Christmas Star

Posted on 18 Dec 2008 at 11:31am
By Daniel A. Kusner Life+Style Editor

Bah, Humbug! Jeffree Star says the holidays turn him into a Scrooge, who wants to flip off America and move to London



YOU’RE SO VAIN: Jeffree Star says being fabulous 24/7 is just exhausting.

Marilyn Manson had better watch her back. Jeffree Star’s new EP, "Cupcakes Taste Like Violence" (Popsicle Records) just came out, and if parents aren’t already worried, they should be.

Like Chris "Leave Britney Alone" Crocker, Star is famous for his 900,000 MySpace friends. The Hollywood starlet has a career outside of the blogosphere — as a makeup whiz, working on celebrity clients like Kelly Osbourne. He’s also made cameos in music videos for Good Charlotte and Peaches, and once landed an appearance on "America’s Next Top Model."

What’s his music like?

With song titles like "So Fierce" and "Lollipop Luxury," don’t expect anything organic — just layers of programmed beats, electronica and Vocoder singing. That shouldn’t be surprising: We’re not even sure Star is human.

This week, Dallas Voice caught up with Star via e-mail, which he answered after finishing his community service obligation.  In September, Star claimed that he got arrested for carrying a weapon into a Burbank airport. Most suspect that the "arrest" was a publicity stunt. These Internet kids will say and do anything for a taste of fame and scandal.

What’s the worst Christmas present an old trick or boyfriend ever gave you? I’ve never dated anyone — because they can’t afford my Gucci and Louis Vuitton obsession. Christmas time reminds me why I wanna move to London and give America the middle finger on my way out. Guys think flowers are cute. I’d rather slit my wrists then see some roses that will be dead in a week. Try a fucking handbag, boys — it lasts longer.

What do you want for Christmas? I’m praying to Jesus that I get that new medication that makes gay people straight. I’m tired of everyone hating faggots. It’s exhausting being fabulous 24/7.

Get any Christmas cards from celebrities this year? Nicole Richie sent me one, and after the Hallmark quote she wrote, "All I want for Christmas is my popularity back." Sad, huh?

You’ve done makeup for both Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie: Which one is prettier? Paris, by far. Nicole was so anorexic I can’t remember how I even got lipstick on a needle to apply it.

Do you miss having real eyebrows? I honestly can’t remember what I look like with them. Ugly, I remember. And who knows? Maybe after I’m over being in love with how beautiful I make myself, I might give reality a shot.

How will your new album change the world? It’s going to further youth into realizing to "not give a fuck!"
     
It’s almost 2009 — what popular 2008 trend did you hate the most? Breathing.

How does the name of your Web site — jeffreeCUNTstar.com — champion feminist causes? I’m forcing women to use tampons more often. I’m so sick of waking up in a pool of blood and finding my dogs licking it.
How many Prop 8 protests did you attend this year? None because being gay is a sin, duh!

Sophie’s Choice: Chris Crocker or Bobby Trendy? Chris Crocker, because he takes anal way better. Bobby always wants to put pink feather pillows around my vagina, and it gets in the way. Yeast infections are so 2003.

Can you play any musical instruments that aren’t electronic? Yeah, the skinflute. And the buttplug harp.

Come Jan 20, George Bush should be moving to Dallas. How should Dallas’ gay community recognize and acknowledge George and Laura as our newest citizens?  They should [Dallas Voice cannot publish Star's response because it's a federal offense to even joke about threatening the president's life]. It’s very winter — or so Vogue said.



KEYSHIA DOES DALLAS

Last year, MediaTakeOut.com ran a post that said, "I don’t care how big her jugs are, Keyshia Cole is a hardcore butch lesbian." Which only made her gay fans scream, "Really? Who knew?"

If you caught Cole last year warming up for R. Kelly, you know she was the best part of that four-hour extravaganza. On Friday’s "I Am Music" tour, she returns to American Airlines Center with a voice that’s a triple-threat: flexible pop, muscular soul and hard hip-hop.

American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Ave. Dec. 19 at 7:30 p.m. $39.75-$125.75.

SMOOVE SUNDAY

On Sunday, lesbian neo-folkie Lady B Smoove, pictured, hosts a free Christmasy open-mike night in The Cedars. Smoove promises some soft-funk holiday tunes and maybe some stuff from her new disc "Thought You Knew." And if you like to sing, rap, tell jokes or spit poems, y’all are welcome to join her onstage.

The Absinthe Lounge, 1409 South Lamar. Free. Dec 21 at 9 p.m.

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