Two Chryslers go head-to-head with vastly different profiles. Is your magic number 200 (the Sebring relaunch) or 300?
CASEY WILLIAMS | Auto Reviewer
There are two sizes of four-door Chrysler civility: You can steer an unrecognizably face-lifted version of the Chrysler Sebring (now sold as the 200), or go full-HEMI and get the badass butch 300. Depending on your budget and fuel thirst — and whether you go for a feminine ride or a ’roid rager — you can choose the smaller car with an efficient four-cylinder engine or slay muscular giants with the 300 SRT8. Either way, you’ll have an elegant set of wheels that can take you and four friends to the club in high style. Here are some comparisons to help with your decision:
200: Ménage à Trois between Daimler, Chrysler and Mitsubishi.
300: Mercedes E-Class, generations of HEMIs
Claim to fame:
200: Driven by Eminem.
300: HEMI-powered grandpappy was a NASCAR champ.
Mad (wo)man alter ego:
200: Peggy Olson.
300: Don Draperr
Celebrity most likely to drive car:
200: Joan Rivers.
300: Cary Grant on ’roids.
Action movie identity:
200: Contact, with Jodie Foster.
300: Like you have to ask?
200: Clay Aiken, numero dos, but still delivers soft tones.
300: Ricky Martin, smooth muscles and a sexy beat (gets extra daddy points for his twin boys).
200: Very Old Barton — barrel aged for six years, smooth, not expensive.
300: Pappy Van Winkle — an American classic, aged endlessly in Kentucky for connoisseurs.
200: The Sunset Strip on a Saturday night.
300: Wide expanses of West Texas Interstate.
200: Birthed from the suave Alfa Romeo Giulietta.
300: Not fixin’ what’s workin’.
If cars could talk:
200: “Thank God Fiat saved my ass!”
300: “Fiat worships my ass!”
200: Yeah, let’s check out the culinary institute’s preview night.
300: Join us at Texas De Brazil — we’re goin’ Dutch!
200: 2, driven from the front.
300: 4, little monster shoves from the rear or with all four grabbing.
200: Leather and heated.
300: Leather, heated, and cooled. Did I mention a heated steering wheel?
200: Boston Acoustics audio, light pipes above headlamps.
300: Rear sunscreen controlled from touchscreen, 522 watts of Beats by Dr. Dre to rattle your sista’s closet.
200: Plastic plugs in the console.
300: Heated and cooled mini-climates to turn your beverage on.
200: 17-in. is big enough.
300: 20-in. for those who take more.
200: Has a 40GB hard drive for music files. Like, who in Hades stores music onboard a car?
300: Luxury editions have door coverings and consoles upholstered with Poltrona Frau Foligno. God save us if the Italians get hold of our underwear!
Best-effort MPG (city/hwy.):
200: 20/31 with 173hp Inline 4 — bitch, please!
300: 19/31 with 292hp V6 — power to spare and the endurance to win one for the green team. (Or, go balls out and get stupid drunk on the 300 SRT8’s 470hp 6.4-liter V8!)
200: $19,000 — young and stylish, wheels for the Target set.
300: $28,500 — affordable, yet thoroughly-resolved, right out of a Banana Republic outlet store.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition June 22, 2012.
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