How do gay people deal with Trumpeters?



Hello my people! I hope you are all surviving this yo-yo winter: Warm, freezing, warm, chilly rain, warm again. Stupid Mother Nature is tryin’ to give us all pneumonia. I stay prepared — I have a spare jacket and an extra pair of shorts in the car. Even for Texas this seems a little off. If only someone could prove that global warming is a real thing (eye roll).
I don’t have a whole lot on my mind today. I’m all hopped up on allergy medication so I feel a little discombobulated. It’s like my mind is working but it is taking the long way around to coherently form a thought. Oh, well, hopefully the fog will clear and I can help some folks.

Dear Cassie, Here’s a question for ya that I bet a lot of people are struggling with (and yes, you can use my name — I have no shame in my game!). I know people are tired of political topics, but this one still affects me.
How can a gay person deal with friends that voted for, and are vocal supporters of, Trump? Many people say that we have to look past our differences, but when a friend votes for a man that has made it known publicly that he is against equality and nominates a group of very anti-gay/equality individuals to key governmental positions, how are you able to look past it? When a person votes for a candidate, they are basically stating that they agree with that candidate’s platform. If that platform includes inequality, what does that say about the friendship? Many of the people that I have had this discussion with state that their vote “was the lessor of two evils” to which I call bullshit! I feel that there are many differences that friends can have, but views on basic civil rights just can’t be one of them, at least in my opinion. Looking forward to seeing your views on this topic if you choose to use my question. Thanks, Jim Dujka.

Dear Jim, I, too, am sick of political talk, probably because the subject makes me sad and frightened when I think of the next four years. I wish I had a good answer to how you deal with friends or family that voted for Trump. I do not.

For instance, my mother voted for Trump. When she told me this, I was shocked. We talked about it before the election. I knew she didn’t like Hillary but she raised me to treat people with respect, so I figured there is no way she could vote for someone that makes fun of the handicapped, talked with such disrespect for women and tweets like a 12-year-old. She said, “You know I’m a Republican and I always will be.” She couldn’t see past a word “Republican.” I was confused and heartbroken. So, the values she raised me with didn’t apply when electing a president? When her grandson, my nephew, gets in trouble for saying or doing something that our new president has done, what will she say to him? She won’t have a leg to stand on. I’m just baffled. I hate to say this, but my relationship with my mother is forever changed, so I am probably not the best person to ask advice on how to deal with Trumpeters. Nothing will change my mind about him and I’m sure nothing will change their minds either. It feels like we are beating a dead horse named America.

Do you watch the show Black-ish? It’s a great, well-written, funny show. A recent episode was called “Lemons.”  It dealt with life and fear after the election. It asked questions and concerns from both sides, folks that voted for and against Trump. It was a great episode that I hope all of America could watch. I don’t think it will change anybody’s mind on the election, but did help me see what the other side might have been thinking. I still think they are 100 percent wrong and probably have buyer’s remorse by now, but it did make me think. The show asked uncomfortable questions and put a lot of relevant things into perspective, I hope for both sides. We are a country divided and these next four years are going to be rough, but hopefully we will learn to not expect things to just turn out. We, all of us, have to turn out and vote.

I hope those ridiculous people that just threw away their vote on Jill Stein and that other guy, whose name I can’t even remember, realize that in a game of tug-o’-war, there are only two sides. Even if you don’t like the two sides, pull on the side that is best for your country. Election time is not the time to make your hipster, douche-bag point. Don’t waste your vote to prove your small petty point that no one benefits from but could in fact make a good candidate lose the election — then everyone loses. Not sure if my complaining helps at all but seriously, watch that episode of Black-ish. Thanks, and good luck. Cassie.

Dear Cassie, I wanna ask a relationship question. I know you’ve been with your husband for a long time, I’m about to hit nine months with my boyfriend. That’s the longest I’ve ever been with anyone, and I feel the desire I used to get from him is fading. I know he still loves me, but he doesn’t swoon over me anymore. I feel like I’m losing him. How did you keep the passion and desire between you and your husband for such a long time? Thanks in advance, E.T.
Dear E.T., Passion and beauty fade but true love lasts. It’s true that after a while, your white hot passion and lust for your partner does begin to calm down, but if you are lucky, that passion and lust still creep up on ya when the time is right. The whole “we can’t keep our hands off each other” eventually gives way to a comfort in closeness.

Yes, I sometimes miss how we would make out like teenagers when we first got together, but I would not trade what we have built over the years. There is a comfort and ease that can only be built over time. Sure you trade some of that teenage lust but it is just the evolution of a relationship. I know how lucky I am to be in a relationship that just works. We still have passion and fun in bed, but sometimes it has to be planned. It may not always be spontaneous but it’s always exciting. We know each other’s likes and “stuff” more now than in the beginning, and we have way more fun now. Don’t be afraid to ask him what he wants and don’t be afraid to try something new. Be with someone who can be a freak with you! Good luck

Remember to always, love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova

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This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition January 20, 2017.