The 'compliment' of straighthood

Posted on 17 Nov 2009 at 7:25am

I met a woman recently and a party and we were having a pleasant conversation when it came up that I am gay.

“REALLY?!” she exclaimed, eyes like saucers. “YOU’RE gay? I would NEVER peg you as gay! Never! You seem completely straight! … I mean, you could pass easily and no one would know. In a million years…” and it went on for several rounds. I just smiled and nodded and kinda wondered what to say.

“Uhhh… thank you, I guess. Although I hope not too many people think it,” I said. A few times.

Obviously, there were two messages here. (1) I thought you were straight and was hitting on you and wanted you to know you had a chance with me or other girls … just so you know; (2) most gay people SEEM gay but you don’t, and that is a good thing.

It was all well-intentioned, and flattering in a way, I guess, to be “complimented,” but how do you deal with a situation like that? What’s the response? Anyone?

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