Gun Barrel City mayor stops police harassment at gay bar

GarlowsEmployees of Garlows, a gay bar located on Cedar Creek Lake about 60 miles southeast of Dallas, said police surveillance of the bar had been going on for several weeks before a number of patrons were stopped by police on April 5. Several were arrested for DUI. The bar’s owner was arrested for public intoxication while he was walking home.

Retired Dallas Voice reporter David Webb reported:

On April 5, following a drag show at the gay bar, patrons leaving the bar met as many as five squad cars sitting outside of the bar. Drivers who failed to signal whether they were turning left or right were stopped, according to sources at the scene. Several DUI arrests were made. One squad car followed the operator of the bar as he attempted to walk home and and handcuffed and jailed him on a charge of public intoxication, allegedly without testing him for intoxication.

Gun Barrel City mayor Paul Eaton told Webb surveillance would end immediately, saying he acted as soon as he heard about it.

Cedar Creek Lake has been home to LGBT retirees and weekend home owners for several decades. Garlows, in GBC, is the second gay bar in the area. Also, Celebration Church on the Lake, founded with help from Celebration Church in Fort Worth, has a large LGBT membership and is located in nearby Mabank.

David’s full report is here.

 

—  David Taffet

Dallas Voice contributor subpoenaed to testify at hearing on gag order against Joey Dauben

David Webb

A Navarro County district judge has issued a subpoena for Dallas Voice contributor David Webb to testify at a hearing this week on whether to impose a gag order against Ellis County Observer Publisher Joey Dauben, who faces charges of child sex abuse.

Webb has reported extensively on Dauben’s case for Dallas Voice, including a column on our Viewpoints page last week and a follow-up article on Instant Tea on Friday. Webb said he received the subpoena Monday for the hearing at 2 p.m. Wednesday in Corsicana, before Judge James Lagomarsino of the 13th District Court.

According to Webb,  Lagomarsino and District Attorney R. Lowell Thompson conferred Sunday and advised Dauben’s attorney that a hearing on the gag order had been scheduled. In a text message forwarded to Instant Tea by Webb, Dauben lamented that the gag order would prevent him from using “the forum that has aided not just me, but others in their legal and political fights.”

“The gag order won’t apply to readers, fans or supporters,” Dauben added. “I couldn’t say anything about my two criminal cases anyway, so the gag order will be on top of what my lawyers restrict anyway, but one cannot see this as anything other than another way to silence me.”

—  John Wright

OUT on the street

Homeless LGBT youth in Dallas often turn to drugs, prostitution if social workers don’t find them first — and advocates say they need the community’s help


DAVID WEBB  |  Contributing Writer

Every weekend a hunt takes place on the streets of Dallas for some of society’s most vulnerable members, and their fate often depends upon who finds them first, according to social workers who note that LGBT youth are homeless at twice the rate of the general youth population.

The homeless young people under pursuit by both social workers and others whose motives are suspect — often sinister — tend to blend into the scene.

That makes the youths, who typically dress like average teenagers, difficult to identify and to engage in conversation, which is the first step in gaining their confidence and initiating sustained contact.

The young homeless population differs substantially from their older counterparts because they are unlikely to be found sleeping in homeless shelters, under bridges, in parks and the like. Their youth often affords them the opportunity to spend the night with relatives, friends and acquaintances, which is why “sofa surfing” has become popular to describe their nomadic lifestyle.

HUNTING THE HOMELESS | Promise House case managers Benjamin Williams, center, and Jessica Amspoker talk to Terry Fisher, a homeless man, on Cedar Springs last month. Promise House provides temporary emergency shelter for young homeless people, and Amspoker and Williams say older homeless people are often the best source of information about where to find youths on the streets. (David Webb/Dallas Voice)

HUNTING THE HOMELESS | Promise House case managers Benjamin Williams, center, and Jessica Amspoker talk to Terry Fisher, a homeless man, on Cedar Springs last month. Promise House provides temporary emergency shelter for young homeless people, and Amspoker and Williams say older homeless people are often the best source of information about where to find youths on the streets. (David Webb/Dallas Voice)

The youths often are distrustful of older people who approach them on the street because they quickly learn there are criminal-minded individuals circulating, whose motives sometimes mirror the real life horrors of primetime television crime dramas. Dallas is a city of beautiful skyscrapers with bright colorful lights beckoning visitors, but it also has a vast, ugly underbelly harboring drug trafficking, prostitution, pornography productions and every other type of vice imaginable to which young people can become prey.

Amie McNamara, interim director at Youth First Texas in Dallas, said her organization provides a safe place for all LGBT youths to meet and receive counseling and reliable support from peers. It also works to counteract the harmful influences homeless young people encounter when they leave their homes, she said.

“Gay, lesbian and transgender youths have a much harder time,” McNamara said. “They tend to get kicked out more.”

Sometimes, they leave home on their own because the conditions there are deplorable or abusive, according to social workers.

Once away from the protection of responsible adults, homeless youths face big challenges to survive, and if they are LGBT the challenges often are greater because of anti-gay discrimination and feelings of inferiority, McNamara said. They often make bad choices because of the absence of authority figures to guide them, she added.

“They feel they sometimes have no choice but to get involved in the sex trade,” McNamara said. “Their need is so great it is easy for them to get involved with an adult who has ulterior motives.”

Often the adult simply offers to allow the homeless youth a meal and a sofa to sleep on, but the youth soon learns there are “strings attached,” said McNamara, adding she could think of a dozen who are depending on the generosity of friends or others for shelter. If the youth is at least 17, no laws apparently are being broken in the sex-for-shelter scenario because that is the age of legal consent, and presumably some people are sincere in their offers to help, without expectations of something in return.

Youth First Texas arranged a telephone interview with one youth who is homeless and 18. His name is being withheld because of his age and vulnerability, and the name Ricky is being used to protect his identity. He offered to allow the use of his name, which may be reflective of immature thinking that fails to take into account that he might feel differently about such public exposure when he’s older.

Ricky has been homeless since he was 15, when his mother kicked him out of the house because he declared he was gay. His mother threatened to kick him out in a text message while he was at school, and when he arrived home he found the locks had been changed.

“She was like, ‘If you are not going to abide by rules, get out,’” Ricky said. “I thought she was joking. I didn’t know where to go or who to call. All I could do was sit there and cry.”

Ricky said his mother wanted him to hide his sexual orientation rather than coming out. Had he dropped the subject and remained closeted, he could have stayed, he said.

