Cassie Nova

Posted on 21 Aug 2015 at 7:30am

Who has an awesome life?


You know what, my gaybies? My life is pretty awesome. I don’t say that in a flazeda Facebook post trying to convince the world and myself that my life is better than it actually is. I say it because all I have to bitch about are ridiculously petty things. You know the things in your life are not that bad when your biggest complaint of the day is the temperature in the pool is too tepid. Poor me. Or that we haven’t been able to enjoy the summer as much because we haven’t been able to go to the lake. Our boat has been out of commission due to the heavy rains a few months ago. The marina at Joe Pool Lake, where we keep our boat, has had a lot of damage. Yes, it is horrible that the boat has damage; yes, it is a pain in the ass to do an insurance claim. But if this is my biggest complaint, I am doing pretty good.

I do have a huge problem with worrying about shit I have no control over, instead of just enjoying things and living in the moment. I can never just stop and allow myself to enjoy the fruits of our labor. My husband and I have worked hard for everything we have, but I live in constant fear that if I enjoy myself too much or let myself be too happy for too long, it will all vanish. I have to make a conscious decision to stop and smell the roses and be present in the moment. It is just so hard to get out of your own head sometimes. I am my own worst enemy.

Even as I started to write this week’s column, I thought I would start with a woe is me, light hearted commentary on “My great life,” that has now got me in my head thinking … don’t write that, you will jinx it. If you come off as too happy then something horrible is gonna happen … don’t do it. I hate that about myself. When did I become the person who obsesses over the what ifs? Why isn’t there a switch in your brain you could flip that would just turn off all of the white noise and bullshit that you just can’t stop thinking about?

I know I am not alone in my over-active brain, bullying and tainting my thoughts. I have friends that suffer from this to varying degrees. I wish we could all just snap out of it and just genuinely be happy. Now I will use my stupid brain to help out others. Sheesh! Good luck to them.

Dear Cassie, You always have insightful things to say so I thought you might be able to help with this one. When you have family members that you love dearly, but seem to not have the ability to come around to the idea of homosexuality or transgender people, and post bigoted comments about it, what’s the best way to respond? I have tried to shower them with love anyways, and although they treat me well to my face, I feel it’s a different story when

I’m not around. It’s not in my nature to start turning my back on a couple of members of my family, but I’m not exactly sure what to do when some of them clearly have beliefs that are so hateful and condescending that I don’t want to speak to them. I have so many friends and family members that do support me, so I almost feel like why bother with the others? Kelly Clarkson’s song “Sober” sums it up best. “I picked all my weeds, but kept the flowers.” It’s just a little bit harder when the weeds are people you care about. Thanks, Tyson.

My dearest Tyson, This is a problem that so many of us have to deal with to one degree or another. There is nothing so heartbreaking as seeing someone you care about post something that goes against everything you are or believe in. And now with Facebook and social media we unfortunately get to see a person’s true feelings on many subjects. Religion, politics and especially gay rights can be such a hot topic when dealing with family, and unfortunately our different views can drive a wedge between us. Bigoted, small-minded comments coming from someone, especially a one-time close friend or family member drives me crazy and breaks my heart. It makes you feel like the time you spend with them is disingenuous, past and present. I love the idea of keeping the flowers and getting rid of the weeds. Kelly is always on point. Nurture the relationships of the people who love and support you … all of you. Life is too short to spend too much time pulling up weeds. In the words of our Miss Clarkson from the song “Second Wind,” You can hate me, underestimate me, do what you do cause what you do don’t phase me!

Their words and “views” still hurt. It’s hard not to take things personally, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. See what I did there? Kelly Clarkson is my oracle! Always stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

You might just be the ripple that causes a wave in their new way of thinking. Good luck and stay strong Tyson.

So last week I had an interaction with a lady in the Walmart parking lot I just have to share with y’all. OK, so I was headed to Subway to get the hubby and myself a sammich, and of course our closest Subway is located inside the Walmart. When I go to the devil chain box store, I always park in the row directly in front of the doors. No matter how far back I have to park. Well, on this afternoon I parked far away from the front doors. On my long journey from my car to the store, I notice this portly lady about to finish loading groceries into her car. I, being the well raised southern gentleman I am, was going to offer to take her shopping cart for her. It was very hot out and I was going that way. So as I got closer, I said, “Excuse me,” but before I could get another word out, she whipped around at me and said with arms raised in a stop motion, “Just back up! It is too early in the day for me to be getting hit on so just back up.”

I was wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap, which is my “I’m just a normal guy with full eyebrows” disguise; it must have worked. This bitch really thought I, James Love aka Cassie Nova the Supergay, was gonna hit on her. I laughed out loud and said, “Baby No! No. No.” I laughed again. I turned on my full gayness away from her and sashayed away. I served my most fishy catwalk walk all the way into the Walmart like I was on the runways of Milan. Bitch please! Ain’t nobody got time for that.

I know this week’s article has been all over the place and I appreciate you sticking with me. That is just how my mind works sometimes. Thank you all for the great feedback. Keep it coming.

Remember to love more, bitch less and be fabulous. XOXO, Cassie Nova.

If you have a question of comment, email it to

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition August 21, 2015.

Comments (powered by FaceBook)