Shabby Shriek of the Week: Nicole Scherzinger

This week, we look at singer Nicole Scherzinger. We’ve received remixes for her songs “Right There” and “Don’t Hold Your Breath.” These two singles come from her debut album Killer Love slated for a December release. How does she fare? Read on.

WTF is Nicole Scherzinger?

The bio on her site is way too long. Seriously, chick? Below are some of the more precious bits from her bio.

“when Hawaiian-born Nicole Scherzinger was growing up in Louisville, Kentucky, she received a Christmas gift of a tiny purple boombox and a cassette of Whitney Houston’s chart-topping 1985 self-titled debut album. ‘That was it for me. Her voice was so powerful; every note she sang just felt like the truth.’”

“…a multifaceted career that has enabled her to lead the multi-platinum pop group The Pussycat Dolls , take home the mirror ball trophy as the tenth season winner of ABC’s Dancing With The Stars and act on How I Met Your Mother and the musical Rent. [Simon Cowell] tapped Scherzinger to serve as a judge on the American version of The X Factor…

“All I’ve ever really wanted to do was sing,” she says. “I didn’t care about being famous. Whitney Houston really touched me and changed my life. She drew me into her world and that’s what I hope to do with Killer Love. I want to create a world inside of the music like my favorite performers did. I want to play in that realm artistically and creatively and see where it takes me, then put it onstage and share it with people. That’s what it’s about for me.”

More after the jump.

—  Rich Lopez

Ellen’s out: DeGeneres quits ‘American Idol’

Ellen DeGeneres won’t return to American Idol as a judge next season, she announced Thursday night.

DeGeneres came on board as a “replacement” for Paula Abdul, although it was generally acknowledged she was added to the lineup to provide continuity once Simon Cowell, the tart-tongued judge who, let’s face it, made the show a hit in the first place, left at the end of last season. DeGeneres admitted her contract allowed her to have a say in who would replace Cowell. No replacement for him has been named yet, and nationwide auditions are set to begin next month.

DeGeneres cited how hard it is to be mean as a reason for her departure, but the show is undergoing other shakeups. In addition to Cowell’s departure, this season was generally seen as one of the weakest, with talented but lackluster singers, too much chatter from four judges (instead of three) and declining ratings (though it’s still a mammoth hit). Nigel Lythgoe, who executive-produced American Idol before leaving a few years ago to run So You Think You Can Dance, has been brought back on board. He reportedly dislikes the four-judge panel

Ominously, he seemed to like Randy Jackson, who is embarrassingly banal deadweight whose critiques are repetitive and childish. At least Paula was watchable, like a train wreck. Kara DioGuardi is more flotsam.

—  Arnold Wayne Jones

Tube wrap-up: 'Top Chef Masters,' 'Idol'

NUP_137197_0824Susan Feniger, the gay chef who to date this season has won the most money for her charity, finally fell on “Top Chef Masters” last night. Her sandwiches were deemed not “high cuisine” enough to qualify as the master chef. I think that’s a problem with this show in general: haute cuisine gets more credibility than street food. As Feniger said on her way out, maybe the judges need to talk to the people who actually eat her food and like it. But that’s the way the show goes.

Meanwhile, over on Fox, cutie Lee DeWyze won the title American Idol, defeating soulful frontrunner Crystal Bowersox. Based on performance alone in the finale, Bowersox outshone DeWyze, but he’s a charming, likeable singer with a good voice. And it’s not his fault this just turned out to be a boring season. Who would have guessed Paula kept it all so interesting?

Speaking of Paula, she made a guest appearance, tributing departing judge Simon Cowell. She looked beautiful, and honestly, her presence simply reminded you that Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi are deadweight on the show, offering banal advice in a repetitive fashion. They also have terrible manners. Ellen’s still watchable. But looks like Paula may have actually gotten out in time. Smart lady.

—  Arnold Wayne Jones