Best in Cho

Margaret Cho’s show was North Texas’ gayest event last night. Her “Beautiful” tour stopped at Nokia in Grand Prairie.
Here are some tidbits:
She talked about filming her upcoming reality show, “Where my mom and I will be doing some ignunt shit.” One episode will be about anal bleaching and having a white anus: “How did it get dark down there? Because that’s where the sun don’t shine?”
On Britney Spears: “Handcuffed to a gurney — oh, girl. I’ve been there … The Zen of partying is to stick to one drug at a time … Like marijuana? I don’t even consider it a drug. To me, it’s a vegetable.”
On Paris Hilton: “In the future, we’ll be able to understand her. Paris is like a crop circle.”
On crotch shots and the downfall of celebrities: “Don’t let the paparazzi take pictures of your pussy. It steals the pussy’s soul.”
On “Project Runway”: “Whenever I see Michael Kors, my asshole just slams shut — Clang! — not that it’s open all the time. It’s just that Michael Kors is so critical. And he uses so much self-tanner — he’s like a bitchy tangerine.”
Comparing former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey to Rick Perry. “Why did [McGreevey] have to resign? Because a gay man can’t be a governor? Do you guys still have that gay governor here in Texas? Governor Richard Perry? He’s such a fag — with his boyfriend and that haircut.”
On “Miss Larry Craig” “His stance was so wide, he was giving us ballet second position.” “But he won’t come out. He’s like a sorry old queen without a piano bar.”
On John McCain: “He’s such an old bitch — he don’t make jizz. He makes glue.”
On Internet hunting: “Nothing is sadder than cruising for dick on Craigslist. It’s like the PennySaver.”