By Jack Fertig
Joan Rivers turns 78 on Thursday. The comedian and TV show host seems to be more famous now for her plastic surgery than her punchlines. She scored a hit with the gays though, with her newest show The Fashion Police. She leads a panel of B-listers in catty talk about celebrity fashions and faux pas.
Mars in Taurus aspecting Eris in Aries cranks up competitive urges. Be open and flexible. Goals may need adjusting as conditions change.
GEMINI May 21-Jun 20
Your friends wear you down. Maybe you’re trying too hard to be the star of the party? Enjoy being on the sidelines now and then, or just take some time out. Your real friends will understand.
CANCER Jun 21-Jul 22
Friends and colleagues are eager to see you succeed, but they push you a little too hard. Keep an eye open to your larger goal, but the trick is still to stay focused on the job at hand.
LEO Jul 23-Aug 22
Use your indoor voice. The smart actor knows that whispers can get attention where screaming gets ignored. You will be noticed no matter what, but what do they see?
VIRGO Aug 23-Sep 22
Long, hard and deep is how you should think about sex. How does it serve in your life? To pursue satisfaction? To forge a deeper bond? The real question: How does it bring you home?
LIBRA Sep 23-Oct 22
You don’t win or keep a lover by being the best in bed. Open communication keeps love alive. Focus on the small details. Being the best mate you can be is not a competitive sport.
SCORPIO Oct 23-Nov 21
Pace yourself with your colleagues, don’t drag it out so far ahead that you pull the team efforts out of whack. Pushing too hard can also be bad for your health.
SAGITTARIUS Nov 22-Dec 20
Pushing too hard at sports or exercise is asking to get hurt. The trick in pushing for a personal best is to expand your limits, not to ignore them. Yes, even you have limits.
CAPRICORN Dec 21-Jan 19
Getting involved helps you clarify where you really belong in the world, what you’ve learned from elders to pass on to future generations, and what you could be doing for the kids.
AQUARIUS Jan 20-Feb 18
Arguments with your family help you plan better for your future. Don’t be shy about speaking up. Sibling rivalry can spur you to better work, but don’t let it affect you too deeply.
PISCES Feb 19-Mar 19
Spending and arguments get out of control. Old habits mire you down, interfering with your success. Keep a clear focus on your goals and act as if your next boss is watching you.
ARIES Mar 20-Apr 19
You make a lot or spend a lot. The competitive urge drags you either way and even making money is more strain than it’s worth. Work as hard as you reasonably can.
TAURUS Apr 20-May 20
It’s not easy being the strong, reliable one. All the more reason why you need to take care of yourself. Take a break. Relax. You’ll hold up better and accomplish more in the long run.
Jack Fertig can be reached at 415-864-8302 or Starjack.com
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition June 3, 2011.