“She wanted to pretend like it never happened,” said Ricky, who noted he couldn’t accept those terms. “It’s my life.”

Since then Ricky, whose father is a truck driver who has no permanent residence because he is on the road all the time, has alternated living with friends and other relatives. He now lives with a sister, and his father pays Ricky’s share of the rent so he can go to high school, where he’s a junior.

Ricky said homelessness disrupted his life, causing him to get involved with alcohol, drugs and prostitution while he was staying with a female friend who had older friends. Those older friends introduced him to behavior he now regrets, said Ricky, who also got a tattoo and a face-piercing during that period of apparent rebellion.

Ricky failed a grade in high school because of the situation, and he is now a year behind in graduating.

“I bounced around from home to home after I was kicked out,” said Ricky, who hopes to get a part-time job, graduate from high school, go to college and become a high school teacher specializing in theater. “It has ripped a hole in my family.”

Ironically, Ricky’s mother has come out as a lesbian and lives with another woman. He now suspects her fears about her own sexual orientation caused her to be unreasonably harsh with him.

“I wouldn’t want to live with her now, but she hasn’t offered to let me,” said Ricky, who notes he considers the leaders and other youth at Youth First Texas to be his family now.

Ricky’s plight has become all too common in today’s society, which seems to be mostly unaware of the problems. Every year a new generation of ages out of foster care and the juvenile justice system, and an estimated 50 percent wind up homeless within six months because they aren’t prepared for independent living.

GETTING THEM BACK ON TRAC | Jerry Sullivan, assistant director for the Transition Resource Action Center, which provides transitional housing, said at one point in the last year two-thirds of the youth TRAC was serving were LGBT. (John Wright/Dallas Voice)

GETTING THEM BACK ON TRAC | Jerry Sullivan, assistant director for the Transition Resource Action Center, which provides transitional housing, said at one point in the last year two-thirds of the youth TRAC was serving were LGBT. (John Wright/Dallas Voice)

The nation’s estimated 1.7 million homeless and runaway youths come from all socio-economic backgrounds and cultures, and it is estimated that 20 percent of them are LGBT, according to statistics compiled by the National Coalition for the Homeless. In comparison, the number of LGBT youths in the general youth population is estimated at only 10 percent, according to the Washington, D.C.-based group.

“If you are an LGBT youth, you are twice as likely to be homeless as teens in the general population,” said Mike Faenza, president and CEO of the Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance.  “Anything that causes additional challenges to individuals — stress, stigma, discrimination and other psychological factors — also impact and present barriers to stability within the family.”

Faenza noted that all homeless people tend tobecome victims of crime at higher rates, but young people who don’t have the guidance of concerned adults are especially vulnerable.

“They are exposed to people preying on them and exploiting them,” Faenza said. “They come into contact with people offering to help them, but they actually are just using them sexually. There are serious risks to kids who are homeless, and it is escalated for kids that have challenges or are traumatized because they are struggling to come out.”

Ricky represents the type of youth that social workers such as Benjamin Williams and Jessica Amspoker want to meet and help before they get involved in self-destructive lifestyles. They are case managers involved in street outreach for Dallas-based Promise House.

Williams and Amspoker hit the streets on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights looking for youth who need help. The pair regularly visits the Cedar Springs entertainment district in Oak Lawn, as well as places like the Greyhound and DART stations in downtown Dallas.

On the streets Williams and Amspoker offer youths protection at Promise House, which provides temporary emergency shelter for young homeless people to help them get back in school, get jobs or even join the military.  The social workers travel as a team because the work can be dangerous in that the youths they approach might be under observation by pimps or drug traffickers.

Amspoker said young people who are homeless and need help are difficult to track and approach. Most don’t realize there are resources such as Youth First Texas and other homeless assistance programs available to help them, she said.

“Every day is different,” Amspoker said. “We’re talking about a transient community. It’s a lifestyle where they have to stay on the move. Where they are staying last week may not be where they are this week.”

Williams said homeless youths are often deceptively average looking because they “don’t look homeless.”

“These young people are still going to want to be presentable and impress people,” Williams said. “They understand appearances are everything.”

Many still have cell phones because their parents will continue to pay the bills so they can remain in contact with them, Williams said. Curiously, the parents say they are comforted to know their children are “still alive,” apparently unmindful of the other hazards of life on the street, he said.

Williams said they make many of their connections with young people by handing out cards with information about Promise House to everyone they see. Older homeless people will sometimes tip them to where they can locate homeless young people, he said.

“We try to build a reputation by being at places at regular times,” Williams said. “They eventually learn they can trust us.”

Once contact is made with homeless youths, emergency shelter is provided at Promise House if they want it. Sometimes, a homeless youth will call them later to say they have decided to take advantage of the help being offered them.

COUNTING THE KIDS | Mike Faenza, president and CEO of the Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance, said there’s never been a good count of the homeless young people in Dallas, but he hopes results from a survey in January will remedy that. (David Webb/Dallas Voice)

COUNTING THE KIDS | Mike Faenza, president and CEO of the Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance, said there’s never been a good count of the homeless young people in Dallas, but he hopes results from a survey in January will remedy that. (David Webb/Dallas Voice)

If the homeless youths are LGBT, Williams and Amspoker will refer them to Youth First Texas for counseling and support.

When a youth enters Promise House, which can temporarily house 20 people ages 10 to 17 and eight people ages 18 to 21 at a time, every individual is first offered a meal and a shower, said Sonja Parkhill, an outreach manager. The staff has worked with a transgender individual more than once who has wanted help finding a place to live, she noted.

“Some of them wind up on the streets again,” Parkhill said. “They go to another place, and they don’t make it there and go back on the streets. Sometimes, they call us and ask if they can come back. Unless they’ve done something that prevents it, they can come back.”

One of the resources for homeless young people is the City Square Transition Resource Action Center, or TRAC, which provides transitional housing for homeless people struggling to become stable. In one program, individuals of the same sex who are moving toward employment or full-time schooling are temporarily provided a private bedroom in a three-bedroom apartment and food. In another program the individual is provided with their own one-bedroom apartment for which a Section 8 voucher temporarily pays for a portion of the rent based on their income. The organization also manages a permanent housing program for disabled people.

Jerry Sullivan, assistant director for TRAC, said the organization is a safe place for minorities, including LGBT people. He also noted that the majority of young people becoming homeless appear to be those who are aging out of foster care.

