The growing problem of workplace bullying

Phyllis Guest
Taking Notes

Bullying isn’t just confined to teens; adults in the workplace are targeted, too

I recently met a remarkable woman who has a lot to say about a kind of adult bullying that hits straights as well as LGBTS, that hurts men as well as women, that harms older and less connected workers the most, and that is so pervasive it’s called “The Silent Epidemic.”

Esque Walker, who lives in Corsicana and drove up to Dallas recently to give a Saturday morning presentation on workplace bullying, has an undergraduate degree in health information management, a masters in healthcare/health information management and a doctorate in public policy and administration.

She also has a score of certifications and areas of expertise.

She has been working diligently for the passage of the Texas Healthy Workplace Bill, authored by Dr. David Yamada of the Workplace Bullying Institute. It’s hard going, as you can imagine.

So far, Dr. Walker has been unable to even get a meeting with Gov. Rick Perry. Perhaps he is too busy campaigning. More likely, if his many aides have put her name and credentials before him, he has retreated into his good-hairyness.

Remember: He scraped through Texas A&M with Ds; she has a Ph.D.

But the governor is not the only impediment to getting this bill in place. So far, Dr. Walker and her associates have spoken with a great many Texas state senators and representatives. Not one has agreed to sponsor the bill.

Dr. Walker was herself the target of workplace bullying some years ago. But instead of simply taking the abuse — as most women and many men have done over the years — she aligned herself with others who understood the issues involved.

So, what are the issues?

To begin, Dr. Walker asserts that adult bullying is based on the bully’s need for power and control. It’s closely linked with competitiveness; the bully may resent the target’s appearance, education, personality or any number of facets of the other person’s being. He or she definitely does not want the target to advance.

So how do you know you are targeted, assuming the bully does not actually taunt or threaten you, as happens so often to children and teens?

You start with power disparity; the bully may have a higher status, longer tenure or perhaps corporate protectors to give him or her a sense of strength.

Then you look at four other criteria: repetition, duration, intensity and escalation.

Workplace bullying, says Dr. Walker, usually plays out in a predictable way. First, the bully criticizes you or gets someone above you in the pecking order to do so. Next, the bully involves others, usually four to six people who may see you as a threat or just want to curry favor with the boss.

Then, no matter what you do, it is not enough or not good enough, and coworkers are not allowed to “help” you. Eventually you are fired — after being told, “You are not a team player.”
Here’s how it looks by the numbers:

• 62 percent of bullies are men (who may bully other men, straight women or, of course, LGBTs).

• 58 percent of targets are women.

• 18 percent of adult suicides in the European Union are attributed to workplace bullying.

• An estimated 1 million Texans are bullied at work every year.

As the economy has worsened, pushing out older workers has become the norm; counselors report the escalation, although putting a number to the pain is virtually impossible.
So what to do if you are the target?

First, document everything, with specifics of person, time, place and comment or event. Second, do not go to your organization’s human resources person or department; HR works for the company and could care less about you.

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission or your union representative — if applicable — can help; the latter may be especially important in education and medicine, where power disparities and bullying are common.

The Workplace Bullying Institute (WorkPlaceBullying.org) publishes a newsletter and other materials that can offer insight plus specifics. The Dallas Public Library has books by Gary Namie and Ruth Namie, Ph.D.’s known for their groundbreaking research and writing on workplace “jerks, weasels and snakes.”

And of course Out & Equal has done and continues doing great work on behalf of our community.

Final thoughts: The worst that can happen is that Texas will continue to allow vast amounts of cruelty in offices, factories, fields and stores. The best that could happen is that our next Legislature will pass the Healthy Workplace Bill, recognizing the problem, mandating anti-bullying education, and allowing victims to sue.

Meanwhile, if a workplace bully is making you frightened and depressed, find a counselor in whom you can confide. And don’t wait ’til tomorrow. Do it today.

Phyllis Guest is a longtime activist on political and LGBT issues and is a member of Stonewall Democrats of Dallas.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition November 18, 2011.

—  Michael Stephens

How to tell if you are middle aged

From the Lingerie Football League on one end to lesbian separatism on the other, some of us that are left stuck here in the middle get a bit annoyed with those on the ends

LESLIE ROBINSON | General Gayety

Ever heard of the Lingerie Football League? It’s a women’s football league where the women wear helmets, shoulder pads, bras, panties and garters. Billed as “true fantasy football,” the teams have names like the Los Angeles Temptation and the Dallas Desire.

If this league catered any more to men there would be cigars at halftime.

But I didn’t learn about the Lingerie Football League from a guy; I learned about it while visiting a lesbian website.

The site, TheSeattleLesbian.com, provided Lingerie League information and videos on its sports page.

That in turn provided me with a reminder of my age, a keen sense of where I am on the spectrum of lesbian thinking — and a headache.

I don’t react well when lesbians view women in the bootylicious way many men do. Maybe it’s because I’m 47 and remember how women fought to be viewed as more than tits and ass.

Now to see lesbians encourage the ogling of women, to watch them match men drool for drool — well, that feels like a step backwards.

However, as I’m 47 and not dead, I’m mindful of the sentiments of a younger lesbian generation, which might be expressed like this: “Hate to tell you Grandma, but you older folks fought so that we could be whoever we want to be. We can revel in pure sexiness like guys do. We can be as shallow as guys. So thanks!”

Um, you’re welcome?

When I looked further down The Seattle Lesbian’s sports page, I found stories about the WNBA’s Seattle Storm. As a huge Storm fan, I was pleased to see them. As a reader teed off over the highlighting of the Undressed Football League, I assumed the site and I could now be friends again.

Not. The stories concerned three players, and the site editor chose one action shot and two glamour shots. The two glamorized players had on more make-up than RuPaul.

So far on this lesbian site I’d seen sex and glamour — and that was just the sports section.

The experience made me feel old and on the curmudgeonly end of the lesbian spectrum. But another experience with media had me feeling youthful and wildly open-minded.

I received in the snail mail the latest issue of a magazine called Lesbian Connection. I began getting the bimonthly publication last year, and it’s now clear to me what an asset it is for dykes everywhere.

LC serves as a lesbian forum, enabling readers, who provide most of the content, to tell their stories. It offers a worldwide list of lesbians willing to share information about their regions. Subscriptions are on a sliding scale.

It’s also now clear to me that the average LC reader remembers Truman’s inauguration.

Okay, I exaggerate.

But the magazine, founded in 1974, is something of a relic. Birthed in the era of lesbian separatism, LC reflects its origins. Readers have names like “Artemis Passionfire” and “Flash Silvermoon” — and while I wish I made those up, I didn’t.

I’ve read a lot about “womyn’s land” and combed through oodles of irate letters when the cover art on LC wasn’t PC. The magazine says it defines lesbians as “women-born-women,” meaning transgender women don’t count.

I wouldn’t say LC is stuck in time, but it’s moving arthritically through it.

I’ll continue reading and enjoying it, and I’ll go back to TheSeattleLesbian.com. Both will keep me honest.

Now I know middle age is more than just a number. It’s when you feel connected to the generation behind you and the generation ahead of you — and when both generations annoy the crap out of you.

Leslie Robinson suspects that 35 years ago she would’ve called herself “Cheddar Morning-Glory.” E-mail Cheddar at lesarobinson@gmail.com, and read other cheesy columns at GeneralGayety.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition March 4, 2011.

—  John Wright