We received a booklet produced by a man named Robert Brandon Sandor, who runs a website called Poz4Poz.com, which supports a new “age of enlightenment” in HIV prevention. The self-published booklet, called The Essential Sex Venue Etiquette and Resource Guide, is basically a primer for conduct at bath houses. I imagine the pamphlet could be useful for you men entering the sex scene, but I was most drawn to a category called “Cruising Techniques.” It’s interesting to see the gay mating ritual deconstructed the way Sandor does it. Here is an edited version of his techniques (check out especially his last bit of advice):
The Look — Simply make and maintain eye contact for a longer period than usual.
The Brush Past — If someone you are interested in is standing in the hall or other public area, you could walk past and lightly brush your hand against [his] upper leg, arm or chest. If he follows — enjoy!
1, 2, 3, Turn — This is pretty much the same as cruising in the bars or on the street. As you walk [past the man you are interested in] count to three and turn to look back over your shoulder. Is he looking back at you? If he is, you can do a number of things: Stop and lean against the wall, signal for him to follow you, change direction and follow him or go into a room and have fun. Word of caution: As you are looking back, be careful not to walk into a wall or trip down a flight of stairs.