- Never let a vomit-prone roommate pass out while lying on his or her back.
- There is a perfect time to use the turtle shells in Super Mario Kart. It can’t be taught — it must be felt in the bones.
- Paper towel rolls stuffed with dryer sheers are great for muffling smoke. You know, for, uhm — candles.
- 1:16 AM? MUST. HAVE. CHEESE. CALZONE. NOW!
Some of this writer’s greatest life lessons came from the freshman dorm. Glad to see that legacy is alive in well in the institutional housing on America’s campuses: