Starvoice • 01.06.12

By Jack Fertig


Kate Middleton turns 30 on Monday. The new Duchess of Cambridge married Prince William and the entire world watched. The Royal Wedding was one of the biggest moments of 2011 and Middleton didn’t disappoint. As princess, she seems to be holding her own against the media and in a short time, has become a fashion icon due to her sophisticated fashion sense.



Mars in Virgo quincunx to Eris can make people bitchy and competitive. As the sun aspects those two you can see better how to turn that energy to constructive self-criticism. Mercury conjoining Pluto in Capricorn focuses that energy and raises the stakes.


CAPRICORN  Dec 21-Jan 19
Be very careful with your money. A deal that sounds too good to be true is. Set aside a little for an impulsive indulgence. If you can’t say anything nice, go chat with Virgo.

AQUARIUS  Jan 20-Feb 18
Check out an art show with someone very new and different, or rent the most outré movie you can find. It could inspire a new look, but test it with a trusted friend before taking it public.

PISCES  Feb 19-Mar 19
The deep personal insights you’re gaining should be kept private. Well, mostly. You may find earning power in skills you haven’t appreciated.

ARIES  Mar 20-Apr 19
Getting ahead depends on self-discipline, attention to details and questions of skill. Subtle hints from superiors save a lot of grief. The Golden Rule makes confusion more manageable.

TAURUS  Apr 20-May 20
Worrying about your career doesn’t help, but list concerns and look for answers. “Helpful” friends offer hundreds of ideas. A few are actually good. A relaxing time out helps you restore clarity.

GEMINI  May 21-Jun 20
Sexual frustration is about quality, not quantity. The need for emotional depth and commitment surprises you. If partnered, you’re overdue for a good talk.

CANCER  Jun 21-Jul 22
It’s easy to obsess on minutiae. Clear out garbage and clutter. Your partner or good friend will be glad to help you decide what needs to go. Let a sibling get saddled with the family keepsakes.

LEO  Jul 23-Aug 22
Being sensitive to others helps you get ahead, but keep boundaries clear. Confusion easily feeds into arguments. Keep a critical eye on yourself can fend off trouble.

VIRGO  Aug 23-Sep 22
A mad, passionate fling leaves you spinning and wanting more. It’s not love, so keep your expectations in check. Your wicked tongue is a potent weapon. Be careful where you aim that thing.

LIBRA  Sep 23-Oct 22
Would a tawdry affair make you feel cheap and used? That could be half the fun. Keep your eyes open and your mind clear. If you do get swept off your feet, you will have to pick up the mess.

SCORPIO  Oct 23-Nov 21
Pressure at work is largely in your own head. Plan long-term strategies but they have to be flexible. Burning off energy with some friends will help you from being a pain to your colleagues.

SAGITTARIUS  Nov 22-Dec 20
Do your best work and let it speak for itself. You don’t need to prove anything. When those nagging voices fill your brain, identify where they come from and get rid of them.

Jack Fertig can be reached at 415-864-8302 or

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition January 6, 2012.

—  Michael Stephens

Mama rising

A Southern mom becomes a PFLAG pimp in gay sitcom ‘You Should Meet My Son!’

ANTI MOM | A bigoted mom has a change of heart when she realizes her son is gay, and starts recruiting men for him (including a stripper, Steve Snyder, right) in the DVD release ‘You Should Meet My Son!’

ARNOLD WAYNE JONES  | Life+Style Editor


2.5 out of 5 stars
Joanne McGee, Stewart Carrico, Steve Snyder. 85 mins.
Now available on DVD.


A Southern mom, Mae (Joanne McGee) — more over-the-top than anything Tennessee Williams would have conceived (her Pigeon Forge accent makes Dolly Parton sound like Kate Middleton) — clucks over her single son Brian (Stewart Carrico). Every week for Sunday dinner, she invites him over, trying to set him up with the “right girl.”

But Mom doesn’t seem to notice Brian has a “roommate” who’s as well dressed as he with gelled hair and lots of naked statuary around their restored Victorian house filled with antiques. At least until the roomie “moves out” and Brian becomes inexplicably despondent.

It’s a familiar premise in the traditional gay comedy: The anti-gay parent slowly realizing their son is a poofter, then going through the process of coming to terms with it. There’s the visit to the gay reparative therapist (a Texas redneck who sounds suspiciously like George W.), and the struggles with the Old Testament.

Only in You Should Meet My Son! (which screened earlier this year at OutTakes Dallas), those scenes are over 20 minutes in (a good thing, too — they are weak and clichéd, and played for dumb laughs that never come). Mom, despite her limp-wristed Tinkerbell slurs against “those kind” when talking about her hairdresser, suddenly becomes Sharon Gless from Queer as Folk once she finally figures it out: If her son’s gonna be a sodomite, dammit, she’s gonna find him a man who satisfies him sexually.

Mom becomes her gay son’s pimp.

Writer-director Keith Hartman’s script has a frustrating tendency to veer uncontrollably between farcical camp (think But I’m a Cheerleader or Another Gay Movie) and witty banter (a scene with Brian and one of his mom’s female set-ups has a sassy repartee). When it’s good, it’s a lot of fun.

And it’s good often, especially once Mae and her sister Rose (Carol Goans) go cruising a gay bar on the hunt for Mr. Right, and end up recruiting an ensemble of drag queens, leather daddies and twinks (including a potential love interest played by Steve Snyder). In a twist on The Bird Cage, Mae hosts dinner parties designed to out her family and frighten away the closet cases and homophobes. Think Auntie Mame with male strippers.

Those moments trump the intrusively annoying perky bossa nova-like score — all Austin Powers retro horns and go-go boot silliness — and the inconsistencies in the script, not the least of which is Mae’s magically fluid gaydar. (She couldn’t pick up on obvious clues about her son for 30 years, but eventually, the second she sees a muscle twink in a tank top she instantly pegs him as a bossy bottom and sets about Yenta-izing with the unrelenting determination of Megatron. Mae might seem like a Southern Baptist, but she’s really a Jewish mom.)

The supporting cast does a lot of the heavy lifting, combining beefcake with saucy flamboyance and ease on camera. But even though McGee overplays at first, Mae ultimately endears herself to us, allowing her love for her son to guide her, not her prejudices. It’s a surprisingly heartfelt way to end a silly comedy.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition June 17, 2011.


—  Michael Stephens

George Michael offers Royal Wedding download

Singer George Michael returns to classic form with his latest online offering. He covers Stevie Wonder’s “You and I” specifically as a gift to Prince William and princess-to-be Kate Middleton. But he’s letting us download it for free from his site. I’m never gonna turn down a free song, but Michael hopes that for every download, listeners might contribute to the Prince William & Miss Catherine Middleton Charitable Gift Fund.

The song itself is a crisp, lush cover and brings Michael back from his adventures in auto-tune. He debuted the song last week on Piers Morgan Tonight.

I just wonder if the royal couple will dance to it at the wedding.

—  Rich Lopez