You can love speed and metal and not have to be into automobiles — and you have a way to explore it this weekend.

The Progressive International Motorcycle Show rolls into the Dallas Convention Center this weekend, as part of a 13-city tour that features every imagineable form of two-wheelers: dirt bikes, sportsbikes, cruisers, scooters, ATVs and more. Activities include a stunt riding showcase, the chance to complete an actual pit stop and a custom motorbike competition that includes eye-popping chrome and paint jobs.

— Arnold Wayne Jones

Dallas Convention Center, 650 S. Griffin St.
Nov. 9–11. $15. Motorcycleshows.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition November 9, 2012.

ROCKIN’ DOWN THE HIGHWAY | Car enthusiast and professional master of ceremonies Paul. J. Williams is a long-standing member of Classic Chassis, and his 1971 Cadillac El Dorado convertible can attest to his bona fides. (Arnold Wayne Jones/Dallas Voice)

STEVEN LINDSEY  | Contributing Writer

The Golden Girls are back! Although the only way Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia will make appearances is if someone named four old automobiles after the iconic characters.

Nope, this weekend’s Golden Girls event marks a milestone 25th annual gathering of all Texas Chapters of the Classic Chassis Car Club, a predominantly LGBT organization that welcomes car lovers of all makes and models. (Straight, too.)

According to the club’s mission statement, the CCCC membership is comprised of those who know the smallest of styling details to gear-heads who perform their own restorations. Membership is open to all, even those who do not yet own a classic or special interest car. Their common bond is an interest and appreciation for autos that are special to the individual, no matter the reason.

“It’s a really cool way to meet people and network,” says Bryan Howell, vice president of the Dallas chapter — especially those who “share in a common love of cars.”

Even though the club has “classic” in its name, that term is loosely construed. Even what many people would consider new cars can have a place within the group.

“There’s a 2008 Pontiac coming to the show, but Pontiac doesn’t exist any more so it’s considered unique,” Howell says.

One weekend a year, CCCC groups gather in a Texas city to socialize and show off the latest additions to their collections. This year’s Golden Girls gathering is in Fort Worth, with events through Sunday, including plenty of opportunities for the classic car curious to learn more about the pastime that’s a casual hobby for some and an obsession for others.

For Howell, his love of all things automobile goes back a long way.

“My passion for cars goes back to when I was 20 months old. I remember going to the car dealership with my father and buying this new car. I was heartbroken to see our old car go. My dad got a brand new ’69 Pontiac Custom S Sport Coupe. We get out onto this little road outside the dealership and he punches it. It threw me into the back seat and I was immediately in love,” he recalls with a smile. “This year, in fact, I was able to buy the identical car in a convertible version. The car I first fell in love with I now have. It’s in the shop and I hope to have it ready for this weekend.”

Howell notes that even though he’s loved cars for a long time, it wasn’t until about 10 years ago that he could start to afford decent cars. But his passion falls somewhere between hobby and obsession.

“Nothing I have is show-quality, but you can get into any of my cars and drive to L.A. Others in the club, they have cars that are museum-worthy.”

Paul J. Williams, a long-standing car enthusiast and member of CCCC, gets to combine his gearhead status and quick-witted MCing duties as well — he’ll serve as this year’s banquet and awards ceremony host.

“We’re really excited. He’s going to lend a whole new air to the thing,” Howell says of Williams.

Williams himself says he enjoys Classic Chassis because its membership has a different attitude than other car clubs.

“Straight guys, by and large, buy muscle cars and show off the engines. Gay guys buy glamour cars and go all out on presentation, often utilizing hat boxes, mannequins and/or matching luggage!” Williams says.

Indeed, accessories are key to many aspects of the weekend, particularly the Road Rallye on Friday afternoon, where participating cars take a scenic drive to collect information and articles on a scavenger hunt in search of Miss Golden Girl 2012.

And in a regulation that’s most likely unique to clubs of this variety, at least one person in each car must be in drag.

The Rallye ends with a happy hour and catered BBQ dinner at Club Reflection that is open to the public, which makes it a great first chance to learn more about the club. The group will also assemble Saturday for Concours in the Park, a car show held at Trinity Park where people can interact with the car owners, possibly even go along for a ride.

