of hardcore footage: You’ll have to check out the original films to see what made Jack Wrangler, pictured, famous. The story incorporates social history — about growing up in the repressed ‘50s and coming out in the late ‘60s; and the burgeoning of gay porn from physique magazines to 8 mm. “loops” to feature films shown in theaters to videos.

Jack Stillman was born in Beverly Hills in 1946, the son of a Hollywood producer. Small in stature, he couldn’t be the jock his father wanted. And appearances in TV shows with his Sunday school teacher, the legendary Eleanor Powell, got Jack hooked on performing.

Attracted to masculine men, Jack feared any traces of effeminacy in himself. A highlight of his early career was a failed audition for “The Christine Jorgensen Story,” where he was told he’d never play a woman. Working as a stripper in West Hollywood, Jack took the name Wrangler from his work shirt. He continued wearing flannel shirts and tight jeans when he made the transition to film, giving gay men a macho image to relate to in films starting with Joe Gage’s “Kansas City Trucking Co.”

Despite his ultra-masculine image, Wrangler was versatile in gay porn. He took that versatility a giant step further when he started appearing in straight porn.

But “Wrangler” takes a sharp turn to become an unusual true love story. At a New York restaurant, porn star Jack Wrangler meets legendary singer Margaret Whiting, 20 years his senior. And they’ve been together ever since!

The film goes into some detail about external pressures — especially Jack’s clash with Margaret’s daughter, Debbi, who was horrified.

Jack, who had only recently started having sex with women, suddenly had to make love to a woman who could be his mother. That wasn’t as difficult for him as giving up sex with men, which she demanded if they were to be together.

“Wrangler: Anatomy of an Icon” isn’t what you’d expect from the biography of a gay porn star. It’s better.

Grade:

B