Having fun with the Olympics

Posted on 01 Aug 2012 at 12:21pm

Sweden’s decathlete Bjorn Barrefors gives new meaning to the term “Swedish meatballs.”

Last night, my good friend and fellow critic Elaine Liner at the Dallas Observer engaged in a Facebook exchange where we came up with a tongue-in-cheek list of rejected Olympic sports. Here’s what we came up with; what can you think of?

• Undressage

• Bicuriousathlon

• Javelina throw (Arkansas only)

• Oprah lifting

• Greco-Roman bailout

• Bobby tossing

• Goodminton

• Pumice horse

• Uneven parallel lives

• Quintuples tennis

• Individual vegetable medley

• Skeet Ulrich shooting

• 1000 meter staring

• 4000 meter relapse with Dr. Drew

• Mammary development (women’s gymnastic only)

• 10 meter platform driving

• Pallbearing

• Synchronized screaming

• Bitch volleyball

• Wanking (singles and pairs)

• Sudoku

• Tramp stamping

• Speedtalking

• Tumblring

• Discus-s

• 1000 meter race-baiting

• Deathlon

• Frottage

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