“In the youth we see on a daily basis that identify as LGBT I do think the national statistics play out locally,” Sullivan said. “At one point in the last year we noticed that two-thirds of the youth we were serving were LGBT, but that’s not always the case.”

Sullivan noted he met with Resource Center Dallas officials recently to share information about what resources his organization has available for homeless LGBT youth. Referrals are welcome, he said.
“There’s a fair amount of resources,” said Sullivan.

Cece Cox, executive director and CEO of Resource Center Dallas, said it’s clear that the number of homeless LGBT youth is disproportionate to the general population of youth, and the organization is dedicated to working with TRAC, Promise House, Youth First Texas and Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance to address the issue. More attention needs to be raised about the problem of homelessness among LGBT youth, she said.

Over the years Resource Center Dallas leaders have provided cultural competency training to law enforcement personnel, Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission agents and others who might come into contact with homeless LGBT youth, Cox said. But there needs to be more education about LGBT youth and their increased risks of becoming homeless, she said.

“There hasn’t been a voice in the past, and we’re bringing that issue to the table,” Cox said. “If Dallas is addressing homelessness, they certainly need to include the issue of LGBT youth.”

Faenza, of Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance, said there has never before been a good count of the homeless young people in Dallas, but he hopes the one that occurred in late January will remedy that. The documentation is needed to get more resources dedicated to young people, he said.

“We’re trying to develop political will,” said Faenza, who has been involved in social work for more than three decades. “We need to do more for kids.”

Faenza said there are many ways that the LGBT community can get involved in helping homeless LGBT youth. Anyone who is aware of a homeless LGBT youth should refer them to any of the agencies working with homeless youths.

People can also get involved by becoming educated about the issue and volunteering to help with advocacy, Faenza said. Speakers are available to attend gatherings such as small receptions to discuss the issue, he said.
For people who have the room and time to give, temporary housing is also needed for youths, Faenza said.

“We need help,” Faenza said. “We need people to get involved. That would be wonderful, and there is a world of things that can be done. We would love to talk with anyone who is interested in helping.”

………………………………………………………

Homeless youth resources

• Youth First Texas
214-879-0400
www.youthfirsttexas.org

• Promise House
214-941-8578
www.promisehouse.org

• City Square TRAC
214-370-9300
www.citysquare.org/TRAC

• Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance
972-638-5600
www.mdhadallas.org

• North Texas Youth Connection
800-568-7776
www.ntxyouthconnection.org

• City House, Plano
972-424-4626
www.cityhouse.org

………………………………………………………….

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition February 17, 2012.

—  Michael Stephens

St. Luke belongs on list of gay-affirming Methodist churches

Article on lawsuit raises questions about whether predominantly African-American congregations are subject to different standards

Editor’s Note: The number of gay-affirming Methodist churches in our Feb. 10 article was based on an online database maintained by GayChurch.org.

Steward-HaroldIn a Feb. 10 article in Dallas Voice describing a lawsuit filed against the St. Luke “Community” United Methodist Church and our recently resigned senior pastor, Tyrone Gordon, contributing writer David Webb distinguished St. Luke from the “six gay-affirming Methodist churches in the Dallas area” and stated that the “congregation includes some LGBT members.”

Although Webb’s statements were an attempt to illustrate St. Luke as gay accessible, his comments unintentionally reduced the congregation’s track record of fighting for human rights, social justice and inclusion.

As a member of St. Luke for nearly six years and as an active member of the LGBT community, this causes me to question the required actions needed in order to deem a church “gay affirming” — especially in light of St. Luke’s efforts not only for the liberation of its gay members, but for all sexual minorities within the state of Texas.

A core value of the St. Luke “Community” United Methodist Church is to be an advocate and a prophetic voice in the community for all oppressed peoples. Although the membership is largely African American and heterosexual, homosexuals are included the churches understanding of “Community.”

In my opinion, St. Luke has not only served as a place for spiritual development, but also as a safe haven for members of the African-American LGBT community.

It was not uncommon for Pastor Gordon to clarify God’s inclusion of gays in his lineage within his sermons. Gordon has preached sermons where he stated, “Gay or straight, you’re a child of God,” and, “The church needs gay fish and straight fish.” Gordon even facilitated the removal of a member of the St. Luke ministerial team a few years ago when she preached a very homophobic sermon. But these statements of gay Christian identity and affirmation and creating a safe space for sexual minorities didn’t start with Pastor Gordon.

His predecessor, Pastor Zan Wesley Holmes, described by Webb as a “a respected civil rights leader,”  was also known to preach of and create an environment of inclusion. Additionally, Pastor Holmes was an avid supporter of the passage of hate crimes legislation in Texas,  a position that he has stated he took not only because of the crimes committed against racial minorities but also because of those committed because of one’s sexual identity. Holmes’ support and work with State Rep. Helen Giddings, a St. Luke member, led to the church being vandalized in 2001.

The St. Luke church, under the leadership of Pastor Holmes, was also a forerunner against the fight of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Dallas. As an early responder, the church created care teams to provide aid and services to people living with HIV and AIDS and made it a point not to discriminate against the gay men who were disproportionately affected by the epidemic.

And this list does not include the very personal actions that Pastors Holmes and Gordon have taken to provide pastoral care to St. Luke’s LGBT membership, myself included.

Since the only requirement detailed for something to be considered “gay affirming” is to affirm gays, I wonder how only six local United Methodist Churches acquired that designation — or are there other requirements needed in order to gain membership into the sisterhood? And are the inclusionary practices of St. Luke not a valid source of gay affirmation?

But more importantly, who gets to decide what levels of affirmation are needed even for consideration and are African American’s  and other people of color left out of that conversation? Surely that has been the case on other issues related to the wants and needs of the overall gay community, such as things like marriage equality.

For me, my spirituality is based on my individual relationship with my higher power and in that same vein, I believe individuals determined how their spiritual institutes affirm them based on individual desire and need and multiple local United Methodist institutes (more than six) can potentially offer that. But if the very well documented gay affirming actions of the St. Luke “Community” United Church does not position it to be a source of affirmation for sexual minorities, then we are working off of a broken metric system — and it is our work to create an evaluation and reworking of that structure.

The St. Luke Community United Methodist Church has and continues to be a prophetic voice for all oppressed people. That is partially the reason many gay notables such as Dennis Coleman, executive director of Equality Texas, continue to call it their church home. And every

Sunday when we proclaim through song that “we are the church that reaches up to God and out to everyone,” take it from me, gays are included.

