22nd February 2012
TODAY'S BEST BET
Oral Roberts’ gay grandson speaks out
Late televangelist also had son who committed suicide after coming out, but Dallas man takes different path
DAVID TAFFET | Staff Writer taffet@dallasvoice.com
- GAY PROGENY | Randy Potts, left, attended the funeral of his grandfather, Oral Roberts, right, but wasn’t invited to sit with family.
Randy Roberts Potts grew up like many in this area. Raised in an evangelical family, he married at 20 and had three children.
But at 30, he came out as gay and moved to Dallas.
Today, few in his family speak to him. But last year he summoned the courage to take his children to visit his grandfather — Tulsa evangelist Oral Roberts.
Roberts, who died last year, had four children: Potts’ mother, a Tulsa attorney; her sister, who died in a plane crash with her husband in 1977; Ronnie Roberts, who committed suicide in 1982; and Richard Roberts, who became president of Oral Roberts University in 1993 but resigned in 2007 after being accused of using school funds for personal and political purposes.
Potts identifies most closely with his deceased uncle, Ronnie. They look alike. They were both teachers. They married, had children and divorced at about the same age.
“We married very similar women, too,” Potts said.
They were also about the same age when they came out. But there is a major difference between the two.
Ronnie came out as gay to the Rev. Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Church, in the early 1980s. Six months later, Ronnie Roberts committed suicide.
Potts, on the other hand, learned to embrace his identity.
Potts said he believes people need to take responsibility for their own lives. If their families aren’t supportive, they need to surround themselves with people who are. That is what made the difference for him.
But the times were different as well, for Potts and his uncle.
“By the time I was in my late 20s, we had ‘Will & Grace,’” Potts said. “In 1982 in Tulsa, there were no role models.”
Although it was pretty common knowledge in the LGBT community that Oral Roberts had a gay son, in the family and at church it was a big secret. Potts said he didn’t know himself until fairly recently.
“In the gay community people knew that,” he said. “In my family it was utter heresy that I mentioned it.”
He said the “the act of saying it publicly” has estranged most of his family from him.
Since he came out, Potts said only two people in his family even talk to him — his brother and a distant cousin.
Potts met his wife at age 18. They married two years later and had three children.
Ten years after they married, he and his wife divorced. When she got a new job in Dallas, he moved here to be near his children. They have joint custody.
His estrangement from his family began much earlier.
He compared his mother to Sarah Palin.
“She reminds me a lot of my mother,” he said of Palin. “I hear my mother in her, the same sort of mindset.”
Potts said his relationship with his mother reflected her relationship with her father.
Last year, he decided to take his children to meet their great-grandfather, a man he described as very cold.
“I was terrified of him as a kid,” Potts said.
He recalled that as he was growing up, his grandfather never remembered his name or the names of any of Potts’ cousins.
But he was surprised during this last visit.
“He wanted to be the grandfatherly type in that visit,” Potts said. “It was nice that he was play-acting for my kids.”
When he arrived, he was surprised that Roberts had learned the names of each his great-grandchildren, and he gave each of the children a $20 bill and an autographed copy of one of his books.
“That’s his legacy, his life’s work,” Potts said, saying he thinks his grandfather believed the book would mean something to his great-grandchildren when they were older.
Despite Roberts’ attitude toward his great-grandchildren, Potts said he knows it must have been difficult for the evangelist to see Potts himself. “I know I must have reminded him of Ronnie,” he said. “I was the same age as Ronnie when he died. I know that ran through his head several times when he looked at me.
“He was very isolated and alone,” he said. “He was always too busy for friends. So here he is 91. He lost his wife in 2005.”
Potts’ grandmother was his closest relative. He described her as kind and loving. She died the year he came out.
For her funeral, he was not allowed in the family tent. Instead, he stood outside to hold one of the tent poles.
When his grandfather died last December at the age of 91, Potts decided to attend the funeral. but he was not invited to sit with the family.