Through this weekend and other events, the group hopes to attract a new generation of enthusiasts to keep the passion alive for decades to come, even though the average age skews toward members over 40 for the most part.

“We’re not a bunch of dirty old men,” Williams assures. “Unless you smell like an old car.”

Events include a happy hour at Club Reflections, 604 Jennings St., Fort Worth, Friday, 5–7 p.m., followed by a barbecue dinner, a car show at Trinity Park with lunch Saturday, 11 a.m.–2 p.m., and banquet/awards dinner at Esparanza’s, 2122 N. Main St., Fort Worth, Saturday, 6–9 p.m. For a complete list of activities, visit GoldenGirls2012.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition November 9, 2012.

]]> http://www.dallasvoice.com/driving-friend-10131341.html/feed 0 http://www.dallasvoice.com/defining-homes-fall-2012-10127640.html http://www.dallasvoice.com/defining-homes-fall-2012-10127640.html#comments Fri, 05 Oct 2012 05:30:31 +0000 Kevin Thomas http://www.dallasvoice.com/?p=127640 Click magazine cover to download issue PDF

A documentary detailing the importance of marriage rights and wills in the absence of them recently broke a fundraising record. BRIDEGROOM:

An American Love Story will chronicle Shane Bitney Crone and Tom Bridegroom’s six-year relationship and Bridegroom’s sudden death.

Crone was left to mourn without a will, no access to medical records and was unable to attend his partner’s funeral after Bridegroom’s family threatened violence if he attended. On the one-year anniversary of his death in May, Crone posted a YouTube video, It Could Happen to You, encouraging couples to take legal action to protect themselves.

Donations began on Kickstarter.com to create the documentary. In four weeks, $384,375 was raised to make the film, a record for the website, which has funded 7,400 films, according to the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. The film was expected to cost a minimum of $300,000, but the extra funds will go toward better music and wider release, GLAAD released on its website.

The film is scheduled to be complete in the fall. For more, visit TinyURL.com/7vojuzx.

— Anna Waugh

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 27, 2012.

ANNA WAUGH  |  Staff Writer

After losing her partner of more than two decades and surviving terminal cancer, one East Dallas woman is fighting to hold onto the life the couple built together.

Gina, who asked that her full name not be used because of pending legal action, lost her partner Michelle in 2009. Michelle suffered a rupture in her stomach that caused a massive bleed. She died in the couple’s bed.

The next morning, Michelle’s estranged mother was asking about the couple’s mortgage payments. Gina described Michelle’s relationship with her mother as “very strained,” with rare visits on holidays.

But the mother had every right to the house, which was refinanced in 2003. During the refinance, the home that Michelle and Gina purchased together in 1991 was put in Michelle’s name only — a decision made to protect Michelle after Gina was diagnosed with Stage 4 cervical cancer earlier that year.

Gina beat the odds and survived the cancer. But she found herself facing eviction in 2009 when her partner’s mother and brother came for their estate, because Michelle died suddenly without a will.

In the absence of a will, the estate would have passed to children, but the couple didn’t have any. Instead, it would be split between Michelle’s mother and son, who Gina said “came crawling out of the woodwork.”

Gina said civility during occasional visits with Michelle’s family only seemed to make the situation worse. During litigation, Michelle’s family members told Gina they missed and loved her but the property rightly should go to them.

“It’s pretty unbelievable to have people tell you how much they love you and miss you and still want to take your home and have you supposed to be OK with it,” she said. “Because they can, because it’s the law. That’s what was told to me.”

Three months after the funeral, Gina continued to mourn her partner of 23 years as she filed a lawsuit to try to fight the family’s claim on the home.

“I cannot explain what this felt like when you’re in the beginning of grief,” she said. “To have people asking you personal questions about your finances, looking at your things. You feel so violated.”

Gina’s attorney, John McCall, placed a lean on the home, so if Michelle’s family members tried to sell it, they’d have to reach a monetary agreement with Gina before the lean was removed. But Gina said she doesn’t want money, even after mediation last year failed and she’s back in probate court.

