Pope jokes: A rundown

11t--st-louis-cardinals-matt-holliday--170-millionI have some very funny Facebook friends.

No, seriously. They are quick-witted. So as soon as word broke that a new pope had been selected, my news feed was inundated with quotable lines. (Note: There’s a genuine history of new pope jokes. When Polish-born John Paul II was elected, I remember, “How do you choose a pope? Take a Pole!”) Here, then, are some of my favorites (starting with my own bit of blasphemy):

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

Death • 09.30.11

Wendy Churitch, 55, died suddenly at her home in Irving early Thursday morning, Sept. 29.

Churitch was born July 26, 1956, and grew up in Chicago. She moved to the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex in 1980.

She was known and much loved for her eccentric and ever-present sense of humor, her love of pranks and practical jokes and for her devotion and loyalty to her family and to her large number of friends that she thought of — and that thought of her — as family.

After seven-and-a-half years as a couple, Churitch and the love of her life, Kay Mathews Churitch, were legally married in Iowa on Aug. 17, 2009.

Churitch was preceded in death by her parents, Helen and Pete Churitch Sr., and by her brother, Michael.

She is survived by her wife, Kay Mathews Churitch of Irving; by her brother, Pete Churitch Jr., and one sister, Robin Littrell, both of Indiana; by her wife’s sister, Erin Urquhart of Coppell, and brother, Robert Mathews of Buda; by her wife’s two daughters, Courtney Mathews of Lubbock and Amber Mathews of Three Rivers, Mich., and three grandchildren, Michael and Jourdan of Mesquite and Makenzie of Lubbock; by her beloved dogs, Bailey and Pala; and by a host of loving friends.

Churitch’s remains will be cremated. A memorial service is pending and details will be announced when they become available.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition September 30, 2011.

—  Michael Stephens

Perfect match

Bob Nunn and Tom Harrover have been a couple for 4 decades. But it wasn’t until a near tragedy that they realized they were truly meant for each other

LIFE GOES ON | Nunn, right, and Harrover stand before a project commissioned for the convention center hotel. Four years ago, Nunn was near death because of kidney disease. (Rich Lopez/Dallas Voice)

RICH LOPEZ  | Staff Writer
lopez@dallasvoice.com

Bob Nunn agrees with the adage that the longer a couple lives together, the more they begin to look alike. Nunn and his partner Tom Harrover might not look that similar on the outside, but they match in a way that few couples do.

Let’s start with some history.

The two have that classic meet-cute that began on the wrong note. As Nunn tells it, Harrover was the dullest person he’d ever met —the two just didn’t like each other. Then, following a spontaneous invitation to a midnight movie, they ended up hitting it off. That movie led to conversation and then dating.

Forty-two years later, they still watch movies — as Nunn puts it, “I couldn’t get rid of him.”

A job in Houston took Nunn away from Harrover for three months, but old-fashioned letter writing kept the newbie relationship afloat.

“Tom had been writing me letters. He’s a very good writer,” Bob boasts. “He basically proposed to me by letter.”

They committed to each other, moving in and pursuing their careers: Harrover in architecture and Nunn teaching art. For 37 years, they lived in “a fabulous house” in Hollywood Heights. Life was good.

Then their life took a sharp turn.

“When we got together, Tom knew I had a kidney disease,” Nunn says. “Nothing was really a problem until about 30 years after we met — my kidneys began to fail and I had to start dialysis.”

Nunn registered with Baylor for the national organ donor list, but the experience was frustrating:  They received little response or encouragement from the hospital.

“Bob was on a downhill slide and the frustration with Baylor seemed like they were stonewalling us,” Harrover says. “We talked about going to Asia even. It felt like they didn’t want to deal with a senior-age gay couple.”

A LITTLE DAB’LL DO YOU | Bob Nunn is officially retired from teaching art, but continues to paint.

Then Harrover suggested something novel: He could donate his kidney to the organ list, with the idea that Nunn could get a healthy one.  Sort of a kidney exchange.

In desperation, they went back to their physician, who enrolled them in St. Paul Hospital’s then-new program for kidney transplant. The experience was a complete turnaround. Nunn was tested and processed immediately while Harrover prepped for his organ donation to an anonymous recipient.

