Sex in the city

Posted on 14 Jul 2011 at 8:06pm
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TALK DIRTY TO ME | Three of the four creators of ‘Bedpost Confessions,’ including Sadie Smythe, far left, are bisexual, giving a ‘pansexual’ bent to many of the sexy admissions.

‘Bedpost Confessions’ moves sex talk from the closet into Oak Cliff

RICH LOPEZ  | Staff Writer
lopez@dallasvoice.com

What would you do if your friend admitted to  being a prostitute? Or if your sister talked about having sex outside of her marriage with a 21-year-old virgin? Sexual talk outside of the bedroom can still be taboo, even in today’s desensitized world of fast hookups and Showtime melodramas. Bring up intercourse (or something far more intense), and most people will cringe or shy away.

Not Sadie Smythe. She says that such fear stems from shame, and she’s on a quest to change that.

“We do it because there’s this puritanical mindset pervading our culture,” Smythe says. “We want to start a conversation about sex and sexuality. It’s a pleasurable experience for people and that’s part of why we do it.”

Smythe is co-creator of the Austin-based show Bedpost Confessions, a sort of Vagina Monologues series of admissions and detailed sexual experiences featuring a roster of participants. Bedposts’ first- ever performance outside of Austin comes to Oak Cliff July 21.

“I thought Dallas should be our first stop as a good jumping off point,” says Smythe, a Dallas native. “Depending on how many people show up, we’ll be in the upstairs room at the Kessler. That’s such a great place and right in the middle of all that cool stuff.”

She could be surprised. Although current RSVPs are modest, if it plays out like her first show, that could change dramatically. Smythe expected about 20 people to Confessions’ debut and 60 showed up, crammed into a small space. Now the monthly event brings in close to 400 people — all there to talk about (and listen to others talk about) sex. With such a growth, the show plans for events in San Francisco and Boston.

Does that mean America is ready to shout out their sexcapades to the masses? Smythe hopes so.

“The more sex is taboo the more shame that surrounds it. I see that as a problem,” she says. “My feeling is that kids have a hard time understanding what sex and sexuality is about. Parents don’t feel comfortable because of the shame so kids go into their formative sexual years inadvertently hurting each other. Shame creates harm and we aim to take that harm out of the picture. So we just talk about it.”

She describes Confessions as pansexual because all perspectives are reflected and embraced. Local performer Roy G. Bivs is a gay man who talks about a time in Japan when he partook in prostitution to pay the bills. Smythe, who is bisexual, has publicly discussed her open marriage in her book Open All the Way. She’ll “confess” to her 21-year- old virginal conquest.

“My mother will be at this show so she’s gonna get an earful,“ Smythe laughs. “But it’s educational. That’s part of the beauty of it. Confessions takes you out of your own experience and other people can encourage flight.”
The audience can even confess their own sins, er … “experiences.”

“The hallmark of the show is the confessions,” she says. “Although we highly curate these shows and make sure they are smart, funny and entertaining we add an element of interaction that’s unpredictable.”

Those that go to a Confessions show are given a card to come clean about that which gets them off. Without names, the cards are read aloud during the show. (A sampling are on the show’s website.) Smythe says there’s a cathartic element to opening up.

“The audience notes are usually funny, but it also unifies the group as they all engage in it,” she says. “Sometimes they’ll even inspire discussion and ultimately, it’s a really fun and sexy show.”

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 15, 2011.

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