Sunday TV drinking games for your viewing pleasure

Looking20152This Sunday is chock full of LGBT-favorite TV entertainment. Trying to figure out which one to watch? Our Mikey Rox has devised this drinking game that makes it all the more fun. Choose the game that looks the best for you … of DVR it all and enter rehab on Monday!

The Golden Globes (NBC, 7 p.m.). Take a sip of beer or wine when: 1. Hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler change gowns. 2. Music is cued to hurry a lengthy acceptance speech that by that point is probably spilling over into soapbox territory anyway. 3. A winner recognizes his or her same-sex partner by name. Take a shot when: 1. A presenter and/or winner appears visibly drunk or high on stage; the likelihood of this will increase exponentially as each hour passes. Or if Sean Young is invited.  2. An acceptance speech turns into a political speech about freedom of speech. You’ll probably want to pick up a big bottle of tequila this year. 3. North Korea and Sony are mentioned in the same sentence.

Girls (HBO, 8 p.m.). Take a sip of beer or wine when: 1. Hannah bears her breasts. 2. Adam mentions his dick. 3. Somebody rides a bike (because nobody has a driver’s license on this show). Take a shot when: 1. Marnie laments about her music career, or sheds a tear. She’s prone to do both; sometimes simultaneously. 2. One of the girls physically hits another. These chicks are violent, yo. 3. Elijah flashes his sweet cheeks.

Looking (HBO, 8:30 p.m, pictured). Take a sip of beer or wine when:  1. You hear the words “top,” “bottom” or “vers.” 2. They refer to social media and/or dating sites and apps. 3. You see butt. Take a shot when: 1. Richie takes it off. 2. Patrick and Kevin get it on. 3. Somebody can’t get it up.

Downton Abbey (PBS, 8 p.m.). Take a sip of beer or wine when: 1. The Dowager Countess throws shade. 2. Thomas Barrow talks smack. 3. Mary acts like a bitch. Take a shot when: 1. A sexual tryst takes place that transcends the class system. 2. A new invention of the era is introduced. 3. A correspondence containing bad news arrives in the second post.

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

The wit and wisdom of Leslie Jordan

IMG_3157In this week’s cover story, I interviewed Leslie Jordan, Del Shores and Emerson Collins about their upcoming appearances in Dallas at both a fundraiser for Al McAffrey and screenings of their film Southern Baptist Sissies. As with most interviews, your subjects say a lot more than you can use in the final story. Most of the time, you just let it go. But when Leslie Jordan is talkin’, there are just too many gems to let them be lost forever.

Here, then, are some of the great comments Leslie made during our talk that I didn’t have room for in the story. Enjoy!

On the scope of his fame: I was performing at the Leicester Square Playhouse in London — you know what’s really popular over there? Sordid Lives! Who knew? Anyway, I was walking down the street at Piccadilly Circus and this cab slows down and the cabbie shouts, “Can you see my pussy now?” Then he took off, laughing! But I got misty eyed. People are screaming my lines at me out of taxicabs — I’m an international star!

On interacting with his co-stars: I was doing a show with an actress who plays one of the maids on Downton Abbey, her name is Siobhan Finneran and she tells me, “Just call be Shiv.” “Shiv?!” I said. “In American, ‘Shiv’ is what they stab people with in prison!”

On his rent-boy obsession: I spent three weeks in Puerto Vallarta [recently]. The best part of being there are the beautiful brown boys who hang out in the square. They’re all married straight boys with children, and all you have to say is, “Do you need a little diaper money?”

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

While we were drinking …

… I mean eating … or rather, sleeping … hell, all those things. 2012 is gone and, as we return to see how it left us, we noticed a few more things disappeared — among them, the fiscal cliff. But also BEE, Monica Greene’s Oak Cliff enchiladeria. Even after her Nueva Cocina closed under still-unknown circumstances, Greene said BEE would continue. That no longer appears to be the case.

Something that will reappear in Dallas is the Bruce Wood Dance Project. Last week, Wood revealed that a third season of his new company would return for two performance arcs (instead of the one that he’d done in 2011 and 2012). There will be an encore of his dance My Brother’s Keeper in March, followed by three world premieres in June. He’ll kick it all off with a salon next week.

We’re also looking forward to the return this Sunday of Downton Abbey, and getting to see evil gay valet Thomas, pictured, stir up more trouble, as Shirley MacLaine joins the cast as Lady Cora’s American mom.

Anyway, there’s a lot more ahead, but welcome to 2013, everyone!

—  Arnold Wayne Jones