Kidney transplants require a seven-point match system; a minimum of three matches is necessary for the recipient to be able to accept the organ into the body.

The tests revealed that Harrover’s kidney matched Nunn’s on all seven points.

“We assumed I would donate mine for use elsewhere,” Harrover says. “It never occurred to me that we’d be a match. The odds for that are off the charts.”

“See what happens when you live together for so long?” he chuckles.

Just six months after entering St. Paul’s program in 2007, they were on the operating table. They were the first direct living donor pair in the program. “It was all fairly miraculous,” Nunn understates.

Four years later, both men are doing well. Although officially retired, they both continue to work: Harrover does the occasional contract job while Nunn is currently on commission for an art project at the new convention center hotel. Outside of any official work, each interjects their quips about home, life be it cooking together or working on the lawn.

The obvious question for them might be “What’s the secret?” But they don’t see it just that way. Their relationship boils down to the obvious virtues of trust, respect and compromise.

“Selfishness doesn’t rear its ugly head in this relationship,” Harrover says. “You just have to be willing to accommodate, support and encourage what the other is interested in.”

Nunn agrees. “I would not be doing what I’m doing without his support.”

Nunn says if there is a secret, it’s akin to the dynamic on a playground: Like each other and share. If you don’t share your whole life, there isn’t a relationship, he says. At this point, Harrover says it would be impossible to separate. On paper, they are so intertwined with their house and financials, he jokes they are “Siamese twins.”

They’ve witnessed a lot in their decades together, including something they never expected to come to pass in their lifetimes: Same-sex marriage. Coming from a time when just being gay conflicted with moral codes set by their jobs, they wonder over the progress made in recent years. (They were officially married in Boston in October 2009.)

“I’m confident that it will happen for everyone,” Harrover says. “I’m sorry that it’s moving at a glacial pace, but it has that same inevitability as a glacier. We’ll get there.”

But nothing compares to the bond Harrover and Nunn already have, a shared intimacy few couples could imagine. Same-sex marriage was merely unlikely; what they have experienced is miraculous.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 29, 2011.

—  Michael Stephens

What Hysterical Cross-Dressing Jokes Will David Spade Act Out In Adam Sandler’s New Movie?

OH SNAP — David Spade steps out in drag yesterday on the set of Adam Sandler's new family comedy Jack And Jill, co-starring Al Pacino and Katie Holmes.

"Jack and Jill" Showcases Star Power of Spade, Pacino and Holmes
"Jack and Jill" Showcases Star Power of Spade, Pacino and Holmes
"Jack and Jill" Showcases Star Power of Spade, Pacino and Holmes
"Jack and Jill" Showcases Star Power of Spade, Pacino and Holmes
"Jack and Jill" Showcases Star Power of Spade, Pacino and Holmes

[photos: Fame Pictures]


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Maybe We’d Take A Liking To GOProud’s Jimmy LaSalvia If He Told A Few Jokes?

The best way for GOProud to stay in the press is by picking and maintaining fights. With everyone. On the right, it's uber-conservatives like the Family Research Council. On the left, it's reasonable homosexuals. But I much prefer the brand of GOProud that Jimmy LaSalvia, the group's hyper-tanned-and-highlighted executive director, put forth on yesterday's Fox Business Network: funny hacktivists! Listing the groups upset GOProud's involvement with CPAC for the second year in a row, LaSalvia mentions "Concerned Women for America they're very concerned apparently." Zing! More of this, Jimmy. More of this.


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Mary Christmas Carols: Antoine Dodson’s ‘Chimney Intruder’

You might remember Antoine Dodson’s accidental claim to fame when his spirited response on the news was converted into a dance remix and pop culture landmark for 2010. Through no fault of his own, he became an Internet sensation for speaking out loud against the perpetrator who invaded his family’s house and for saving his sister from being a rape victim. But the openly gay Dodson seems to have handled the ups and downs of all the social commentary, jokes and parodies with tremendous charm.

Dodson still has his hustle going, and why not? George Lopez had the world premiere of Dodson’s “Chimney Intruder” last night on Lopez Tonight. Gone are the awkward implications of his reactionary remix. Instead, it’s kind of a train wreck, but still, he made us look … again.