Harold Steward is artistic director of Fahari Arts Insitute and editor in chief of BlaqOut Dallas. He can be contacted at info@blaqoutdallas.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition February 17, 2012.

—  Kevin Thomas

Lawsuit accuses St. Luke pastor of homosexual harassment

Minister at iconic black Methodist church in Dallas steps down amid allegations he coerced young men

gordon.tyrone

The Rev. Tyrone D. Gordon

DAVID WEBB  |  Contributing Writer
davidwaynewebb@hotmail.com

A lawsuit filed against St. Luke Community United Methodist Church in Dallas and its former senior pastor, the Rev. Tyrone D. Gordon, portrays the pastoral office of the predominantly African-American church in Southeast Dallas as a hotbed of homosexual harassment.

St. Luke, with 5,000 members, is one of the largest African-American churches in the North Texas Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church, which is also named as a defendant in the lawsuit. St. Luke isn’t one of the six gay-affirming Methodist churches in the Dallas area, but its congregation includes some LGBT members.

The Rev. Zan Holmes, who preceded Gordon’s appointment in 2002 as senior pastor at St. Luke, is a respected civil rights leader. The church is known as a center for community activism, and it has attracted prominent members such as Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price and former Dallas Mayor Ron Kirk, a U.S. trade representative appointed by President Barack Obama.

Thus far, church leaders at St. Luke and the North Texas Conference have remained silent about the lawsuit, as has Gordon, who announced his resignation as senior pastor from St. Luke in January to take effect on Wednesday, Feb. 15. On that date Holmes, who has also kept silent, will return as interim minister.

W. Earl Bledsoe, the bishop of the North Texas Conference, released a statement at the time of the resignation noting Gordon gave up his credentials during the investigation of complaints lodged against him by St. Luke church members.

The Rev. Eric Folkerth, pastor of the gay-affirmative Northaven United Methodist Church in Dallas, said in a telephone interview this week that his reaction to the news of the lawsuit was one of “deep sadness and sorrow.” Folkerth said he hopes the controversy will be viewed as a “sexual abuse of authority,” rather than in terms of the sexual orientation involved.

“I am hoping, praying and trusting that hopefully all of this will be dealt with appropriately in the church and in the legal system,” Folkerth said.

383353_522792772938_100700518_30237696_880837177_n

The Rev. Cameron Greer

The Rev. Cameron Jerrod Greer, 26, who is a graduate student at SMU’s Perkins School of Theology and a pastor ministering at Cockrell Hill United Methodist Church, alleges in the lawsuit, filed on Feb. 3 in 101st District Court in Dallas, that Gordon, 53, sexually harassed him and several other young male members of the church for at least seven years.

In the petition filed by Dallas attorney and St. Luke church member Marilynn Mayse, Greer alleges that in 2003 and 2004, beginning when Greer was 18, Gordon rubbed his penis up against Greer’s buttocks on more than one occasion in front of four other young men who appeared to regard the activity as “normal behavior.”

In another instance, Greer alleges he observed a young man wiping sweat off of Gordon’s body as the pastor stood in his underwear with his pants lowered. Greer, who worked as an audiovisual technician at St. Luke, alleges in the lawsuit that he observed numerous instances of inappropriate behavior by Gordon involving young men.

The incidents often occurred in Gordon’s church office and sometimes between two Sunday services, according to the lawsuit.

Greer also alleges that Gordon invited him to his home in August 2004 when the pastor’s wife was out of town to discuss the young man’s plans to become a Methodist minister. Gordon allegedly prepared one of Greer’s favorite meals, spaghetti, and invited the young man to watch a movie with him. While sitting on the sofa Gordon allegedly moved closer to Greer but was interrupted by the arrival of one of Gordon’s two daughters.

In two other alleged incidents in 2009 and 2010, Greer claims in the lawsuit that, while he was serving as a pastor at First United Methodist Church in Seagoville, he visited Gordon at St. Luke, where Gordon insisted on hugging him and rubbed his penis against him. Greer adds in the petition that he asked Gordon to be a guest preacher at the Seagoville church, and Gordon implied that Greer would have to do “something” for him in return.

The lawsuit alleges that St. Luke church leaders had been informed about complaints of sexual misconduct and sexual harassment made by church employees and members against Gordon as early as 2006, but they took no action. It also claims that church leaders failed to protect Greer and other young men from Gordon’s alleged harassment.

In the lawsuit, Greer explains his delay in lodging complaints against Gordon as part of a process that was required to address the “issues” and to begin a “quest toward healing.”

The lawsuit, which accuses church officials of breach of duties, claims Greer has suffered “severe emotional distress, mental pain and suffering, and adverse physical consequences, physical pain and suffering.” It seeks unspecified punitive damages.

The lawsuit describes Gordon as a “predator” who used his spiritual authority to “coerce certain young male members and employees” into “sexual acts and relationships for his own personal sexual gratification.”

Gordon, who was born in Los Angeles, received a bachelor’s degree from Bishop College in Dallas, and he did his graduate work at Fuller

Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif. He came to St. Luke as senior pastor after serving as senior pastor of St. Mark United Methodist Church in Wichita, Kan.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition February 10, 2012.

—  Kevin Thomas

So what if being gay IS a choice?

Despite some activists’ outrage over actress Cynthia Nixon’s recent comments, it doesn’t really matter how we became LGBT

David Webb
The Rare Reporter

After four decades of watching people struggle to keep up with the politically correct standard of the day in discussing LGBT life, I’m beginning to think it’s time for everyone to relax a little.

I reached that decision this week when I read about activists getting in an uproar over Cynthia Nixon, an actress who starred in Sex and the City, telling the New York Times Magazine she preferred being gay to straight because she had lived both types of lives. Her remarks created a furor among those who demand we frame all of our speech in a way they think best advances the LGBT rights movement. A few days later Nixon softened her stance in a Daily Beast interview by saying she was a bisexual by no choice of her own, presumably in an effort to quell the controversy.

Frankly, Nixon’s first remarks in the New York Times Magazine article made sense to me, and so did her later remarks about believing she never made a conscious decision to be a bisexual. It’s just that I regretted she felt compelled to revise what she had said earlier to appease her critics. I got what she meant the first time without her follow-up explanation, and I imagine most other enlightened people did as well.

