Denver Archbishop Charles Chaput

In Boulder, Colo., Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School, acting at the direction of the Archdiocese of Denver, refused admission to the children of a lesbian couple.

After protests, the school issued a statement that explained that the church teaches that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is wrong.

Archbishop Charles Chaput wrote, “The Church does not claim that people with a homosexual orientation are ‘bad,’ or that their children are less loved by God. Quite the opposite. But what the Church does teach is that sexual intimacy by anyone outside marriage is wrong; that marriage is a sacramental covenant; and that marriage can only occur between a man and a woman.” Here’s his full statement and that of the school’s pastor.

I fully support the decision by the school and here are my Top 10 reasons why I believe the Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School in Boulder denied admission to the children of a lesbian couple (and yes, I know I’m going to get crap for this):

1. The big, scary lesbians will kick the crap out of the priests who abuse their children.
2. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,” unless their mothers are big, scary lesbians.
3. Sex outside of marriage is wrong and the priests at this school have never had sex — with each other or any of the kids at the school.
4. The school has standards and would never enroll children of divorced parents either.
5. If children of lesbians were admitted, the other kids might learn that these kids are just like everyone else.
6. If children of lesbians were admitted, the other kids might find out that these kids were actually smarter and better adjusted.
7. The school has standards and would never enroll children of a father who has had an affair.
8. The school has standards and would never enroll the children of parents who used birth control.
9. “Suffer little children to come unto me for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven” especially the children of two big, scary lesbians. Suffer even more.
10. But in the end, it’s their school, their hypocrisy. Let them keep their bigotry within their church and fight them when they try to impose their intolerance as our laws. Those kids will be better off in another school.

In a related story, CBS reports that members of the Pope’s staff were involved in a gay prostitution ring. No, really. Click on the story. Really really really.