“I wanted my whole home. I feel like I’m entitled to my home. I spent 23 years with my partner. We bought the home together,” she said. “I put my home in my partner’s name at the encouragement of her mother to protect my partner from any possible thing that could happen with my family.”

The story took a twist in March when Michelle’s mother died. Gina, who said Michelle’s relationship with her brother was even more strained, thought he would walk away from the legal battle. But he didn’t.

McCall said the brother recently offered to drop the lawsuit if he could collect family heirlooms and have his legal fees covered.

McCall said he hopes the brother, who lives in Houston and is emotionally and physically removed from Gina’s grief, will see the life Gina and Michelle made together amid pictures and memories in the house and continue with his decision.

“For the brother, this is all business and it’s very distant because he obviously hasn’t seen his sister in years,” McCall said. “I think once he’s in that setting, it becomes much more emotional, much more personal and hopefully much more painful for him, and he’ll understand the pain of my client.”

The best option, McCall said, would have been for Michelle to name Gina as the sole heir in a will. If Gina had never signed over her ownership of the home, McCall said she would still be an owner. Or if she could show a paper trail detailing her financial contributions to the estate, she would be compensated.

“She doesn’t want money,” he said. “She wants to remain in her home.”

Even after three years, Texas would recognize a common law marriage and would allow a heterosexual spouse to get a life estate, allowing them to stay as long as they maintained the house. But Gina’s 23-year relationship with a woman is not even considered.

“This law needs to be thrown away. We surpassed anything for a common law marriage,” Gina said. “I am being horribly discriminated against [by the state] because I am female and my partner was female.”

Although “the worst has already happened to me because my partner is gone,” Gina said she still wants to remain in the house she made a home with Michelle, because leaving the memories would be even more painful.

“Of course it was [hard after she died]. Of course it was. But it’s our home, so I’m OK with staying in my home,” she said.

Now, Gina plans to have McCall write her a will.

And she’ll continue to share her story with others, so they can avoid similar problems.

“You can lose everything you ever owned — by law under the state of Texas to people that you’ve rarely seen,” she said.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 27, 2012.

Adoption Resources

• ADOPTION INTERNATIONAL
Jody Hall, LLC
International Adoptions for the LGBT community
972-231-2933
AdoptMeInternational.org

• FAMILY TO FAMILY ADOPTIONS
Pregnancy & Adoption Center
1000 Austin Street, Suite B, Richmond, TX
281-342-4042
Fam2Fam.org

• FERTILITY SPECIALISTS of TEXAS
Jerald Goldstein, MD
214-750-5500
FertilityTexas.com

• HOPE COTTAGE
Leslie Clay
Pregnancy & Adoption Center | PRIDE Training
4209 McKinney Ave, Dallas, TX
214-526-8721 x 242
HopeCottage.org

• LIFELONG ADOPTIONS
Mark Doyle
479-435-0186
LifelongAdoptions.com

• McKAY-KELLER CONSULTANTS, INC
Susan McKay, Attorney
Adoption Home Studies for LGBT families
214-341-9016
AdoptionAssistanceAndSupport.com

• PATHWAYS
Youth and family services non-profit | Adoption | Foster Care
817-391-0771
Pathway.org

• RAINBOW BABIES
General information on LGBT pregnancies and parenting
TheRainbowBabies.com

Surrogacy Services

• LOTUS BLOSSOM CONSULTING, LLC
Mindy Berkson, Infertility Consultant
35 East Wacker Drive, 9th Floor, Chicago, IL
312-854-7089
lotusblossomconsulting.com

• SURROGACY ABROAD, INC
Benhur Samson, MD
John Hancock Center
875 N. Michigan Ave., Suite 3100, Chicago, IL
855-567-2229
SurrogacyAbroad.com

• SURROGATE SOLUTIONS, LLC
Surrogacy Services
P.O. Box 923 Hewitt, TX 76642
361-772-4234
SurrogateSolutions.net

Legal Resources

• AMERICAN ACADEMY OF
ADOPTION ATTORNEYS
AdoptionAttorneys.com

• SUZANNE BRYANT, PC
Adoption | Wills
1907 N. Lamar Blvd., Suite 220, Austin, TX
512-476-4760
SuzanneBryantLaw.com

