High nooner

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LAID ON END Jeff (Jonathan Groff, left) seduces three women but is cursed with talking to them as well in the unfocussed sex parable ‘Twelve Thirty.’

Even getting ‘Glee’ star Jonathan Groff naked can’t make ‘Twelve Thirty’ interesting

In classic 18th century picaresque novels, young men bounce bawdily from maiden bed to maiden bed, banging a few horny housewives in between, usually in service of a comic satire of sexual liberation peppered with commentary on politics and cultural mores. They are lascivious and funny — that’s what gets people reading them. It’s what makes them part of a genre.

Twelve Thirty follows a similar structure — Jeff (Glee’s Jonathan Groff), a flirtatious young man, claims sexual inexperience but gets laid more often than beige carpeting during a remnants sale, bedding two sisters and their mother. But the thing is, the film isn’t especially (at all?) funny; it has a frank, raw energy (there’s a good deal of sex and nudity) and it’s character-driven with intensive exposition, but it doesn’t amount to much.

Twelve Thirty is ripe with sexual liberation and tons of quirk, but the quirkiness feels forced. Writer-director Jeff Lipsky’s style echoes indie filmmakers Henry Jaglom and Hal Hartley: It’s sophisticated and smart in a cocktail-party-chatter way, but the emotions are treated with academic aloofness. You don’t feel the movie, you merely experience it.

Lipsky doesn’t mind addressing sex, or even showing sex pretty explicitly, but he prefers to talk about sex. And talk and talk and talk. (The title, I’m guessing, is a joke about having a “nooner” — after it’s over, you still need to find something to talk about from 12:30 on.) So, we get a few tantalizing moments of a naked Groff (and some naked ladies, including a surprisingly perky Karen Young), but much, much more conversation. If the dialogue were scintillating, that might suffice. But while the characters are painstakingly conceived (Young’s character, the mother of two girls, is a furrier who still sleeps with her gay ex-husband), there’s not much insight and the chats generally go nowhere (two British women turn up for moments of colorful backstory, then disappear). The film does take a dark turn bordering on cruelty or madness, but then ends as suddenly as it began. Huh?

The film itself has as much a crisis of identity as Jeff himself: It’s a romantic comedy in search of comedy. And romance.

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— Arnold Wayne Jones

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition May 20, 2011.

—  Kevin Thomas

The Nooner: El Paso benefits battle, Houston GLBT Political Caucus, Ricky Gervais

Your lunchtime quickie from Instant Tea:

• Federal judge blocks enforcement of anti-gay El Paso ballot initiative, questions definition of “traditional family values.” Gay rights group protests outside Barnes & Noble during book-signing by pastor who was behind initiative.

• New president of Houston GLBT Political Caucus discusses group’s agenda.

• Texas ENDA introduced again but unlikely to pass.

• Slain gay Portugese journalist’s family dumps ashes down Times Square subway grate.

• Did host Ricky Gervais go too far at the Golden Globes? (video above)

—  John Wright

The Nooner: Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison to retire; trans woman found stabbed to death in Minn.

Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison

Your lunchtime quickie from Instant Tea:

• Anti-gay Texas Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison announces she won’t seek re-election in 2012. (via multiple sources on Twitter)

• Trans woman found stabbed to death in Minneapolis’ first murder of 2011.

• Yoga studio apologizes for calling snow closings “gay.”

• School board chair in Canada apologizes for c0mparing Gay Straight Alliance to Nazis.

• Manager of coffee house run by anti-gay preacher is a convicted child molester.

—  John Wright

The Nooner: Leppert unlikely to run; 1st gay museum opens; R.I. marriage fight heats up

Mayor Tom Leppert appears in the Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade in 2007.

Your lunchtime quickie from Instant Tea:

• It’s “all but certain” that Dallas Mayor Tom Leppert won’t seek re-election, according to The Dallas Morning News, and Councilwoman Angela Hunt says she’s considering a run.

• Westboro Baptist Church says it has decided not to picket 9-year-old Tucson shooting victim’s funeral after all, but it will picket that of federal judge killed in attack.

• First LGBT history museum opens in San Francisco.

• Marriage fight heats up in Rhode Island.

• Jewish groups condemn Sarah Palin‘s use of “blood libel.”

—  John Wright

The Nooner: Verizon iPhone; Chisum drops out of speaker’s race; Log Cabin presses DADT lawsuit

Warren Chisum

Your lunchtime quickie from Instant Tea:

• Log Cabin presses ahead with DADT lawsuit.

• Anti-gay State Rep. Warren Chisum drops out of speaker’s race, will vote for incumbent Joe Straus.

What it would cost you to switch from AT&T to Verizon, which will begin selling the iPhone in February.

• Transgender vets push for military access.

• Watch live: Texas Legislature convenes.

—  John Wright

The Nooner: Rebecca Drysdale, Log Cabin Republicans, next week’s deep freeze

Your gay lunchtime quickie from Instant Tea:

• Lesbian comic Rebecca Drysdale releases must-see, profanity-laden “It Gets Better” video. (Above, NSFW)

• Cross-dressing suspect charged in Houston-area bank robbery.

• Log Cabin Republicans welcomes 112th Congress: “The 2010 election was an historic victory for the GOP, and Log Cabin Republicans is committed to moving forward as part of a stronger, more inclusive Republican Party focused on the issues that unite us as Americans.•

Deep freeze headed to N. Texas: “Record lows aren’t in the forecast, but the frigid weather is expected to arrive Monday and stick around through at least Friday, with highs hovering near freezing and lows in the teens, said meteorologist Jason Dunn of the National Weather Service’s Fort Worth office.”

• Gay-friendly Dallas-based dating website Match.com sued over fake profiles.

—  John Wright

The Nooner: Oprah, Minnesota governor’s race, H&M, Clover coffee, Cedar Hill slaying

Welcome to the inaugural edition of Instant Tea’s new midday news briefing, The Nooner™. Here goes nothing:

• Oprah denies she’s a lesbian in interview with Barbara Walters to air Thursday. (Video clip above.)

• Anti-gay, Target-backed Republican Tom Emmer concedes Minnesota governor’s race. Does this mean it’s OK to shop there again?

• Clover coffee arrives at Starbucks on Knox Street.

• H&M to open pop-up store at NorthPark today?

• Arrest of partner in Cedar Hill teacher’s murder a relief for family.

—  John Wright