But Potts lives a happy life in Dallas. He works several jobs to make ends meet. He’s doing some writing on several subjects. He said he’s heard little from his family about a recent an article published by This Land, an Oklahoma periodical, about his family.
He has an agent and hopes to publish a book out about the same subject.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 9, 2010.
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James, there’s a superb book out there, “I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist,” which makes a fantastic and cogent case for God, using the principles of logic (inductive, deductive, etc.). I encourage you to find this if you wish to know what would be the evidence to support that God exists, and that He created the human race. If you believe that every item on the earth is impacted by the Law of Gravity, you will have evidence enough to believe that God exists after you read this extraordinary work. (The Law of Gravity cannot be proven to impact every item on the earth because every item on the earth cannot be observed at once. But we BELIEVE that it does impact every item on the earth, by the use of inductive and deductive reasoning. The same may be used for evidence that God exists.) I also would submit, although with trepidation because I fear this may not be well received, that simply because something is genetic doesn’t render it ideal nor even desirable. There is a genetic tendency towards alcoholism. But this doesn’t mean the individual carrying these genetics is forced to ACT as an alcoholic, or should. There are genes for breast cancer; there is a genetic tendency towards heart disease and diabetes…Pedophilia is also now believed to have a genetic component. Researchers have discovered that certain women may be genetically predisposed to cheat on their partners. I’m not saying that the genetic tendency (which seems to be established but I haven’t personally read the studies to evaluate them) towards homosexuality is a “negative” just because these other genetic predispositions are negative ones…I’m just saying that simply because something is a genetic tendency does not render it a good, positive, and wholesome thing…In the same vein that something being “natural” doesn’t necessarily render it wholesome. Schizophrenic people may have a genetically-based, “natural” tendency to split their personalities, but even if “this is the way they were made,” this doesn’t mean that this condition is desirable nor ideal. It feels “natural” for the pedophile to do what s/he does, and the genetic tendencies involved make it seem so normal for that person…But it’s not ideal nor desirable.
However, having said all of this, I also do NOT believe that a family should in any way reject, smear, scorn, nor disown a person who is gay! They are flesh and blood! Family members belong together! No matter what religion or persuasion they are! So I would not have made that choice towards my son nor my grandson (or daughter or granddaughter). In fact, at times I wonder if my 11yo. son is gay – and if he ever comes out to us, I will love on him and embrace him and tell him he is forever in my heart and life – although he will be aware, without my saying it, from prior conversations in the family that this type of activity is something we consider to be wrong. (But we have all done wrong so I’m no less of a sinner. He could disown ME!) Getting back to God, there are many unseen things in whose existence we believe, but cannot prove: justice, love, spiritual peace, etc. We may observe their effects, but cannot outright prove they exist. By the way, you are very well-spoken and -educated. Your correct use of grammar makes it a pleasure to read your writings.
Antonia, clearly you are also well spoken and well educated. The one thing I think you may be overlooking is that while sexual orientation is not a matter of choice, neither does the “activity” (your word) typically cause or create any harm between two consenting adults. If you truly love your son as much as you say you do, let him be to grow, explore, develop and make his own informed decisions. You may certainly guide him during his formative years (like right now), but to tell him that something is “wrong” simply because you either do not understand or disagree with how he feels is…well, “wrong”. While you would never do anything to disown him, you would not conversely want to do/say anything to cause him to disown you either. You can certainly try to teach him respect for others, but it is also important to allow him the freedom to be who he is without any duress or undue or misguided parental influences.
The author of “i dont have enough faith to be an atheist” Is frank turek. Instead of reading that book go watch him debate christopher hitchens, a much better use of your time.