• REBECCA S. COVELL, PC
Wills | Estate Planning | Trusts | Probate
3710 Rawlins St., Suite 950, Dallas, TX
214-443-0300
CovellPC.com

• LAUREN GAYDOS DUFFER, PC
Adoption | Family Law | Mediation | Collaborative Law | Surrogacy
690 E. Lamar Blvd., Suite 560, Arlington, TX
817-548-5643
TXFamilyLawAtty.com

• CHRISTOPHER FARISH, PC
Family Law | Custody | Name Change | Probate | Wills & Estate Planning | Mediation |  Surrogacy | Collaborative Law | Adoption
8150 N. Central Expressway, Suite 600, Dallas, TX
214-373-9100
QuaidAndQuaid.com

• STEPHANIE HALL, PC
Adoption | Family Law | Custody | Wills | Probate | Estate Planning
4514 Cole, Suite 600, Dallas, TX
214-522-3343

• JOHN P. McCALL JR, PC
Family Law | Wills | Probate
214-942-1100
AttorneyMcCall.com

• MICHELLE MAY O’NEIL, PC
Adoption | Family Law | Custody
5420 Lyndon B. Johnson Frwy, Suite 500, Dallas, TX
972-852-8000 or 866-959-4330
TheMayFirm.com

• JULIE QUAID, PC
Family Law | Custody | Name Change | Probate | Wills & Estate Planning |  Surrogacy | Collaborative Law | Adoption
8150 N. Central Expressway, Suite 600, Dallas, TX
214-373-9100
QuaidAndQuaid.com

• MARTIN RUBIN, PC
Family Law | Wills and Probate | Criminal Defense
6944 Fairmount St., Dallas, TX
214-599-9100
www.DallasAttorney.org

• PETER SCHULTE, PC
Family Law | Will | Estate Planning | Probate
4131 N. Central Expressway, Suite 680, Dallas, TX
214-521-2200
PeteSchulte.com

• TIMOTHY T. THOMAS, P.C.
Wills | Estate Planning | Probate | Shared Parenting Agreements | Trusts
2501 Oak Lawn Ave., Suite 295, Dallas, TX
214-324-9298
TTTLaw.com

• KHIRALLAH WEST, PC
Chad West, PLLC
Wills | Estate Planning
3027 Routh Street, Suite 100, Dallas, TX
214-509-7555
ChadWestLaw.com

• JENNY WOMACK, P.C.
Adoption | Family Law | Mediation | Surrogacy
15455 N. Dallas Parkway, Suite 440, Addison, TX
214-744-4440
WilsonLakeLaw.com

• KIMBERLY VERMILLION WRIGHT, PC
Family Law | Adoption | Wills | Probate | Name Changes
6301 Gaston Ave., Suite 826, Dallas, TX. 469-916-7868
WrightFamilyAttorney.com

Resources for Couples

• COLLABORATIVE PROFESSIONALS OF DALLAS
Dispute Resolutions | Adoption | Custody
CPOfDallas.com

• COUPLES METRO DALLAS
Social organization for LGBT couples in committed relationships
CouplesMetroDallas.com

• TEXAS PARADISE WEDDINGS
Ka’i Roberts
Video production, DJ/emcee, first dance instruction
469-252-9938
TexasParadiseWeddings.com

Resources for Parents

• 2 DADDIES, 1 LOVE | 2 MOMMIES, 1 LOVE
Website Network for LGBT Parents
Cooper Smith Koch
214-329-9191 Ext. 104
TwoDaddiesOneLove.com

• FAMILY EQUALITY COUNCIL
Ensures equality for LGBT families
1050 17th St., NW, Suite 600, Washington, DC 20036
617-502-8700
FamilyEquality.org

• HRC FAMILY PROJECT
Resources for LGBT Parents | Family-friendly events
Claudia Orcasitas | Leo Cusimano Co-chairs
214-893-1075
hrc.org/steering-committees/dallas-and-fort-worth

• SMU’S CENTER FOR FAMILY COUNSELING
at Resource Center Dallas
2701 Reagan St. Dallas, TX
214-393-3680
Resources for LGBT Seniors

