It turns out that we shouldn’t marry, fellow gays. Ya know, because one Judge Executive in Whitley County, KY, has “moral objections” that he wishes to codify into law, starting with a completely time-wasting, wholly non-binding resolution:
Okay, kids, we have a project for you:
STEP1: Get a piece of paper. It can be a sticky note. Or a scrap piece. Or a gum wrapper. Anything, really.
STEP2: Write a personal whim on said paper. One than bans some group from doing something. It can be faith-based, like if you have some dietary commandment you follow. Or it can be about whatever you personally dislike. For me, it’s ketchup. For you, who knows?
STEP3: Smugly look at what you wrote. Even pat yourself on the back, if you feel so inclined. Go ahead. Superiority = America.
STEP4: Call local TV crews. Talk about how you’d like to take your ideas national. Bonus points if you can find some sort of public opinion polling that helps make your whim sound like a majority consensus, independent from constitutionality.
STEP5: Congratulate yourself once more. For you have just created a personally-motivated document and news story with as much legal power as the Whitley Court, KY, Fiscal Court.
STEP6: Count up the minutes that you could have instead been dedicating to actual problems. Continue to ignore them in favor of baseless discrimination.
Repeat whenever some other group you don’t support gets “radical” and/or “uppity” enough to seek basic peace and fairness.
*SEE ALSO: Meet the panel who gave unanimous approval to this resolution: Elected officials [Whitley County]
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