Are you heterosexual in an opposite sex marriage? Did you notice your life began falling apart this morning? Are your kids are coming home in drag? Is your perm melting? (I’m looking at you, Cathie Adams.) Well then your world may just be falling apart!
After those God forsaken lesbos in Travis County got hitched this morning, the gloom and doom predicted in the Book of Leviticus (copyright Blonde White Jesus with Six Pack Abs) is coming true.
So if you noticed you suddenly have cravings to fuck Porky the Dog or that every traditional family around is breaking down in front of you, I’m looking to speak to you! Feel free to contact me on our “contact us” page. Or if you’re feeling frisky after the flaming chariots have moved in, tweet me @james4texas.