• AUTUMN JOURNEY HOSPICE
Providing in-Home Health Care
5347 Spring Valley, Dallas,  TX
972-233-0525
AutumnJourneyHospice.com

• CLICK WHEELCHAIR SERVICES
Wheelchair retail and repair
1075 Duncan Perry Rd., Arlington, TX
866-670-6805

• GAIN at RESOURCE CENTER DALLAS
GLBT Aging Interest Network, educational and social organization for GLBT Seniors
2701 Reagan St., Dallas, TX
214-528-0144
RCDallas.org

• KIND COMPANIONS
Providing in-Home Health Care
214-924-9302
KindCompanions.com

• PARKGATE DALLAS RETIREMENT LIVING
Luxury retirement community for LGBT seniors
2801 Wycliff Ave., Dallas, TX
214-219-1091
ParkGateDallas.com

• PRIME TIMERS DALLAS/FT. WORTH
Social, educational and recreational organization for gay and bisexual men
P.O. Box 191101, Dallas, TX
972-504-8866
PrimeTimers-DFW.org

• SAGE
National organization, services and advocacy for LGBT seniors
305 Seventh Avenue, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10001
212-741-2247
SageUSA.org

• VILLAGES OF LAKE HIGHLANDS
Senior living facility
8615 Lullwater Dr., Dallas, TX
214-221-0444
VillagesOfLakeHighlands.com

• WITECK COMBS COMMUNICATIONS
Bob Witeck
Studies of LGBT siblings caring for
aging parents and LGBT retirement
202-887-0500
WiteckCombs.com

Religious/Spiritual
Resources

• AGAPE MCC
4615 E. California Pkwy., Fort Worth, TX
817-535-5002
AgapeMCC.com

• CATHEDRAL OF HOPE
A Congregation of the United Church of Christ
5910 Cedar Springs Rd., Dallas, TX
214-351-1901
CathedralOfHope.com

• CENTER FOR SPIRITUAL LIVING
4801 Spring Valley Rd., Suite 115, Dallas, TX
972-866-9988
CSLDallas.org

• GRACE FELLOWSHIP IN CHRIST JESUS
411 S. Westmoreland, Dallas, TX
214-333-9779
GFICJesus.com

• HARVEST MCC DENTON
725 N. Elm St., Suite 18, Denton, TX
940-484-6159
HarvestMCC.org

Financial Resources

• AMERIPRISE FINANCIAL SERVICES
Davis Castano & Associates
Jay Davis | Jaclyn Castano
972-898-9399

• ERNEST GIACO, CPA
Financial Services | Financial Planning
817-731-7450

• MASS MUTUAL
Judy Sherman
Financial Services | Life Insurance
10000 N. Central Expressway, Suite 1200, Dallas, TX
972-348-6350
MassMutual.com

• MAXWELL FINANCIAL SERVICES
Kay Maxwell
Financial Services
14673 Midway Rd., Suite 100, Addison, TX
972-991-7887
MaxwellFinancial.com

• NEW YORK LIFE
Brian A. Walker
Life Insurance | Child ID Program for LGBT kids
972-774-2046
Facebook.com/bwnyl

• TURTLE CREEK ADVISORS
Doug Simmang
Financial Services
3100 Carlisle, Suite 123, Dallas, TX
TurtleCreekAdvisors.com

• CHRIS WOOD
Financial Services | Licensed Annuity Representative
1823 Hood St., Carrollton, TX
972-743-5721

INSURANCE

• ALLSTATE
Alex Long Insurance Agency
Life | Home | Auto
2700 N. O’Connor  Ste. 125, Irving, TX
972-570-7000
AlexLongInsuranceAgency.com

• FARMERS INSURANCE
Angel Irvin
Life | Home | Auto | Financial Services
14651 Dallas Parkway, Suite 110, Dallas, TX
972-367-6200

• STEVEN GRAVES INSURANCE
Life | Home | Auto
2919 Welborn St., Suite 100, Dallas, TX
214-599-0808
StevenGravesInsurance.com

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 27, 2012.

