Funny valentine

Posted on 08 Feb 2007 at 9:03pm
By Daniel A. Kusner Life+Style Editor

7 sexy questions with funny lady Kate Clinton



LESBIAN ON WRY: Clinton performs Saturday at First Unitarian Church Of Dallas. (Photo by David Rogers)

With a delivery that’s dryer than a martini, Kate Clinton is the go-to comedian for political humor, funny feminist observations and wry commentary about life as a lesbian.

On Saturday, Clinton brings her “25th Anniversary Show” to Dallas audiences. And since it’s the weekend before Valentine’s Day we sent an e-mail with seven questions about current events and Cupid’s evil curse that holiday that makes you want to spank any cherubs brandishing a bow and arrow.

Name three things Heather Poe should do to get Mary Cheney’s motor running on Feb. 14.
Heather should do Ann Coulter, Jenna and Barbara Bush (the younger Barbara). Talk about “Things Gone Wild!”

That Rosie O’Donnell sure is a crafty beaver. Let’s say Rosie and Kelli O’Donnell needed some help because they wanted to send Donald Trump a Valentine. What advice would you offer?
Send to The Donald the barber who convinced Rudi Gulianni to get rid of his combover. Some tranquilizers and talc. Ten minutes, and it’s done.

According to GLAAD, “faggot” is apparently the new anti-gay F word. How would you feel if GLAAD suddenly licensed the term “bull dyke” so that only homophobic bigots could use it?
I want to run the rehab for lesbo slurs. I’ve got the outfit. I’ll make the time.

Hillary has decided to run. Y’all share the same last name. Will you be stumping for Senator Clinton? Do you agree with Hillary’s stance on same-sex unions?
You’re assuming George will leave. You’re adorable! If Hillary gets the nomination, I’ll stomp the yard for her. I don’t think any candidate should be allowed to talk about same-sex unions until we’re out of Iraq.

Let’s play “Celebrity Closet.” If you could trade any out lesbian for Jodie Foster, who would it be and why?
Let’s just say I don’t want them out if they don’t want to be out. Their loss. I wish George Clooney were a lesbian.

What’s the best Valentine’s Day present you’ve ever received?
I was in India, and I watched Hindu fundamentalists attack a Hallmark Store.

What’s the worst?
In second grade I got nothing. Zero. Zip. Zilch from my secret throb, Martha Madigan. It still hurts. Thanks for bringing it up.

KATE’S DALLAS DATE

Kate Clinton performs Saturday at the First Unitarian Church Of Dallas, 4015 Normandy Ave.

Feb. 10 at 8 p.m.

Tickets: general admission $30, reserved seating $50, Reserved seating and reception with Clinton, $100. Professional childcare available.

Tickets available at Crossroads Market Bookstore and Cafe, 214-521-8919.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition, February 9, 2007.

Comments

comments

Powered by Facebook Comments