Cynthia Nixon
Cynthia Nixon

Nixon, who gave birth to two children with a male partner, probably did make a choice to live a gay life when she became sexually involved with a woman. If someone is attracted to both the opposite and the same sex, there probably does come a point when the individual might need to make a choice in terms of permanent or semi-permanent partnership.
Certainly Nixon ought to be the best judge of what happened in her own life, so what’s wrong with her telling the truth as she sees it?

Nixon noted correctly that many LGBT activists shudder every time they hear the word “choice,” “preference” or “lifestyle” because they fear it supports conservative religious arguments that homosexuality is a perversion practiced by degenerates who get their kicks out of being wicked. As the theory goes, that gives credence to the evangelists’ claims that bisexuality, homosexuality and gender variance can be cured by the administration of a good dose of Bible verse in quantities sufficient enough to scare the holy bejesus out of the sinner.

As we all know, that doesn’t work. Actually, even most straight people realize that won’t work because most of them have also suffered the wrath of the evangelical community in condemnation of some aspect of their lives, such as the urge to masturbate or engage in sexual activity before marriage. In reality, the only ones who truly believe a pack of Bible thumpers can transform a person’s sexual orientation are people who are lying about it, have been brainwashed into believing it or are just too ignorant to understand scientific research.

Decades of scientific evidence make it clear that every aspect of a person’s physical and mental makeup — which certainly includes sexual orientation — comes about as a result of heritable genes and the impact of sex hormones on the brain and other body parts of the developing fetus.

In his 2011 book Gay, Straight and the Reason Why, neuroscientist Simon LeVay outlines decades of scientific studies that all point to the same conclusion: In essence, people are what nature made them.

LeVay, who served on the faculties of Harvard Medical School and the Salk Institute for Biological Studies, has pointed this out in various articles and books he has authored over the years. The results of a scientific study LeVay published in Science in 1991 showing marked differences in the brain structures of gay and straight men is credited with helping spur the two-decade wave of scientific research aimed at determining a biological basis for sexual orientation.

What the body of scientific evidence does for most reasonable people is confirm what common sense had already told them. There’s just no way certain people with obvious mental and physical characteristics could have been anything other than what they became — namely gay, lesbian or transgender.

With others in the LGBT community it’s a little trickier because they display either few or none of the obvious characteristics identifying them as anything other than straight. Environment might have played some role in their development, but again the scientific evidence points to biological factors. What’s more the individuals usually report experiencing feelings since their earliest recollections that set them apart from heterosexual people.

Still, the unpredictability of humans makes it impossible to categorize all people. Some members of the community undoubtedly did feel an attraction to the LGBT lifestyle and chose to embrace it for that reason. The very size and the diversity of the world’s LGBT community is so staggering that if we come across some people who are merely practicing free will, it shouldn’t be so surprising.

That’s why I liked Nixon’s earlier remarks that it didn’t matter how people came to be a part of the LGBT community. As she said, it doesn’t matter how each and every person got here, and words will never sway the opinions of bigots and opportunists. It will require life experiences — such as coming to realize they have a child or grandchild who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender — to hopefully educate them about the realities of life.

David Webb is a veteran journalist who has reported on LGBT issues for three decades for the mainstream and alternative media. He can be reached at davidwaynewebb@hotmail.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition February 3, 2012.

—  Michael Stephens

Mayor’s misstep on marriage pledge shows how far we’ve come

Laura Miller, who became LGBT icon, opposed gay unions during 1st campaign 10 years ago

David-Webb

DAVID WEBB  |  The Rare Reporter

The signing of a pledge in support of same-sex marriage by some 80 mayors attending the U.S. Conference of Mayors’ recent meeting in Washington, D.C, represents a powerful, almost astounding stride in the LGBT community’s march to equality.

Only one big-city mayor created a controversy by refusing to sign the pledge, and that unfortunately was Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings, who probably regrets the decision now.

His decision not to sign the pledge — even though he later claimed he personally supports marriage equality — set off a bone-jolting controversy in Dallas as LGBT activists reacted to the news.

Rawlings cancelled a planned appearance at a neighborhood meeting because of activists’ plans to demonstrate against him, and all of the city’s newspapers and television stations began covering the story. The Dallas Morning News, which is infamous for its conservative takes on many progressive measures, praised Rawlings for resisting pressure to sign the pledge.

As a result of Rawlings thwarting activists’ plans to confront him at the neighborhood meeting, GetEQUAL scheduled a “Sign the Pledge” rally at City Hall.

There was a time when LGBT activists would have given the mayor a pass on the marriage equality issue, but that has long since passed. In declining to sign the pledge, Rawlings used the excuse that he was practicing a policy of avoiding social issues unrelated to city government.

That excuse had previously worked for former Dallas Mayor Laura Miller when she chose not to address the issue of marriage equality. At the same time, she managed to achieve something close to sainthood in the eyes of Dallas’ LGBT community because of her support of a nondiscrimination ordinance addressing sexual orientation and gender identity passed in 2002.

When Miller first campaigned for mayor she and all of her opponents declared in a candidate’s forum that they opposed same-sex marriage, but they all declared support for the nondiscrimination ordinance. That apparently was enough at the time to gain the trust and support of LGBT activists, especially after it was learned she had a gay uncle and a lesbian stepsister she loved and supported.

Miller, who served as mayor from 2002 to 2007, later gave more support to the LGBT community’s pursuit of marriage equality by speaking out against Texas’ constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage that voters approved in 2005. She also began supporting marriage equality during her speeches at Dallas’ glittering Black Tie Dinner.

Today, Miller says that she “supports gay marriage 100 percent,” and she adds that “it will be legal nationwide sooner than later. Young people today don’t give it a second thought and support it fully.”

As the mother of two daughters and one son, Miller knows her stuff. She declined to comment on Rawlings’ decision not to sign the pledge, but it’s a pretty good bet that if Miller were in his shoes today she would have signed that pledge — policy or no policy.

Rawlings made a terrible error in judgment when he refused to sign the pledge along with the mayors of other big cities such as New York City, Los Angeles, Washington, D.C., San Francisco, Seattle, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Boston, San Diego, Portland, Denver and the list goes on and on. What’s worse, Texas mayors from Austin, Houston and San Antonio signed the pledge.

If Rawlings had simply signed the pledge, it likely would have been reported by the Dallas media, there would have been a few stones thrown at him by conservative conscientious objectors and then it would have been forgotten. But now, it will continue to rage as a full-scale controversy for an undetermined amount of time.

