How, exactly, does one celebrate National Bisexuality Day? Because that's what today is (or rather, it's "Celebrate Bisexuality Day"), I have just realized in a glaring oversight of my bi brothers and sisters. It's the 19th annual celebration of Malcolm X, Marlene Dietrich, and Lord Byron types, and a chance for heterosexuals to insist there's no such thing as bisexuality. So do whatever it is us queers are supposed to do on holidays that celebrate our queerness: get drunk and take somebody home. Or is that just the proper behavior for gay pride parades? Ugh, sometimes I have no idea how to be LGBT.