Au contraire.

A friend sent me a this link, to a Web site called “Cats that Look Like Hitler.” You rate them — like Rate-A-Rod and Rate-a-Rear — based on, I assume, their similarities (appearance-wise; it’s not like the have to invade Poland) to the former Chancellor of Germany.

Laurie Foley, the 2008-2009 co-chair for Black Tie Dinner, has a black cocker spaniel named Beckham who won the Black Cocker Variety division today at the Westminster Dog Show. That means Beckham now advances to Sporting division competition tonight.

So take a break from watching the Olympics, flip over to the dog show and root for Beckham.

On Wednesday, I blogged here about Gollum, the Italian greyhound who had been missing since Monday afternoon when his owner, Andrea Benua, drowned in a partially frozen pond in Fort Worth as she was trying to save her other two dogs, a Rottweiler puppy and another greyhound, who had fallen through the ice.

Gollum went for help and led an animal control to the side of the pond where Mrs. Benua had left her jacket and other belongings. Searchers found her body in the pond 2 hours later. But Gollum went missing then.

Friday afternoon, though, builders in the north Fort Worth neighborhood near the Benua home. They caught Gollum and returned him to Mrs. Benua’s husband.

Gollum, the greyhound hero

Terri Rimmer over in Fort Worth today forwarded an e-mail to me from Fort Woof Dog Park, and I am sharing it here in hopes someone can help find Gollum.

This is a very sad story, and it starts on Monday afternoon this week. According to a story in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, animal control officer Charles Hernandez got a call from some construction workers who said there was a Rottweiler that appeared to be drowning in a partially-frozen over pond near their work site. When he got there, Hernandez didn’t see the Rottweiler, but he did notice a greyhound that was acting strangely.

Hernandez told the Star-Telegram that the greyhound came to him, trying to get his attention, barking at the pond and trying to lead him toward the water. When he followed the dog, it led him to the east side of the pond, where he found a woman’s jacket, cellphone and keys.

The items belonged to a woman named Andrea Benua, 34. Apparently, Mrs. Benua was out walking with her three dogs — a Rottweiler puppy named Mallory, an Italian greyhound named Artimus and the second greyhound, Gollum. Police believe that Mallory and Artimus went out onto the ice of the partially-frozen pond and fell through. Mrs. Benua then apparently left her jacket, keys and cellphone on the edge of the pond and went into the frigid water after her pets.

Tragically, Mrs. Benua drowned while trying to save her beloved dogs. Emergency rescue workers found her body in the pond about two hours after the initial call went in to animal rescue.

To make it even more tragic, Gollum — the greyhound who led Hernandez to the site and who is pictured above — has been missing since then, and Mrs. Benua’s grieving husband desperately wants him back. Gollum was last seen in the area near Basswood Boulevard in far north Fort Worth.

The Star-Telegram reports that The Velvet Snout Canine Adventure Center is offering a $500 reward for Gollum’s safe return. Fort Woof Dog Park Association — of which Mrs Benua was an avid supporter — is offering a separate reward of $250.

Anybody with information on Gollum’s whereabouts is asked to e-mail contact@fortwoof.org or call 817-721-6056. I hope someone out there in Instant Tea-land has some information that can help bring Gollum home.

In other business news, NBC 5 reported last night that Eatzi’s is opening a second location in February in the Lovers Lane/Tollway area. After closing up many of their other shops a few years back, it sounds like the food market is embracing the idea of expansion again. But really, we dig how reporter Ellen Goldberg says “Eatzi’s on Oak Lawn in Dallas has a cult-like following.”

Not so Terry Thompson in my office. He insists Popeye is defective and/or funny-looking. I think he has character.

So Terry took it upon himself to — in his words — use “the magic of reconstructive iSurgery” to “improve” upon my little Mexican spitfire. Thus, THIS picture of my dog …

… has become THIS.

Already, Kris Martin has encouraged the modification, but I don’t know. Better? Worse? I just don’t want to have to change his name to PopIN.

Dallas Voice is looking for nude models. Don’t worry if you haven’t been the gym lately or are even a little camera shy. Because it’s not you who will be nude — it will be your dog.

We’re gearing up with the Readers Voice Awards next spring, where we declare the top dogs in a variety of categories — and what better way to introduce the winners than with our readers’ own “top dogs.”

So here’s the deal: We want you to submit photos of your pooch or pooches. You can be in it or not. You can dress up Fido if you wanna (naked animals are OK), but that’s up to you. In fact, there are virtually NO limits on what you submit … as long as there’s a dog in the pic. Once we get all the entries, the we’ll be selecting the top 10. Those finalists will come in for their own professional photoshoot and those pictures will be put up on the Web site for readers to vote on. The winner gets to be the face of the Readers Voice Awards. (The nine other finalists will be part of the spread, too.)

But that’s not all. The winning team (pet and master) will have $2,500 donated in their names to AIDS Arms’ LifeBark 2010 as a “dogleg-up” on on next year’s LifeWalk event (which can be in addition to any funds you raise yourself if you wanna set some kind of crazy fundraising record).

Don’t take too long, though. The deadline to submit your photo is Dec. 4. E-mail it to TopDog@dallasvoice.com. Yippie dogs go to the front of the line. (Not really, but they think they do.)

So get moving! Who’s a good fella? Who? You is!

If only I could tell you how this relates to my upcoming lead story this week in the Life+Styles section.

The event starts tonight at 6 p.m. This party must be fancy. The last line of their e-mail said, “We will have a photographer there, but you are welcome to bring your own if you wish.”

The dining experience sounds like something you’d find at The Grape. Only this is for dogs. The “intimate bistro dining experience” includes “small-dog sized tables and chairs, miniature menus and even a centerpiece for the table!  Wait staff will distribute complimentary samples of the entrees on collectible dining dishes that patrons can take home, while supplies last.” Fancy.

Share the Love happens the next few Saturdays until Oct. 10. at the following parks –
Sat., Aug. 29 at Fort Woof Dog Park
Sat., Sept. 5 at Central Bark Grand Prairie Dog Park
Sat., Sept. 26 at Griggs Park
Sat., Oct. 3 at Dog Park / Jack Carter Park
Sat., Oct. 10 at Fort Woof Dog Park.

Doggie dining is from 11 a.m.–4 p.m. at the Deep Ellum Dog Park at Good Latimer and Commerce. No reservations required.