At this point it seems like the best course of action for Rawlings to take would be to just sign the pledge, seeing as how he is already on record as supporting marriage equality. That action might stir up resentment among conservative constituents, but at least it would put Rawlings on the winning side of the debate.

The fact of the matter is that marriage equality will indeed one day be the law of the land, no matter how much that irks those who would prevent it if they could.

David Webb is a veteran journalist who has covered LGBT issues for the mainstream and alternative media for three decades. E-mail him at davidwaynewebb@hotmail.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition January 27, 2012.

—  Kevin Thomas

Saying goodbye to Friends

Nationally known Cedar Creek Lake bar closes after 15 years

Friends-001

BUSINESS DRIES UP | Owner Leo Bartlett said low lake levels caused by the ongoing drought resulted in fewer visitors to the area, forcing him to shut down his club for good. (David Webb/Dallas Voice)

DAVID WEBB  |  Contributing Writer
davidwaynewebb@yahoo.com

GUN BARREL CITY — For 15 years Friends was the little gay bar that did it all in the most unlikely of settings, but it came to a sad end just before Christmas.
Friends owner Leo Bartlett sent out a message on Facebook Dec. 20 saying he was closing the iconic gay bar, and he never unlocked the doors for business again. Situated in the middle of one of the most conservative areas of the state, the humble little private club had featured charity drag shows and raised many tens of thousands of dollars — benefiting homeless animals, the elderly, the poor and HIV patients — for years.

Known not only throughout Texas but literally around the world, Friends often saw visitors from far away who had read or heard about the bar. Reporters for major mainstream U.S. newspapers like the Washington Post contacted the bar’s management for comments on LGBT issues. In 2007, Out magazine named Friends one of the top 50 gay bars in the world, saying the atmosphere was the friendliest in the state, the fish tank was filled with well water and the drag queens’ hairdos tended to be big, much like they were.

In a clever complement to the drag shows, a local theater group known as Friends Players put on variety shows that were well attended by the lake’s gay and straight residents alike. The entire cast, including performers in full drag, traveled down the road to the American Legion Club a couple of times each year to put on performances.

But now, the music, acting, dancing and laughing are just memories for Bartlett, who opened the bar door late one afternoon this month to allow a few customers to retrieve several pieces of personal property. The walls that once were covered with pictures of bewigged drag queens wearing tiaras are now bare.

“It’s all over,” Bartlett said as he stood in the sunlight flowing through the open door into the dark bar. “I said my goodbyes on Facebook. It’s all there to read. I’ve thanked everyone. There’s really nothing else to say.”

Bartlett said sending out the Facebook message was painful for him, and he didn’t want to have one last party in the bar to mark its closing, although many former customers had hoped he would.

Bartlett.Leo

Leo Bartlett

“It would just be a funeral for me,” said Bartlett, who noted the bar’s net revenue had been on the decline for about three years, just as with many other lake businesses. “I didn’t see any point in that. I’ve already said my goodbyes.”
Bartlett said economic conditions on the lake led to Friend’s closing, and he didn’t blame it on the competition from a new gay bar, Garlow’s, that opened nearby two years ago.

He disputed the popular opinion among some members of the lake’s LGBT community that there weren’t enough customers on the lake for two gay bars, and that the newer, more attractive Garlow’s had stolen his customers.

“There were enough customers,” Bartlett said. “There just wasn’t enough participation. If you talk to the owners of the straight bars, you will hear the same thing from them. Everybody is having trouble.”

The lake has a sizable LGBT community made up of retirees, Dallas commuters and natives, but many just don’t enjoy the bar scene. The gay and lesbian population increases greatly on weekends, holidays and during the summers when LGBT second-home owners are in residence, but many of them also prefer not to go out to the nightclubs.

Last summer’s drought — which caused the lake to drop almost 8 feet, leaving boat docks sitting in sand and beaches where water once stood — finished Friends off, Bartlett said. People avoided the lake, and that made all of the lake’s businesses suffer, resulting in several businesses shutting down in 2011, he said.

“It was time for me to close,” said Bartlett, who also separated this year from his longtime life partner who had helped him run the bar. “It was 15 good years. That’s what is important.”

For many customers though, the closing has left a void, and some seem almost resentful about it. Many of Bartlett’s customers would not go to Garlow’s out of loyalty to Friends, but others who went to both bars are also disappointed. And some who didn’t go to Friends at all also expressed dismay.

Friends’ closing is a loss to the lake’s LGBT community, said Troy Luethe, who with his life partner owns a bed and breakfast in nearby Ben Wheeler. The couple once participated in the Friends Players productions and visited the bar socially as well.

“I think it is sad,” Luethe said. “I never like to see a business fail, and it was part of the history of the area and held a lot of memories for me and others.”

For Jennie Morris, another former member of Friends Players, it is more personal. She also went there socially to meet with her friends.

“I feel like I lost a good friend, really, and one of my major connections to the community,” Morris said. “As a member of Friends Players it has left a pretty big hole there, too.

Friends was my Cheers, I guess — a place where everybody knows your name. Friends was safe, comfortable and like an old flannel shirt — just home.”

Several former customers of Friends declined to comment for the story, saying they had mixed emotions. Some people complained that Bartlett ran the bar too much like a nonprofit organization rather than a business, and blamed its closing on that.

Michael Slingerland, owner of Garlow’s, said he was shocked when he first heard about Bartlett announcing the closing of Friends. Slingerland formerly worked part time at Friends as a bartender before opening his own business, which appears to be doing well.

“We’ve talked about it a lot here,” Slingerland said. “It’s really sad.”

Slingerland said he had hoped for a cooperative effort between the two bars that would have helped both prosper, but that never happened.

“We could have helped each other out a lot,” said Slingerland, who envisioned back-and-forth traffic between the two clubs.
Regardless of what factors led to the closing of Friends, it is now a reality that the bar is gone for good. Although Bartlett has said he has no plans to return to his nativeArkansas, he is exploring other options for his future life in the Cedar Creek area.

“I’m thinking about a number of things,” said Bartlett, who acknowledged being a “hermit” since he announced the closing.

In the meantime Bartlett has listed the building for sale or lease with a gay Cedar Creek Lake real estate agent. The ad might run something like this: “Little private club with an unusually intriguing past available for new operator and members.”

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition January 20, 2012.

