Please, Texas Legislature, please literally get out of my private life

Posted on 28 Apr 2015 at 1:48pm

11053437_10203727216931427_7578301496571722454_oAllow me to vent.

Oh my God, y’all.

I can’t stand it anymore.

The Texas Legislature won’t get out of my private life.

No, really.

I mean, I can’t get away from them.

Just a few weeks ago I went into the fucking grocery store and thought I saw Sen. Don Huffines. I get back to my apartment and see the damned Huffines car dealership logo on every other neighbor’s car.

When trying to escape the freshman senator’s clutches I drive past the Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine and the UNT Health Science Center in Fort Worth and think about Rep. J.D. Sheffield., an osteopath. As I crack open a beer, hoping to escape the freshman Dallas senator’s clutches, I then swear I see Sen. Bob Hall! (Well, OK, I’m bound to see him if I’m watching The Walking Dead.) Just last week, I said “Jane Nelson Mandela” instead of “Nelson Mandela.” Those two are NOT the same, folks. I see Dennis Bonnen in the wildest of places – well, ok, I really don’t have a problem with that.

Sometimes in all my insomnia and delirium, I ask myself “what would Lois Kolkhorst do?”

To which I imagine she’ll say, “Have a life.”

Sine die, folks.

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