—  Rich Lopez

OFA’s ‘Petition to Nowhere’ on DADT is a joke, and the joke’s on you

And some people wonder why we’ve called on the gay community, and our allies, to stop donating to this increasingly worthless organization.

Organizing for America – formerly Obama for America, but now an arm of the DNC and the White House – just sent out an email to (some of?) their members about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Did the email call on OFA’s twelve million or so members to bombard wavering Senators with phone calls in support of repealing DADT?

No.

So what did OFA’s email provide as an action on DADT? They ask you to sign a public declaration that you stand with the president for the repeal of DADT.

Ooh, that should scare wavering Senators. Not an action alert targeting individual Senators, not an effort to raise money for ads targeting those Senators, but rather, a petition to nobody.

Now, how, you might ask, does a petition to nobody help us pass the DADT compromise? It doesn’t. But OFA’s efforts on DADT aren’t about actually getting DADT repealed. We’ve written about their fake support for our civil rights before. They”re about raising more gay money for the DNC. (Note that after you sign the Petition to Nowhere, you’re sent to a DNC fundraising page.)

The second reason OFA is doing this, they’re scared. Of you. But not nearly scared enough. Rather than actually doing something to help repeal DADT, the president’s henchmen at OFA and the DNC are sending out fake action alerts, that accomplish nothing, in the hopes that you’ll be duped into thinking they’re doing something to help the gays. When they’re really not.

And you could almost forgive OFA for trying to collect more names and email addresses of gay supporters – or even raise money from gay supporters – if OFA had any plans to actually do something, anything, pro-gay, for real, at any time in the future.

Joe and I, for example, are asking folks to sign a public letter to President Obama, that we will deliver to the White House, calling on him to start making some phone calls to wavering Senators about DADT repeal. Note the concrete message, and the concrete action we want. Note the very public way in which we’re trying to pressure the president to act. That’s what effective advocacy is about – doing something that has a concrete, effective goal, and doing it in a way that has a chance at influencing the person you’re going after. OFA’s “alert” doesn’t target anyone. It’s quite literally “the petition to nowhere.”

The Democratic party isn’t interested in helping you get your civil rights. They’re not building this list, and this war chest, in order to help you finally share in the American dream. They’re treating you like an ATM. And a rather mindless ATM at that.

Well this GayTM is closed.




AMERICAblog Gay

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Joel Burns’ speech heard around the world

Joel Burns, left, and partner J.D. Angle

Mayor Annise Parker of Houston once joked, upon becoming the first openly gay person elected mayor of a major U.S. city, that municipal elections in Texas aren’t normally featured on the front page of the Times of India. Now openly gay Fort Worth City Councilman Joel Burns is gaining international notoriety as well.

Since we posted Burns’ “It Gets Better” speech yesterday, it has been featured by outlets including the Huffington Post, Gawker and the UK Guardian. According to YouTube, the video of the speech has as many as 67,554 views.

The Guardian describes Burns’ moving speech and then says, “But written words do not do it justice; watch the video.”

We agree, and we’re glad Burns’ message is getting heard.

—  David Taffet

Montana Tea Party president jokes about murdering gays and Matthew Shepard

In what is literally a stomach turning post, Andy Towle highlights the President of Montana’s Big Sky Tea Party Association’s Facebook comments in support of “traditional” marriage. The comments on his original post turned to jokes about murdering gay people, using the murder of Matthew Shepard as a joke.

Tim Ravndal expressed support for a commenter who (in apparent reference to the Matthew Shepard murder) said, “I think fruits are decorative. Hang up where they can be seen and appreciated. Call Wyoming for display instructions.”

Answered Ravndal: “Where can I get that Wyoming printed instruction manual?”

The original commenter then responds, “Should be able to get info Gazette archives. Maybe even an illustration. Go back a bit over ten years.”

This is bigotry and hatred, plain and simple. As long as laws don’t treat us as equals, ignorant and hate-filled homophobes can continue to broadcast filth like this, feeling validated by our government that we are somehow worth less.




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—  John Wright