John McCall Jr.
Legal Voice

DEAR LEGAL VOICE: My partner and I have been together for almost 17 years.  We own several homes together, we have joint bank accounts and investments, and we also own separate life insurance policies with each other as beneficiaries so that in the event of an untimely death, the surviving partner is protected and financially secure. I continually read the horror stories about biological families trying to intervene after the death of a partner. What other documents do we need to be sure we are protected under all circumstances?
Mr. S.

MR. S.: Your question falls under estate planning and is a very sensitive matter for same-sex couples. The Texas Probate Code is not amicable to us and as a result, individuals such as you and your partner have a great deal to lose if legal protections are not perfectly in place.

When I consult clients about these affairs, I remind them there is no guarantee documents I draft will not be challenged by another family member. The code allows for challenges based on different criteria. It is my job to make sure those criteria are never met.

The best legal protection for one’s estate is to have your will, power of attorney and medical directive all drafted by an attorney who not only practices, but also litigates. Once you have been in court arguing over inheritance, it becomes very clear what wins and loses in court. There is a priority of tests the court makes in determining whether a challenge is granted or denied.

The first test that must be addressed is, who has the “standing” to challenge inheritance in Texas? Since Texas does not recognize same-sex marriage, we can presume that your partner does not have the capacity to hold himself out as a spouse. Likewise, if you were previously legally married, an ex-spouse cannot challenge. Those who can and normally do challenge are biological children, siblings or living parents of the deceased.

The next test is, are the documents being challenged the originals? There is a code provision for copies, but chances are those challenging will proclaim that an original was subsequently destroyed after the copy was made, and the deceased would then be presumed to have died “intestate” and/or without legal medical documents granting power to the partner.

If the documents are original, have they been witnessed and notarized? I cannot emphasize the importance of these components and how they can impact the finding on any challenge. Most challenges are made under the pretense that the individual signing the legal document “lacked capacity.” In layman’s terms, this means the signature was made while under the influence of others, medication or alcohol. To overcome that challenge, the witnesses and/or notary are the ones who testify to the condition of the individual at the time of signature.

While some people draft or sign wills in the hospital, it does not automatically mean they were under the influence of medication at the time they signed. Likewise, the individual in the hospital may quickly go under the influence, but so long as they were not at the time of signature, the challenge for “lacked capacity” is more than likely denied.

Even though a challenge to estate planning documents is ultimately denied, most challenges in court last for months and sometimes years. These challenges must be handled through a licensed attorney; Dallas County does not allow any pro se parties. Likewise, legal fees can run into the thousands of dollars, which normally comes out of the estate.

To circumvent these expenses, I advise clients to seriously consider who is the likely heir that might challenge a will. Chances are you already know who that person is and if they have “standing.”

Remember, it cannot be an in-law, it has to be a legal heir as mentioned above. With that being said, once said individual is identified, it is probably advisable to bequeath a token of one’s estate to them with the disclaimer that any challenge forfeits the inheritance.

My clients will always ask how much of a token should the potential challenger receive. The answer is normally 5 percent of your entire estate.

Since none of you know your potential net wealth years from now, we can only speculate on what size your estate will be and forecast accordingly. While the exact percent is not critical, what is critical is what motivates the challenger and what amount would give them pause before dragging your partner through the courts.

Got an LGBT-related legal question? Email Legal Voice at Editor@DallasVoice.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 27, 2012.

GAY DADS IN DEMAND | Jeremy Pryor, left, and Mark Doyle adopted Emma Kate from a birth mother in Tennessee who requested that a gay couple adopt her baby because she had a friend who was a gay dad and wanted to help a gay couple have a child. (Anna Waugh/Dallas Voice)

ANNA WAUGH  |  Staff Writer

PLANO — For Mark Doyle and Jeremy Pryor, finding a baby to adopt took only a day.

The couple had discussed starting a family for a year and how they would go about it.

One night in October of last year, Doyle searched online for gay-friendly adoption agencies.

He found Lifelong Adoptions and completed an application without telling Pryor.

“I was very nervous,” Doyle recalls, adding that he didn’t want to get his hopes up. “We were more worried about getting heartbroken through an agency declining us because we’re gay and not being accepted for who we are.”

