‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’ targets the gay community … even though its Mormon creator favors anti-gay author

Two things — well, three really — about the new Twilight Saga entry, Eclipse. First, my review will be in the paper this week, so look for it. That’s kinda the third thing.

Second, when perusing the press site for the film, I came upon these two photos. Look carefully at Taylor; now look at Robert; they are actually the same picture, taken from a scene from the film. The only difference — other than the fact that, once you look closely, you can see how it was Photoshopped — is that in one, the girl is missing. Now, she’s in the scene in the movie. So the question is, why was she removed from the photo?

And the answer, according to one person in my office, is clearly: To appeal to the gay community.

Certainly it is convenient for the studio to streamline all the beefcake in one two-shot and omit the woman — which, when I think about it, is probably the only reason most girls go to see these films. (Who likes Bella, anyway?) But I think gay guys want it all conveniently tied up without female distractions, too. And the producers know it.

They also seem to know it insofar as the two directors in competition to helm the adaptations of the last book in the series were gays Gus Van Sant and Bill Condon (Condon got it). But deep down, it’s hard not to feel exploited by the creator.

Which brings us to point No. 3: The author of the books, Stephenie Meyer, is a devout Mormon who had never written so much as a letter to the editor before she became fabulously wealthy with her Twilight series. Some have analyzed the books through the prism of the LDS church, noting the virginal heroine and Edward’s insistence on marriage are conservative religious principals. Meyer has denied it.

What she hasn’t denied is being a fan of Mormon sci-fi author Orson Scott Card. Card is a virulently anti-gay bigot (which, if you saw the documentary 8: The Mormon Proposition, is par for the course for that cult). Last year, he joined the board of the anti-gay National Organization for Marriage and has said no one can claim to be gay and a Mormon.

Now, I see these movies for free as part of my job (plus I have a well-documented crush on Taylor Lautner). But it makes you wonder: Does Meyer agree with Card’s view on homosexuality? Does she have as much contempt for her gay fans as Card seems to?

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

Who will direct the next 'Twilight' movie? Why not me?

Lautner

Many film series keep their tone, and their success, by hiring the same directors for multiple installments. It makes sense: The directors know the process, know the actors, know the plot and characters. It is efficient. Spielberg has helmed all four Indiana Jones movies; Terence Young did three of the first four Bond films; Chris Columbus launched the first two installments in the Harry Potter series, and now David Yates is finishing up the last four.

Not Twilight.

Four movies — five if they end of breaking the final film into a two-parter — and four different directors, it’s looking like: Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade (for the upcoming Eclipse) and … well, that’s the question. None of the prior three can be called “acclaimed hitmakers” … at least not at the same time. Hardwicke made the indie Thirteen; Weitz directed About a Boy… but also The Golden Compass (a film series that never was, nor should be); Slade’s best known film is about vampires in the arctic.

Worst yet, none of them are gay.

See, Twilight needs to be directed by a gay man. Personally, I think the films are MISERABLE, AWFUL affairs, but I watch them because of *sigh* Taylor Lautner. My preoccupation with him is no secret. But don’t translate that into appreciation for these movies.

Well, maybe the producers are finally on to something. Word has it that two gay male directors — both of whom have actual Oscar cred — have been approached for the final film (or films): Gus Van Sant (Oscar nominee for Milk and Good Will Hunting) and Bill Condon (director of Dreamgirls, Oscar winner for writing Gods & Monsters). Also in the mix is honorary gay man Sofia Coppola who (gag!) also has an Oscar.

This is a good start. But it’s not necessary. Since the movies are shitty anyway, why spend that kind of dough on A-listers? You haven’t so far. Give it to me. I haven’t read the books, meaning I haven’t drunk the Kool-Aid. I know what’s wrong with the movies, so I’ll steer clear. I know how to make Taylor Lautner *sigh* look hot. And I’ll work cheap … like, if you let me share a trailer with one of the now-18-or-over stars who shall remain nameless (and shirtless). Why go classy now?

I’m sure I can work something out with my boss. You have my number.

—  Arnold Wayne Jones