Obama has no plan to deal with hummus

Posted on 04 Dec 2015 at 10:41am

While Republican frontrunner Donald Trump was praised for having the guts to make an anti-Semitic speech in front of the Jewish Republican Coalition, presidential candidate Ben Carson told the group about the danger of the terrorist organization Hummus that rules in the Gaza Strip.

Screen shot 2015-12-04 at 10.24.35 AMBut is hummus the real enemy? What about falafel?!

No, falafel’s not the problem either, even though it’s fried and doesn’t have the same nutritional value as hummus. The real enemy may be pita bread.

No one eats hummus directly from the container. We spread it on pita. Same thing with falafel. We put falafel into the pita pocket before eating.

So if it weren’t for pita, we wouldn’t have this terrible problem with hummus. Or falafel.

But what about babaganoush?

True story: About 20 years ago, I was in a restaurant in Jerusalem called Dallas — how could I not try a restaurant anywhere named Dallas? — and got food poisoning from the babaganoush. Instead of letting it ruin my trip, however, I quickly learned where every public bathroom in Jerusalem is.

And that might be our true enemy.

Babaganoush. From Dallas. The restaurant, not the city. Hopefully Ben Carson won’t get them confused.

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