The next day, Doyle received an email from the agency informing him that a baby had been found for him and Pryor.

Thinking it was too good to be true, he deleted it.

After more emails and phone calls, Doyle finally told Pryor, and the two looked into the future the agency promised.

It turned out that the birth mother, a young woman in Tennessee, had requested that a gay couple adopt her baby because she had a friend who was gay. He’d had a baby with a friend and the mother wanted to help a gay couple have a child.

FRONT OF THE LINE | When the baby was a girl, three gay couples ahead of them declined. Doyle hadn’t filled out a preferred gender on the application, and the couple decided they just wanted a baby. ‘I think any child is a blessing,’ Pryor said. (Anna Waugh/Dallas Voice)

“She always said that he just made the best parent and him and his little girl were so connected, so she wanted to give another family that opportunity,” Pryor said.

The baby was a girl, a fact that made the three gay couples ahead of them decline, because they wanted a boy instead.

Doyle hadn’t filled out a preferred gender on the application. And the two decided they just wanted a baby.

“I think any child is a blessing,” Pryor said.

So, the two of them signed the paperwork within two days of the initial email, deciding to finally give their family a plus-one.

“We knew that those things are time sensitive and if we were to drag our feet that someone else wouldn’t,” Pryor said. “There was no need to belabor the conversations any further because we’d already had so many of them.”

The birth mother liked them immediately after phone calls, agreeing to let them be involved in the birth and kept them informed of doctor appointments.

Having already planned a trip to Nashville for New Year’s, they planned to meet the birth mother in person before the birth of their daughter.

Although the baby was due in April, complications with the pregnancy led to an early delivery. Doyle got the call March 6 while packing for a business trip. The baby was on her way.

That afternoon, Doyle and Pryor were on the road and arrived at the hospital at 4:30 a.m. after the 14-hour drive.

Nervous about how the hospital would react to them, Pryor said the hospital welcomed them, taking them immediately to the neonatal intensive care unit and preparing a room for them.

“Even being in a different state I wasn’t sure how people would take two gay males coming in to take care of a baby, but they had their arms open wide for us,” he said.

At only 3 1⁄2 pounds, little Emma Kate had to remain in the NICU for 11 days. Doyle and Pryor had to stay for at least seven days for interstate compact clearance for the adoption between Tennessee and Texas.

But she was soon healthy and able to travel home. Before leaving the hospital, Pryor signed the birth certificate. The couple is planning to begin a second-parent adoption, but just need the certificate to be sent to them to begin the process.

Thankful for the little miracle that gave them a family, Doyle approached the agency in June about working for them. He said Lifelong hired him immediately to help relate to other gay couples wanting to adopt.

Although the agency had helped gay couples adopt in the past, Doyle said they didn’t have any gay staff members.

“This is what I enjoy doing is talking to somebody about building their family because they’re in the same situation that Jeremy and I were in,” Doyle said. “They just need someone to encourage them to go ahead and go forward and let them know that it can be done. Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean we can’t have a family or can’t adopt.”

When asked if they want more children in the future, they both answer “most definitely.”

“We haven’t narrowed it down yet, but we definitely want another one for her,” Pryor said.

Doyle said he’s thrilled to help other couples find the children they long for and walk them through the process. And Pryor said he’s grateful to have their story shared with couples who see adoption as daunting.

“It is a daunting process, but we’re just everyday people. We were able to make it work and it’s been a great experience and one we’re obviously willing to do again,” Pryor said. “I think that that’s good for other people to see that as well.”

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 27, 2012.

WELL PROTECTED | Chris Watts and Todd Fisher, owners of The Petropolitan, incorporated to protect each other’s shares in the business in case something happens to one of them. Shares would transfer to a surviving partner, and they have a strategic plan if one wants to leave the business. (Amy Price/Dallas Voice)

DAVID TAFFET  |  Staff Writer

Before becoming president and CEO of the North Texas GLBT Chamber of Commerce, Tony Vedda started a small business with his partner.

“Communication is the key,” Vedda said. “Have clearly defined roles. Know who’s responsible for what parts of the business. Be both supportive and receptive.”

