God hath wrought floods, earthquakes and tornadoes because she’s pissed

Posted on 12 May 2015 at 1:26pm

Angela Hunt Hill BridgeHave you wondered why earthquakes are occurring regularly in Dallas County, but they’re not happening in the city of Dallas?

Let me see if I can explain it in terms that people who watch The 700 Club or attend Prestonwood Baptist Church can understand.

God is pissed at all this anti-gay legislation and is sending a message.

So earthquakes have hit Irving, which recently passed an anti-Sharia Law ordinance; Farmers Branch, which has been trying for years to get rid of its Hispanic population by passing ordinances allowing landlords not to rent to them; and University Park, which is, well, just a red hole surrounded by a sea of Dallas blue.

But, please note, no earthquakes have hit the city of Dallas.

Oh, we feel them. I was home a few weeks ago when one of the bigger quakes hit Irving and it felt like a car crashed into my building. But I realized what it was and just said, “God must be pissed at Irving again.”

While the Texas Legislature spends its time debating a bill to stop state and county officials from issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, God destroyed a town in the middle of right-wing East Texas, nearly wiping it off the map with a tornado.

How did the Legislature respond? Not even a short break in their serious anti-gay deliberations to send the town some aid.

Better than the response in early April to super-sized hail. After some severe hailstorms, the Senate passed a bill that would limit insurance claims for hail damage, limit the time to file a claim and increase penalties for inflating claims. After all, if your house is hit by hail, it’s your own damn fault.

And what’s with all the rain?

Here in Dallas, the rain has served as a reminder that it’s not a good idea to put a highway in a river. But the flood waters have mostly just stayed between the levees until they’re safely out of Dallas where they’ve flooded homes across our red counties to the south. Gee, sorry that’s happened Ellis and Navarro counties, but we tried to warn you. Go to church this Sunday and maybe your pastor will explain to you that God doesn’t like homophobia.

Unfortunately, more torrential rain is predicted for later in the week after the Love Your Neighbor Unless He’s Gay bill passes.

Why is all this happening?

Because God is pissed.

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