Hey everybody. As many of you know, I have a small part in the sequel to Sordid Lives, A Very Sordid Wedding. I play Cassie Nova, a loud, rude drag queen. Huge stretch, I know. They had the premiere of the movie a few weeks ago in Palm Springs, complete with a red carpet. My husband and I decided to turn it into a vacation and spend the week in Palm Springs. It was awesome — I felt so young! Apparently, Palm Springs is a great place for the gays to retire. Why wouldn’t you want to retire there? Great restaurants, shopping and weather, all with a small-town feel. Did I mention how beautiful it is? I love seeing mountains and hills in the background of everywhere you looked. Hell, I have spent most of my life here and it ain’t nuthin’ but flat. So talk about a change of scenery.
The red carpet event was so much fun. I felt so fancy hobnobbing with Leslie Jordan, Caroline Rhea and one of my favorite people on the planet, Miss Dale Dickey. She was incredible in Winter’s Bone, and so freaking hilarious on My Name Is Earl as Patty the daytime hooker. She is so damn good as Sissy in Sordid Wedding. She slayed it.
I was giddy as the movie started. I have been a rabid Sordid Lives fan ever since I first saw it like 16 years ago. The crowd was so into it, they cheered as each character walked on screen. I can’t wait to see it again — I know I missed parts because I was laughing. There are even more great one-liners here than in the first one. In all seriousness, I can’t wait for everyone to see this film. If you liked the first one, you will love this one. The message the film delivers is so perfect in this time in our history. I can only imagine how many young people, struggling with faith and acceptance that this movie will help.
After the screening, they called the entire cast on stage for a Q&A. I fangirled out! Myself, Edna Jean Robinson and Ron Corning just kind of stood there hanging on their ever word. Del Shores has made a great movie. I feel lucky to have been a part of it. Y’all have gotta get your tickets to the Dallas premiere on April 21. It will be a star-studded event. I promise you will love it.
A superstar’s work is never done so now I must put away my pen from signing autographs and patting myself on the back and help some folks.
Dear Cassie, So I’m in a predicament. I’m in a relationship of over two years. There’s a guy I work with whose boyfriend I have fallen in love with. He has also fallen for me. We’re both in relationships and really want each other. I’m so torn on what to do. We don’t want our current parties to know or be jealous. We almost ran away together. He is far more attractive than who I’m currently with and I’m just so infatuated. Should I leave who I’m with, even if I don’t go with this guy, simply with how I feel? Or is it all just a little crush I should ignore? I’m so confused! Signed, Should I stay or should I go.
Look bitch, if you are teenager I get your confusion. But if you are a grown-ass man looking for someone to give you permission to cheat, you will not find it here. You kind of come off like a piece of shit ready to throw away a relationship with someone (I assume) you have loved at some point for a shiny newer model. If you are unhappy in your relationship, or if you truly love this new guy, there should be no confusion. Ask yourself these simple questions. Are you happy? Do you love your boyfriend? Is this guy’s dick worth hurting both of your boyfriends? I will give you props for at least asking someone’s opinion instead of just cheating first and worrying about the ramifications afterwards.
If you are not happy with your boyfriend — if you don’t love him enough not to cheat — move on. Respect him and respect yourself because I guarantee you: Karma is a cunt and she will do to you what you do to others. Good luck, Cassie.
Dear Cassie, I have lived in Dallas for over 20 years. Over the years, I have had more friends than I could even keep up with. For some reason, lately, friends seem to be in short supply. Admittedly, I have changed over the years — I no longer go out as much and maybe I’m even a bit more jaded when it comes to meeting new people. Because of a series of bad experiences, I often find myself questioning a potential new friend’s intentions. Someone told me once that I have too many gay friends, I didn’t know what to think about that. Could it be true? Most of my friends and acquaintances are gay. I am sure you are approached by many people who might like to become a bestie of Cassie. Perhaps their motives are authentic and often maybe not. How do you know when to let people in? If I only have gay friends, do I need to look outside of my gay circle? Signed, Looking for fulfilling friendships.
Dear L4FF, My husband and I were just talking about this very subject. I’ve noticed that with me there is an ebb and flow to some of the communications with some of my friends and a constant with others. It’s true that over the years, I have had plenty of people volunteer to be my best friend. I have people all the time tell me, “We are so much alike, we have the same sense of humor, we should hang out!” Sometimes, if the stars align, we become friends, but you can’t force a friendship. You can fake one, and Lord knows I have done that. But to make a true friend, to have someone in your life you can always count on is special and cannot be forced.
We have all had so-called friends that end up just using you for one reason or another and that can make you weary of trusting new people. If you fear a friend might be trying to take advantage of your generous nature, never put yourself in a position to be used. Don’t volunteer to pay for anything. If they can’t afford to pay their own way, tell them you can reschedule for when they can afford it. They are your friends, not your responsibility.
Many people’s friendships suffer when they get into a new relationship, so ask yourself, are you suddenly giving all of your time to your boyfriend and ignoring the friends that were there for you when you needed a friend? Friendships go both ways. You can’t get mad at someone for not being there for you if you never make yourself available.
If you are part of a couple, invite another couple over for a game night or dinner. Find reasons to hang out with people you want to remain close to. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having mostly gay friends. I don’t think you should worry about that at all. Be friends with whoever you connect with.
We hang out with mostly gay people because that is what we have in common, but it is the individual you connect with, not their sexuality.
I am very lucky that I have an awesome group of friends. My close friends are more like family. But like all relationships you have to work at it. Make time for your friends. To be honest that is something I could work on myself. But if you are lucky, you have friends you can’t wait to be around. I do; the hard part is finding time we can actually get together but it is always great when we find the time. Good luck and be the friend you want to have.
Remember to love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova.
If you have a question of comment, email it to AskCassieNova@gmail.com.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition March 31, 2017.