—  Kevin Thomas

The show goes on

Partners in life and in business, Darryl Allara and Ken Freehill travel the world staging theatrical productions for the Army. And they have seen a difference since the end of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’

Inside-3

OUT ON BASE | Partners Ken Freehill and Darryl Allara have never hidden their sexual orientation or the fact that they are a couple from the military officials with whom they work. But the repeal of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ has made things less tense in many military communities, they say. (Photo Courtesy Darryl Allara and Ken Freehill)

David Webb  |  Contributing Writer
davidwaynewebb@yahoo.com

The end of “don’t ask, don’t tell” was a long time in coming — not only for the estimated 65,000 gays and lesbians serving in the U.S. Armed Services, but also for others engaged in little-known, supportive roles for active-duty personnel.

Dallas show business couple Darryl Allara and Ken Freehill, who tour the globe as civilian contractors for U.S. Army Entertainment, were as relieved as anyone else last fall when President Barack Obama officially recognized the end of the 18-year-old discriminatory policy. The life partners quietly cheered the Department of Defense memo released Sept. 20 lifting the ban on homosexuality, knowing it would provide a new sense of freedom for both them and the gay and lesbian soldiers they encounter on military installations.

“I think that in the communities we’ve been in, things are less tense,” said Freehill during an interview at their East Dallas home recently while the couple took a holiday break from 202 days on the road in 2011.

“I think maybe those people in the past who may have felt reluctant to talk to us now feel more comfortable in approaching us,” he added.

At the military installations Allara and Freehill visit, there are ample opportunities for one-on-one conversations with soldiers. Both men are judges for the U.S. Army’s Festival of Arts, and in a separate contractual project they stage Murder 101, an interactive comedy tailored to each base using soldiers and their family members and base civilian employees as actors.

“When we walk into a room, there is so much enthusiasm from everyone,” said Freehill, who has 30 years of experience as a director, producer, writer and actor and currently performs in one-man plays locally.

In staging the murder mystery dinner theater productions, the couple meets with volunteers who are interested in performing, assigns them roles, conducts rehearsals, markets the production, directs the shows and appears in the performances — all in one week’s time. It’s a  challenging task with a taxing schedule that they’ve mastered and carried out for 10 years now.

“We’ve been very mission-oriented, bringing theater to where it doesn’t exist,” said Allara, who received a U.S. Army scholarship that led to a degree in theatrical producing and directing after he ended a tour as a medic in Vietnam in 1969.

“By the time the week is over it looks like we’ve been working with them for a month,” Allara said.

Before the ban was lifted, it was a complex situation for Allara and Freehill, who in their roles entertaining, training and evaluating soldiers and their families weren’t subject to the provisions of the military prohibition on being openly gay. They wanted to be honest about themselves, yet not detract from the mission of their work.

“I did feel the policy had to be respected, because we never wanted to put a soldier in an awkward position, and we never wanted to cause anyone to be uncomfortable,” Allara said. “Our whole mission is to bring joy to everyone.”

Even so, the couple knew people would figure out they weren’t the rank-and-file type of civilian workers that soldiers expect to see on military bases, Allara noted.

“We have never encountered overt discrimination,” Allara said. “By the same token, we have never hidden who we are. It’s not a subject we initiate, but we’ve had soldiers talk to us about it.”

Freehill said that during 2011 while the Pentagon implemented the repeal of DADT and conducted related training for military personnel the couple traveled to 37 military installations for 50 events on three continents. They completed their work without experiencing any of the types of discriminatory incidents many naysayers warned would happen in the military if Congress lifted the ban, he said.

“People figure out in short order we’re a couple, and not just a theatrical partnership,” said Freehill, who points out they have been a couple for 32 years. “They see us together. We don’t make a big deal out of it. But they aren’t dumb.”

Freehill said they have always been careful not to give anyone the wrong impression.

“We are not on the make, and we don’t give that vibe off,” Freehill said. “Everyone feels secure. We are never alone with anyone.”

Allara said his experiences with the military have, for the most part, always been positive and no more discriminatory than in any other walk of life.

As a helicopter medic in Vietnam, he got his first taste of show business when he produced theatrical shows for fellow soldiers using what he had learned at a base playhouse during basic training at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio.

“For lack of a better word it was a M*A*S*H unit, and I was my unit’s Radar O’Reilly,” said Allara, who noted he “screamed all the way” when he was forced to abandon his company clerk duties and fly in the helicopters to combat zones.

Allara said that deplorable conditions in Vietnam inspired him to take on the staging of a show and probably encouraged fellow soldiers to welcome it.

For one show he requisitioned six jeeps and drivers for the use of their headlights in a theatrical production. A stage was fashioned out of an old flatbed truck.

“We had a terrible morale problem,” Allara said. “We were looking for diversion. We needed to find a way to bond everyone together.”

Rather than getting court-martialed for the jeep stunt as he feared might happen, Allara’s amateur shows, including Sorry Wrong Number, brought him praise and requests for productions at other locations, including a production of Stop the World; I Want to Get Off.

Those efforts eventually led to his Army-sponsored scholarship to theatrical school in San Diego.

Allara said it is ironic that his theatrical work in the Army led to his lifelong career because he had no interest in theater in high school. The U.S. military has sponsored entertainment programs for personnel since World War II, and most bases had theatrical playhouses before television viewing became the most popular form of entertainment.

“When I was drafted I had no thoughts about theater at all,” Allara said. “I was picked on as a kid, and standing in front of people performing was the last thing I wanted to do.”

Later, Allara attended graduate school at the University of Arizona where Freehill was an undergraduate, but they never met. Oddly, they discovered later they had participated on a theatrical production at the same time, and they have a playbill with both of their names listed to verify it.

The couple later met in Los Angeles on a theatrical production and became lovers. For a while they operated a show business school together before relocating to Dallas, where Freehill took a job as executive director for the Screen Actors Guild.

It was about that time 17 years ago when Allara resumed his association with the military, accepting a job as a traveling second judge for the Army Festival of the Arts, a 40-year-old organization. The senior judge for the organization with whom Allara worked on a Bicentennial show in 1976 sought him out for the position.

“You meet people in life,” Allara said. “They go out of your life and then they come back.”

When about five years later the senior judge retired, Allara knew he didn’t have to look far for a new second judge. The Screen Actors Guild had relocated from Dallas to another city, leaving Freehill without a job.

So he joined the Army, too, so to speak.

About 10 years ago Allara and Freehill began staging their murder mystery productions for the Army. They first had designed and produced the mystery shows in Los Angeles, and they tried them out on military audiences with success.

