Jessica + Hunter Are Probably Thankful For Thighs That Don’t Touch, Too

I'm not sure which tips of Jessica and Hunter I'm going to use first: Their fashion advice (drip yourself in designers; chicken and turkey feathers) or their cooking recipes (stuffing, with vodka, Twinkies, Starbucks Via, and of course As Seen On TV's fat burning pills). And you thought overeating would make you puke.

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Fred Phelps: Fags ‘Ought to Be So Thankful’ Westboro Isn’t Charging Them

Hell is the place where the worm eats on fags, and the fire is never quenched. Indescribable pain. The Lord Jesus said that. And he knows because he's had a front row seat since the creation of Adam. What you need to do is get a Bible and look up Luke, Chapter 16. These fags are going to hell, and instead of squawking like crybabies, they ought to be so thankful that at no expense to them, we've dedicated time and resources to preach to them. People say we're "disturbing the peace." Don't you understand: we've done 40,000 of these pickets, and we'd be in jail if we were disturbing the peace.

—The always insightful Westboro Baptist leader Fred Phelps, who also notes that when it comes to other religious leaders, "about half of these preachers and priests are closet homosexuals–I mean practicing homosexuals."

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—  John Wright