the bible was written by men ”yes” but chosen men by GOD….who were filled with the HOLY SPIRIT…..so as no lying spirit can interfere…..and it was solely inspired by GOD….so as to last forever on earth…and is our blueprint to follow to get to heaven and not get caught up in the circle of earth life over and over and over again …that is why JESUS CHRIST DIED for our sins…meaning????GOD created the devil and along our way [[[life on earth]]]] for reasons that we are to learn the way of CHRIST—— JESUS SAID++++++++””” I AM THE WAY–THE TRUTH–THE LIGHT— NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER ””BUT”” BY ME..remember what JESUS said to the man on the cross [[[ thief ]]] — today you shall be with ME in paradise….NOT!!! heaven—–BUT PARADISE……. the thief was not ready to be with the FATHER IN HEAVEN?????? YET…..AND so it is with us all…..JESUS ALSO SAID..some when they die will rest and others will prepare for the final day…and others ????? still studying the bible….it is so interesting and alive — i always ask the HOLY SPIRIT to guide me and that way i won’t fine the scriptures to be dead like the lying spirits want us to think they are.
Linn: prove to me that what you are saying is true. Just because someone writes something doesn’t mean it’s a fact. Give me some facts, otherwise everything you said is meaningless gibberish. (And I stress “meaningless”.)
HI James–I really appreciate your skepticism …i do not trust everything as well just because someone wrote or said it…even if it is backed up or approved by the highest known authority here on earth…i will still search and verify—WHAT IS TRUTH…..James–we are not only fleshly beings we are also spiritual beings…you know this since we have a brain that allows us to think and assimilate the goings on around us and we have a conscience that intuitively allows us to feel and know the goings on around us and even better can warn us of danger and bewares or false activity’s and our conscience is our guide..because we are connected to GOD……HE created us..HE PROMISED US THAT HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE US..that is why we are creative beings—..when i read the bible it comes alive—meaning???–before i start i ask the HOLY SPIRIT to guide me…that is what GOD wants us to do..so no other lying spirit can fool me…and when i read the bible i hear just one voice–not literally– but i silently hear one voice and not just mens’ written ideas….the scriptures that i did not understand…..now i do and they MAKE SENSE TO ME…i came across a passage in the bible that said ”””if i GOD” is teaching you …then whom is better….no one –HOLY SPIRIT,,,i am not perfect and far from it but i believe in GOD…you begin to see with spiritual eyes—meaning??? you see beyond the material and realize the full meaning of earthly matters and what GOD has been telling in the bible to be true…..there is so much to learn and understand—the church’s don’t teach all that they should…and another fact—-the miracles that do happen and even science cannot explain??? science deals in material matters and not in spiritual happenings…but they are beginning to branch out?? GOD says in the bible ””there is nothing NEW under the sun…HE KNOWS ALL ..i laugh when i hear people telling us ”how GOD thinks”” we are such small beings in a great space….just looking at the birth of a baby and all that’s involved is miraculous.. we do no evolve…..HE knows the number of hairs on our heads..and who we really are inside…..its tough the road to heaven and we …need JESUS CHRIST — he is our salvation +++ u think we can do this on our own steam — hahahahah— no way.
Nice rhetoric, Linn…empty though it is. Again, I’m asking where the proof is. Your mindless gibberish is impressive (although you could use a few grammar lessons), but it still doesn’t answer the question.
HI JAMES—-you have answered just intuitively as i imagined—what you want is the short way to the divine power of GOD…..you know –”’-WHERE;S THE PROOF”’— that will be between you and the LORD— i once asked for the knowledge that Eliahj had—-within 2 weeks — i gave it back–i was shown and realized that i was not mind and soul ready—-”MEANING”– i had to go thru more living and experience of life –before — i was even ready to take the steps of Eliahj—and that my dear man cannot be explained or proven—you have to live it???it is a hard explanation to say on how you or a person who truly believes in GOD and CHRIST—has to prepare for the extra-extraordinaire that wants to be bestowed on himself—–KNOWLEDGE—IS POWER—-BUT FOR THE WILL OF GOD….it is to be used for the will of GOD… and not for ourselves..and that my dear brother is hard—you have to be ready and solid as a rock—right thru the neurons straight thru to the tissues….[[get it]]….whomever GOD chooses .. and is ready–i admire him or her tremendously….the battles fought and won — and that is just to get to first base….are tricky and you must be grounded in CHRIST. – are you with me JAMES.??? AND THANKYOU for the hidden compliment—mindless gibberish–very good– it is really ”’spiritual food”’. from the soul.