An early production took place in Fort Campbell, Ky., where they still command great respect from base officials, volunteers and audiences, according to Linda Howle, director of the base recreation center.

“They are amazing, and they are fantastic,” said Howle in a telephone interview. “They are very creative. Every time I have them here they do a wonderful job, and when they come back it is always an even better performance.”

Allara said one of the reasons that he and Freehill enjoy so much respect from military officials is that they have a reputation for making sure the show will go on, no matter what. Their sexual orientation seems to have mattered little, if any at all, to Army officials in charge of military entertainment.

“They know they have two theater specialists they can send anywhere in the world,” Allara said.

About 15 years ago, Allara said, he met with a commanding officer who wanted to hire him, and he told the official about his relationship with Freehill.

“I knew they were rounding up soldiers and prosecuting them,” Allara said. “I told him I didn’t want it to bite him in the ass later. He thanked me for telling him.”

Allara said one of the reasons he and Freehill work together well as a romantic and a professional couple is that it is also economically advantageous to them. The Army pays them a flat fee for their work, from which all expenses must be deducted, and the arrangement of staying together on trips allows them to save money.

“We are able to keep rates really low for the Army because we share accommodations,” Allara said.

Fees for Allara’s and Freehill’s contracts come from discretionary funds raised by the Army from ticket sales and other enterprise activity, not from tax dollars, according to the show business couple.

The couple said the only hint of discrimination they ever felt during their travels for the military was when hotel staff asked if they wouldn’t prefer separate beds or rooms. Although they’ve never lost a military contract because of their sexual orientation, they did lose a couple in Los Angeles years ago because of it, they said.

“Discrimination is everywhere,” Allara said.  “It doesn’t have to be in the military.”

Allara said that as a combat veteran he sees the greatest benefit of the new policy to gay and lesbian soldiers to be the security of being part or a team, not the advantage of freedom of expression and social acceptance.

“They now will be able to serve their country without worrying about their backs in addition to the enemy in front of them,” Allara said.

For Allara and Freehill, life will continue much as it has for the past decade, together night and day except for when they are out of town on separate judging assignments. It seems natural to wonder whether they might enjoy the occasional break from each other’s company, but that is apparently not the case.

“It’s lonely,” Freehill said. “I admit it. We usually can’t wait to get home to be in each other’s company.”

Allara said that they often debate many subjects related to their work, but they always agree on how they feel about returning home to the company of the best audience anyone could have — the three dogs they rescued.

“It’s like dying and going to heaven for us,” Allara said.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition January 13, 2012.

—  Kevin Thomas

Drunken driving takes especially deadly toll during the holidays

Threat even greater for LGBTs, who have higher rates of alcohol abuse

Momentum is building for the last blast of the 2011 holiday season, but not everyone should count on waking up safe and sound in their own bed on New Year’s Day with the traditional celebratory hangover.

The more fortunate partygoers will find themselves on an old friend’s sofa, in bed with a new friend or even in a jail cell with a bunch of strangers. But the less lucky won’t be waking up at all because they will be part of the year’s statistics on impaired driving fatalities.

That’s why U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood said he kicked off a nationwide crackdown on impaired driving on Dec. 13 in an attempt to remind Americans they risk killing others or themselves if they get behind the wheel drunk or stoned.

Impaired driving fatality statistics for 2010 released by the Department of Transportation’s National Highway Traffic Safety Administration showed a decrease in many states in comparison to the previous year, but 10,228, or one-third, of the fatalities on American highways still involved intoxication.

David-Webb

David Webb The Rare Reporter

The fatality statistics spiked during the second half of December, when drinking traditionally becomes more prevalent apparently because of holiday parties. The U.S. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reported that 40 percent of traffic deaths during the Christmas and New Year’s Eve holidays involved drunken driving.

The risk increases during the holidays because it is a time when many people uncharacteristically drink to excess and take on one of the characteristics of what is known as hardcore drunken driving.

Hardcore drunken driving refers to anyone who gets behind the wheel with a blood-alcohol account of 0.15 or above, does so repeatedly and is resistant to changing that behavior. For the past decade, fatality statistics show that 70 percent of impaired drivers responsible for the deaths had a blood-alcohol account of 0.15 or higher.

It is an issue of particular concern to the LGBT community because many studies have shown a high incidence of alcohol and drug abuse among its members.

In connection with the national anti-drunken driving campaign that carries the slogan, “Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over,” alcohol awareness educators are warning revelers to understand how beer, wine and liquor affect the human body.  Many occasional and frequent drinkers apparently harbor misconceptions about the effects of alcohol.

Alcohol impairs coordination, driving skills, reflex time and judgment long before the drinker or anyone else notices signs of intoxication, and it can spark aggression that makes the driver more dangerous on the road.

Even after an individual quits drinking, alcohol in the stomach continues to enter the bloodstream and affect the brain for hours. Coffee or other caffeine drinks do not reduce the effects of alcohol and do not make the impaired driver any safer. Only time can counteract the detrimental effects of alcohol.

Educators advise party-goers to take a cab or to designate someone to drive who isn’t drinking. Otherwise, anyone planning to get behind the wheel should not have any more than one alcoholic drink per hour, and it would be a good idea for every other drink to be nonalcoholic.

No one should rely on someone else to monitor and take care of then on New Year’s Eve or any other holiday party. No matter whether the reveler is at a private party or a nightclub, the person in charge may be far too busy to notice the drinker is impaired.

The bottom line is that many citizens who typically would not dream of breaking the law risk doing exactly that if they drink to excess and try to drive themselves home. The legal limit is 0.08 in most states these days, and that only amounts to two or three drinks for many people.

Others who have problems with alcohol and other drugs should seek help before they get behind the wheel again and risk the lives of themselves and others.

Anyone who drives drunk this New Year’s Eve risks getting arrested, being jailed, bonding out of jail, hiring a lawyer, going to court, possibly going back to jail, serving probation and making huge financial expenditures. It is estimated that a drunken driving charge costs about $20,000 when all of the expenses — including increased insurance costs —are tallied.

That is the risk if the drunken driver is lucky and doesn’t have an accident resulting in an injury or fatality. In a worse-case scenario, there won’t ever never be an end to the anguish and devastation affecting everyone involved.

That’s cause enough not to ever go there in the first place.

David Webb is a veteran journalist who has reported on LGBT issues for the mainstream and alternative media for three decades. E-mail him at davidwaynewebb@hotmail.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition December 30, 2011.

—  Kevin Thomas