OK, so you’re getting tired of me coming up with new reasons I hate this silly, minor Jewish holiday that is only celebrated with such ferocity in places that celebrate Christmas. Chanukah is no more important than Tu b’Shvat or Lag b’Omer. Never heard of them? That’s because they’re not major Jewish holidays either.

You can read my previous Why I Hate Channukkah posts here and here and here and here and here.

This year, I thought I’d celebrate Hanukkuah kitsch, like this year’s popular menorah design, the menorahsaurus:


Also available in silver and ceramic:




And for everyone who has posted pictures of these on my Facebook page, please stop. These are all annoying.

Then there’s the menorah bong. Very practical and designed to let those of us who can’t stand this holiday get through the week of people wishing us happy holiday. I might point out how traditional this bong, I mean menorah, really is. Place pot in the shamos holder (the candle that lights the other candles) and add one candle holder each day of the holiday. By day eight, you’ll really be enjoying the holiday.

And for years I’ve been complaining that there’s only one monotonous Channukkah song. Here’s an album that will make you glad that Jews have expended all their energy writing most of the Christmas music out there.

Reason number 587 why I hate Hanukkahh: The holiday has been reduced to kitsch. It has absolutely no religious meaning anymore, if it ever did.