Perry suspends presidential campaign

Posted on 11 Sep 2015 at 5:06pm

Former governor and former presidential candidate Rick Perry.

Jesus has told Rick Perry to suspend his campaign for president, and Rick is listening, according to NPR.

Speaking at the Eagle Forum conference today in Missouri, the former governor of Texas said: “When I gave my life to Christ, I said, ‘Your ways are greater than my ways. Your will superior to mine.’ Today I submit that His will remains a mystery, but some things have become clear. That is why today I am suspending my campaign for the presidency of the United States.”

I wish Jesus would have spoken up earlier and talked to Rick about not running for governor. Ever. Anyway.

Perry has had trouble getting any traction since Day 1 in this, his second presidential campaign. He is at or near the bottom of a very crowded field of candidates — Donald Trump, frighteningly enough, leads the pack — and he was forced to stop paying staffers last month.

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