TV faves take to the stage for the twangy comedy show ‘A Sordid Affair’
A SORDID AFFAIR
Majestic Theatre, 1925 Elm St. Sept. 19 at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. $22â€“$100. Asordidaffair.net ($10 discount with code: Voice).
Just in time for Pride, the dysfunctional friends and family from Del Shores’ Sordid Lives: The Series are leaving their little Texas town for two performances in the Big D called A Sordid Affair. And just like any real family reunion, keeping up with everyone can be more nerve wracking than being a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. So here’s a quick who’s who to help you keep them, um, straight:
Rue McClanahan (Peggy Ingram)
While Rue has won our hearts as a church-going adulterer with a thing for amputees, she’ll still always hold high court in pop culture as The Golden Girls’ slinky southern belle, Blanche Devereaux.
Best quip: "There is a fine line between having a good time and being a wanton slut. I know. My toe has been on that line" (as Blanche).
Most unexpected appearance: Playing a hostess in Biosphere 2.
Leslie Jordan ("Brother Boy" Ingram)
He may be impish in size, but Jordan’s characters are all larger than life. In drag, you’ll certainly recognize his teased blonde hair and bright orange lips effortlessly lip-synching to Tammy Wynette. In boy clothes, he’s most famous for slinging bitchy barbs as Beverley Leslie on Will & Grace.
Best quip: "Well, well, well, if it isn’t Karen Walker. I thought I smelled gin and regret" (as Beverley).
Most unexpected appearance: Shelby in Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday.
Del Shores (writer/director)
Del should just wear a shirt that reads "Local Boy Done Good." This Texas native has won critical acclaim for a laundry list of shows he’s written, and often directed, including Sordid Lives, Daddy’s Dyin’…Who’s Got The Will and the soon-to-be-on-the-big-screen Southern Baptist Sissies.
Best (written) quip: "Oohhhkkkaay" (as chirped by Brother Boy in Sordid Lives).
Most unexpected appearance: Writing an episode of Touched By An Angel.
Caroline Rhea (Noletta Nethercott)
A comedian, actress, TV hostess and producer, Caroline is to legit media what Suzanne Somers is to infomercials. She first blipped the radar as a mad-capped aunt on Sabrina The Teenage Witch, but it’s the hosting gig on The Biggest Loser that really tipped the scales, so to speak. Not to mention her ability to step into Delta Burke’s shoes for her role in Sordid Lives: The Series.
Best quip: "Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It’s kinda like being the guy on a date" (in her standup).
Most unexpected appearance: "Beach Girl No. 4" in Meatballs III.
Jason Dottley (Ty Williamson)
With his boy-next-door looks, Jason has easily helped fans forget that he didn’t play the role of Ty on the big screen. Plus, gay boys everywhere can identify with his struggles in cracking open the closet door.
Best quip: "I’m not sure that I am a homosexual!" (as Ty).
Most unexpected appearance: President of Del Shores Productions. In addition to acting, Dottley is also the husband and business partner of the playwright.
Newell Alexander (Wardell Owens)
Although he replaced Beau Bridges when Sordid Lives went to the small screen, Newell’s a familiar face nonetheless (he played a bartender in the film version). He’s also Shores’ former father-in-law. Talk about keeping it all in the family.
Best quip: "If you tell that story one more time, I think I’ll just shit!" (as Wardell).
Most unexpected appearance: A motorist in the 1978 Eric Estrada star-maker CHiPs.
Rosemary Alexander (Dr. Eve)
Creating the shrink you love to hate, Rosemary (real-life wife of Newell) breathed life into the master manipulator Dr. Eve. But her gay street cred dates back even further with an appearance on Designing Women in 1988.
Best quip: "No. He must wake up fast. It is imperative that he wake up so I can de-homosexualize him and get on Oprah" (as Dr. Eve).
Most unexpected appearance: It’s a toss up between "woman in bar" on Knots Landing and "policewoman" on Murder She Wrote.
Ann Walker (LaVonda Dupree)
Big, brassy and not afraid to wear canary yellow or large-scale floral prints — that’s LaVonda Dupree. A fiery red head, Ann brings all the sass of a drag queen without the wig and the press-on nails.
Best quip: [on the neighbor’s pet goat] "Like all the naked kids, a flock of chickens and an old, ugly Plymouth sittin’ up on cinder blocks in their front yard wasn’t enough to make them the reigning family of trash on Truitt Street" (as LaVonda).
Most unexpected appearance: Beverly in Hollywood Hot Tubs.
Take a ‘Bump!’
Charlie David is making the rounds during Dallas Pride. You might know him from his hosting duties on Logo’s travel show, Bump! and it’s looking like they will be featuring Big D in it’s rainbow glory.
If you wouldn’t mind getting up close and personal with David — and who wouldn’t — you’ll have a few chances this weekend. The TV personality, author and actor (gee, what doesn’t he do?) will be meeting-and-greeting his fans — and since the cameras will probably following him the entire time, this might just be your chance to make it onto TV.
Just don’t be one of those goofy people in the background jumping to get attention. We don’t want Dallas to look like that on national TV now.
Tapelenders, 3926 Cedar Springs Road. Sept. 18 at 7 p.m. Hungdinger, 4000 Cedar Springs Road. Sept. 18 at 8 p.m.
Dallas Diablos Scrimmage, Lake Highlands Park, 1000 N. Buckner Blvd. Sept. 19, noon.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition September 18, 2009.