Please pardon the mindless gibberish comment. What I meant to infer is that your grammar, punctuation and syntax are terrible. In addition to making your narratives difficult to read, it leaves me with the impression that I am trying to reason with someone who is…well, uneducated. Since that isn’t really possible, I think the conversation has effectively come to its termination point.
-I don’t recall Oral being all that outspoken on the subject. In fact the only time I can recall him mentioning it when I was a student there was in chapel when he noted that people like to call it “an alternate lifestyle” but then noted that alternate does not necessarily imply that something is acceptable. It was more Jerry Falwell, James Robison and Jimmy Swaggart that were the most outspoken. Regarding Ronnie, the initial reports were that he committed suicide as a result of his addiction to drugs which came about in Viet Nam. That’s what the suicide note implied anyway. The claim that he was suicidal is a recent claim and I suspect is apocryphal. As to Roberta (Randy’s mother), I think she needs to reread Revelation 21 in context. Going back to chapter 17, the passage is a polemic recording the abuses in Nero’s cabinet and echoes those recorded in Seutonius’ biography. There was indeed homosexuality, pedophilia, bestiality and child torture going on behind the scenes and Nero, the ultimate hypocrite, went to extremes to conceal it. Thus the term “Liar” or one with a hypocritical lifestyle in Revelation 21. The passage is not thus stating emphatically that all homosexuals go to hell. Most of them, I suspect, are victims of people such as Nero, Jerry Sandusky and others..
Hi James—termination point !—well said–we are heading that way..GOD BLESS AND TAKE CARE.
Right-wing evangelical christians scare the living daylights out of me, and I´m a lutheran myself! We were out here to love and respect each other, not condemn and hate your fellow man!
I don’t know how or why I happened to be on this website, but once I was, I couldn’t help reading the comments. To Linn: I will go along with you when you say the Bible was written by men chosen by God. I’ll even let you assert that these men where filled with the Holy Spirit. But, (and it’s a big But) These inspired men wrote the various books in their own language, e.g., Hebrew. None of the books were written in English. The translators were men hired by the Church. I will not let you assert that they too were inspired. The fact is that many of the translations can be and would be translated in different words and phrases by different men. Then there is the whole issue of how organized religion ‘decides’ how to interpret the Bible. With regard to homosexuality, there is so much interpretation of Leviticus, for example, that it is downright wrong. To claim a ban on homosexuality based on these interpretation does not make sense. Even Jesus would be the first to say, “Hey, if you’re going to use the Bible to justify bigotry, at least get the interpretation correct.”
DID YOU REALLY HATE YOUR GRANDFATHER THAT MUCH RANDY TO GO AGAINST EVERYTHING YOU WERE RAISED WITH..WHAT A COWARDS WAY OUT NOT TO BE ABLE TO LIVE THE LIFE…MAYBE YOU SHOULD REREAD YOUR CHILDRENS BIBLE OF ADAN AND EVE.
DonsterNYC You are so correct when you speak of the translations. There are words in some languages that do not translate.Also the first Bibles were hand copied by regular people and we do make mistakes. And anyone who was coping a Bible and had an axe to grind could add what ever they chose. I cannot live without my belief in God and my friendship with Jesus, but we need to use the intelligence God gave us. People who have not had the oppurtunity to learn of Jesus will also be in heaven if they live a good life. Jesus is not the only way. Many roads into a city and many means of transportation and so is the way to God
JAMES SIMMONS, What you meant to “imply” is correct. An inference is a conclusion.
Randy Potts—what a fine young man. God bless you in all your endeavours and in your upcoming (?) marriage.
Here’s a guy that chose to live as a heterosexual, fathering three children, then for whatever reason (possibly on the advice of his agent) chose to declare himself homosexual, and in the future might choose to return to his heterosexual lifestyle, yet some people here maintain that sexuality is not a choice. How odd! This is exactly how psychological denial works. It lets you ignore facts that are right in front of your face.