I’m sorry. So sorry …

Here’s my offhanded snotty solution to the Confederate monument dilemma, at least for Lee Park:

Tearing down that huge-ass monument is going to be expensive. Moving it would be expensive. And where the hell would you put it? It’s not going to fit in anyone’s living room and would take up the entire pool area in most people’s yards.

A museum? The DMA? It might fit in the Barrel Vault, but then there wouldn’t be room to walk around it. The Nasher? It would take up too much of the sculpture garden and not leave any room for, um, what do you call it — actual, real art.

So here’s my idea.

How about just chopping off Robert E. Lee’s head and replacing it? Not with just any head. Because we’re trying to do this as economically as possible, I recommend placing Brenda Lee’s head in its place.

Why Brenda? That way, we won’t even have to rename the park.

So what about Arlington Hall? Let’s make a deal and rename that one Monty.

—  David Taffet

DPD seeking suspects in robbery on Oak Lawn

Dallas Police are asking for the public’s help in identifying and apprehending two suspects who robbed an Oak Lawn Avenue Sprint store at gunpoint on Wednesday, May 31.

According to police, the two men entered the store at 11:10 a.m. and held employees of the store, located in the 3500 block of Oak Lawn Avenue, at gunpoint during the robbery. No employees were injured.

Suspect No. 1 is a black male, 30-40 years of age, 5’10” and about 200 pounds. He was wearing a red shirt, black pants and a camouflage boonie/military hat.

Suspect No. 2, also a black male, was 6’1 and about 280 pounds. He wore a dark shirt, dark shorts and a white baseball cap.

Anyone who recognizes these suspects, pictured above, or has information concerning the robbery is asked to contact Detective Stokes at 214-671-3444.

—  Tammye Nash

Time for rainbow crosswalks in the Crossroads

The crosswalks at the Crossroads. Pretty, huh?

Ever cross the street in front of Hunkys or JR.’s? Notice those pretty crosswalks?

Pretty?

Pretty ugly.

Who are the straight people at Dallas City Hall who don’t get it? We can fix that for you.

When the Mayor’s LGBT Task Force asked about painting the crosswalks at the Crossroads — the corner of Throckmorton and Cedar Springs roads — the group was told “We don’t do that.” Several times.

Well, yeah we do.

The new crosswalks at Lemmon Avenue East and McKinney Avenue

This is the new crosswalk painted at the corner of Lemmon Avenue East and McKinney Avenue adjacent to West Village in so-called “Uptown.”

When the LGBT community is told “no” and “Uptown,” a community that encroached on Oak Lawn, is told “yes,” we have a problem.

Some history:

If you look at the city plat, “Uptown” doesn’t exist. “Uptown” was a developer’s creation. Ironically, the first use of the term “Uptown” was by LGBT community leader and businessman Mike Grossman. In the early 1990s, he opened a real estate company called Uptown Realtors. That company was based in an old Victorian house on the east side of the Katy Railroad tracks — now the Katy Trail.

The first building boom along McKinney Avenue began along with the re-bricking of the street and the re-installation and then the expansion of the old McKinney Avenue Trolley. But developers had a problem. McKinney Avenue was part of Oak Lawn and Oak Lawn was synonymous with — oh horrors — gay and worse — AIDS. So that part of Oak Lawn was rebranded “Uptown.” Straight people could feel comfortable living in Uptown, but not in Oak Lawn. Kind of the way people hate Obamacare but love the Affordable Care Act.

So after repeatedly being told “we don’t do this,” imagine our surprise when we found this:

I thought we don’t do that in Dallas.

Well, apparently we do. Just not in Oak Lawn.

Look. What we’re asking for is this:

This, which will do a number of things. First is safety. How many car/pedestrian accidents have there been along Cedar Springs Road? Several resulted in fatalities. The brightly painted crosswalks are much more visible than the faded white markings.

Second, it will be good for business. What? Business? Oh, did that perk up some Dallas ears? Yes. Business. It will encourage renewed interest in Cedar Springs. It will bring people back to the Crossroads to see the rainbow crosswalk and stay to shop, eat out and visit a bar. And the more people who do that, the more tax revenue is generated for the city.

Let me break that down a little further: When I ate at home last night, tax revenue generated was $0. When I ate at Hunky’s on Wednesday, the bill for two of us was about $18. Tax revenue generated was $1.45. Multiply that by thousands of people who will come to see our rainbow crosswalk over the next few months.

Thousands of people? Absolutely. I took this picture on Tuesday morning:

While I was taking it, three other people walked by, stopped, looked and admired. On a Tuesday morning. Before 10 a.m. Not all the West Village stores were even open yet.

So my question to the City of Dallas is this: Are you going to paint the crosswalks at the Crossroads rainbow colors or should we just do it ourselves? Or will the painted crosswalk in Uptown be removed? As far as I see it, that’s the choice.

“Uptown” can have this amenity while Oak Lawn can’t just isn’t an option.

