“This one is gonna be kinda long and kinda personal and very real.”
That’s how pro wrestler “Money” Matt Cage started off a recent post, titled “Here goes nothing …” on his Facebook page.
The wrestler, whose real name in Matt Hullum, goes on to talk about how rejection has always been one of his biggest fears, but that he has grown older and matured “I have discovered I truly don’t care as much about rejection anymore.” And knowing that his family and friends will love him “flaws and all” and that his peers respect him for his work, Hullum said he was ready to put aside all deception and be honest about himself:
“That being said,” he wrote, “it makes it much easier to post here publicly that I’m gay.”
Hullum lives in La Salle, Ill., and makes a living traveling the indie pro wrestling circuit. He told Outsports that he chose to share his story in hopes that it would inspire and motivate others.
Hullum wrote on Facebook that for a long time he claimed to be bisexual, and while he still thinks women are beautiful, “I have no real intentions of pursuing females at this stage of my life. … I don’t think that’ll ever change. But I think that to continue to claim something that’s not true is just continuing a streak of dishonesty, and I don’t want that. Sorry, ladies. I’m officially pulling myself off the market. Don’t hate me too bad.”
Although he believes that “private matters should stay just that,” Hullum acknowledged that the “constant speculation and discussion” about his orientation was beginning to wear on him, causing him stress and prompting bouts of depression.
“I spent the majority of my life lying, hiding and depressed because I felt like I couldn’t truly be who I wanted to be and live freely as I saw fit,” Hullum wrote. “I had to act and that’s not me. I, nor anyone else, should have to do that.”
In the wrestling ring, Hullum said, he has always conducted himself in a professional manner and will continue to do so. He said he doesn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable and doesn’t believe he has done anything so far that would do that.
“Hopefully nothing changes, but if any relationships change from this post, I’ll know that I didn’t need those people in my life anyway,” he said. “I hope that the fans, the promoters and everyone else don’t change their opinions of me. I was the same person yesterday as I am right now, just now, I have a bit more weight lifted off of my shoulders.
“The stress, depression and worrying that has always come from this is something nobody should have to deal with. Depression is a very real thing, and some people don’t understand that. People often times cannot empathize. But know this: we are all human beings. We all have our own way, traits, personalities and things that make us our own person. Keep that in mind.”
Hullum ended by thanking his supporters and “those who have my back,” and by apologizing to “anyone I lied to or had to keep this secret from.”
He concluded, “To anyone who has ever been scared of just being real and telling the truth, you shouldn’t be. Yes, I was. But if the people you care about, or even those you don’t, are good people, it won’t matter … the way it SHOULD be.”
Outsports notes that response so far on Facebook, including from Hullum’s fellow wrestlers, has been positive and supportive.