He added that if the business is structured as a corporation with a hierarchy, leave those roles at work.

Other local gay couples who are in business together had similar advice.

Michael Brown and Christian Hamilton moved to Dallas to purchase Goodsense Deli on McKinney Avenue at Howell Street in Uptown. The business had been failing and the couple made an offer. Brown had been working as training manager with the company in Kansas City.

He said it took them a year to turn the location around, but in year-to-year sales, they are up 88 percent, ranking them first in the company that has 92 locations in nine states.

He said working with his partner is an anomaly, adding that none of their friends do so.

“But we get along well,” he said.

When they occasionally have a power struggle, the resolution is simple, he said.

“I get my way.”

But as Hamilton laughed, Brown changed his answer.

“I get my way at the restaurant,” he said. “He gets his way at home.”

Brown said having clearly defined roles is a way for a couple to manage working together.

Hamilton handles marketing and social media, and they have a general manager.

“Operationally the GM does everything,” Brown said.

He said that working together involves compromise and a sense of humor. Often they take turns giving in to each other.
Although Brown has had 15 years of restaurant experience and Hamilton only four, if Hamilton  feels strongly about doing something one way,

Brown will sometimes concede, even if he knows the idea won’t work. And when it doesn’t work, he won’t make too big a fuss.

But they enjoy having the business together so much that they’re looking for a second location.

• Henry Ramirez echoed the idea of open communication. He not only works with his partner but with other family members as well.

After five years at Resource Center Dallas, Ramirez left the agency to work with his partner at Mocha Bakery, a business started by several  of Ramirez’s family members. Ramirez said his family has been baking since he was a kid and decided to make it a business.

The bakery specializes in designer cakes, cheese cakes, kolaches and recently began baking bread and rolls. They have no storefront, instead catering large events and weddings.

Ramirez said he was working at the bakery whenever he was not at the center and as demand grew, he decided to come on full time.

Before going into business together, he said he and partner Tony Gipson talked about problems they knew other couples faced.

“We talk and work things out,” he said. “We’re open about finances, distributing work and creating a good work environment,” Ramirez said.

• Chris Watts and Todd Fisher spent quite a bit of time planning before opening The Petropolitan, a dog grooming and spa services provider.

Watts said they sold some assets to make sure they wouldn’t be overwhelmed in debt if the business didn’t succeed. He said he knows working together isn’t for every couple but works well for them.

“We can be a sounding board for each other,” he said. “We both know on a daily basis what we’re going through.”

He said they built their business plan backwards by starting with what they knew didn’t work for similar businesses and then located in an unlikely place.

When they opened downtown six years ago, they were at the beginning of the boom in repurposing old office buildings into new living space.

They wanted to encourage urban core dwellers to have animals.

They structured their fees so that everything’s included.

All pets get the same attention and care.

And their partnership has worked because they respect each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

“Talk honestly,” Watts said. “Listen. Realize what your partners fears are.”

He said that a couple that argues about everything at home shouldn’t think about going into business together.

“But if your partner energizes you and gives you strength, if you have have similar passions,” he said, that could translate into a great business partnership.

Watts and Fisher have also put paperwork in place to protect themselves and the business.

“We’re incorporated to protect each other’s shares in the business in case something happens to us,” Watts said.

Shares would transfer to a surviving partner and they have a strategic plan in case one wanted to leave the business.

Attorney Rebecca Covell said that just as gay and lesbian couples need special paperwork to protect themselves, businesses run by same-sex couples need special protection.

“Exactly what they need depends on the structure of the business,” she said.

She suggested a business partnership agreement. Or if a business has a more formal structure such as a corporation or LLC, the protection might be built into the corporate documents.

She said couples need to protect themselves against the three Ds — death, divorce and disability. Divorce, she said, covers divorce from each other or divorce from the business.

In case of the death of one of the partners, families could become involved.

With the proper paperwork in place, the family might get some money, but without it, they’d get half the business. Covell said proper documents should simply leave the surviving partner full ownership.

Covell said that partners who go into business with each other should be very careful to have all of their paperwork in order.

“You can’t be overprotected when it comes to your business” she said.

 This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 27, 2012.