—  David Taffet

SWAT raid leads to arrests at Oak Lawn apartment

Cory Smith with NBC5 (KXAS-TV) tweeted these photos of a SWAT operation in Oak Lawn Thursday afternoon, Feb. 9.

Four people are reportedly in custody following a SWAT operation at an apartment located near Dickerson Avenue, between Wycliff and Douglas, according to reports posted on Twitter by Cory Smith with NBC5, KXAS-TV.

Dallas police spokeswoman Diana Flores told Dallas Morning News a SWAT was serving a warrant in the area but offered no other details.

At about 1 p.m., Smith reported hearing “a series of loud booms in the Oak Lawn area,” and tweeted that there was “a growing police presence. Multiple officers.”

In successive tweets, Smith noted that four people had been taken into custody. At about 2 p.m., he tweeted, “State police now inside apartment that was target of SWAT operation in Oak Lawn/Cedar Springs area.”

Smith posted several photos, including one of the apartment building and several of men being led away in handcuffs by SWAT officers.

One of the men arrested as been identified by several sources as a former Club Stallions dancer who appeared in at least one Naked Sword Originals porn film.

We’ll update as we get more information.

—  Tammye Nash

Police seek suspects in Pizza Patron robbery

Dallas police are asking for the public’s help in identifying the two suspects — pictured above — who robbed the Pizza Patron restaurant at 5542 Maple Ave. in Dallas on Tuesday, Jan. 17.

Police said the two entered the store about 12:15 p.m. and threatened the cashier with a knife while demanding all the money from the register. No one was injured in the incident.

Suspect No. 1 is a white male, 25-30 years old, 5 feet, 7inches tall, with an athletic build who was wearing a green t-shirt, navy zip-up hoodie, blue jeans, red and black shoes with reflective parts, and a baseball hat with red bill.

The second suspect is also a white male, 23-28 years old, 5 feet, 7 inches tall with a thin build and black hair and wearing a white t-shirt, multi-colored jacket, khaki pants, brown house shoes and a white beanie.

Anyone who recognizes the men or has information about the robbery should call Det. K. Schiver at 214-671-3655.

If you have info but want to remain anonymous, call Crime Stoppers at 214-373-TIPS (8477), 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Crime Stoppers will pay up to $5,000 for information called into Crime Stoppers that leads to the arrest and indictment for this and other felony offenses.

—  Tammye Nash

Hate in the gayborhood

CORRECTION: The flyer was left on a car on Saturday night, not Tuesday. New information suggests that these threats are targeting a specific individual, However, the nature of the threats would indicate others are also at risk.

The flyer below was allegedly left on the windshield of a car outside BJ’s NXS! gay nightclub on Fitzhugh Avenue Tuesday night.

The flyer includes a photo of the fence to which Matthew Shepherd was tied and left to die outside Laramie, Wyoming in 1998 in one of the most infamous anti-gay hate crimes in recent years. Boxed words printed next to that photo say, “Where you belong !!!!” with an arrow pointing to the photo.

There is a second photo of a tribute at BJ’s to the victims of the June 12 massacre at Orlando’s Pulse nightclub, next to the boxed words “Kill all fags and anyone who helped them at PULSE.” There is also a badly cropped photo of two young white women in a car, a a copy of the BJ’s logo, along with the boxed words “YOU ARE NEXT!!!” and, at the bottom, a separate boxed area including the threat, “NIGGER LOVERS AND ILLEGAL WETBACKS MUST DIE FUCKING FAGGOT YOU ARE THE NEXT PULSE AND FAGGOT TO DIE BY BEATING !!”

Dallas Voice has left a message asking the person on whose car the flyer was reportedly found to contact us. We have not yet verified the authenticity of the flyer, but felt that the threat contained herein is serious enough to warrant posting here as a warning to our readers to be careful and stay alert.

We will be passing this flyer along to Dallas police.

anti-gay-bjs-flyer

—  Tammye Nash

PHOTOS: The Halloween Block Party, Part 7 (the final one)

Chuck Marcelo of Marcelo Media was on the The Strip Saturday night, camera in hand, to capture all the sights of the Halloween Block Party. Here is the last of several slide shows sharing his photos.

—  Tammye Nash

PHOTOS: The Halloween Block Party, Part 6

Chuck Marcelo of Marcelo Media was on the The Strip Saturday night, camera in hand, to capture all the sights of the Halloween Block Party. Here is the sixth of several slide shows sharing his photos.

—  Tammye Nash

PHOTOS: The Halloween Block Party, Part 5

Chuck Marcelo of Marcelo Media was on the The Strip Saturday night, camera in hand, to capture all the sights of the Halloween Block Party. Here is the fifth of several slide shows sharing his photos.

—  Tammye Nash

PHOTOS: The Halloween Block Party, Part 4

Chuck Marcelo of Marcelo Media was on the The Strip Saturday night, camera in hand, to capture all the sights of the Halloween Block Party. Here is the fourth of several slide shows sharing his photos.

—  Tammye Nash