Drama on the runway
Hello, all! I hope you are enjoying our month of spring. It’s Texas, so you know we will be sweating our tits off very soon.
I have had a very crazy week — and I mean crazy. Last Friday during the show in the Rose Room, I asked a guy to not stand in the walkways. Besides it being a safety concern, I hate it when people stand in front of someone that got to the show early enough to get a good seat, and some ass-hat late-comer just stands right in front of them. That is what this guy was doing. He said OK, and I walked away.
When I turned back around he was still standing in the aisle. If he had been tipping a performer, I would have left him alone, cuz drag queens love gettin’ tipped; but he wasn’t.
I repeated the request to move … and he came for me. Like, for real. He grabbed my wig and yanked; I grabbed my wig and held on. (I was not gonna let this little beeyotch disrespect my hair like that. My wig was tacked down pretty good, so it stayed on my head. I am strangely proud of that.)
Then he started to punch me in my stomach. I have always said that my drag is like my armor, and that night was proof. I wear a metal-boned corset — I never felt any punches. I felt like one of those superheroes when some bad guy starts to punch, and they just laugh, “Ha! Ha! Ha!” Except I was not laughing. I went into defense mode. I was freaked out and embarrassed, but I was getting manhandled. So I fought back. I grabbed his hair with one hand and started to punch with the other. I got in two punches before two guys from the audience jumped in to protect me. All I will say about that is, they whooped his ass.
Security, managers, floor people and even Layla Larue helped to end the brawl, for which I am forever grateful.
It was insane, all while the room was packed. But they got a show that night. It was scary. They took the guy downstairs to wait for the cops, and I went right back to emceeing our show. The energy of the room was frenetic, and everyone, including me, needed to calm down, so I decided to take a five-minute break.
Five minutes was all we needed to get the show back on track and get on with doing our jobs. The show went on without a single hiccup — business as usual because we are professionals. Even Miss Wig was rett to go!
My night ended with me safe at home, sleeping well in my own bed. I’m not sure the guy that started the fight could say the same thing. Choices!
Then on Sunday, a huge group of us went to Scarborough Renaissance Festival in Waxahachie. We go every year and always have a great time. We are the definition of eat, drink and be merry. If I didn’t do drag so much I would probably want to go all dressed up like so many of those die-hard cosplay folks. Those people are dedicated: They wear lots of layers to complete their looks, even in the Texas heat. Luckily, the weather Sunday was perfect.
Speaking of corsets, we saw hundreds of top-heavy ladies wearing corsets and pushing them tig ol’ bitties up for the gods. I actually buy my corsets at Scarborough every year; they have been a life saver. If my boobs were real, I would prop those bitches up for all the world to see, too. Basically, all I am doing is rearranging my fat.
Then on Tuesday, Jenna Skyy and I drove to Austin. We were asked to be guest speakers at the Texas Library Association’s annual conference. They wanted our point of view from doing the Drag Queen Story Time. They put us up in a fancy hotel downtown — it was pretty cool. I love Austin, especially the downtown. Great restaurants, live music and every kind of bar you could think of, all within walking distance. We ended our night at Rain on 4th and watched some of the drag show. But after nearly a bottle of wine with dinner and a couple of shots of Tito’s at the bar, I was ready to get back to the hotel and fall out. You see, Cassie Nova can hold her liquor and drink almost anyone under the table, but James is a lightweight.
The next day we spent the day at the conference. It was librarian heaven. That may sound a little geeky, but the truth is it was actually pretty cool. They had everything you could think of, a booth teaching the importance of having Spanish-language children’s books, fun seating ideas for kids, crafts and other ideas for the little ones.
They even had demonstrations of 3D printers and wood-burning laser printers. I love that kind of stuff.
They had a huge area like what they have at comic-cons, lines set up to meet your favorite stars and get their autograph. But their lines were to meet the authors of many popular books. I even fan-girled out when I saw they had Kiersten White. She wrote a book called Slayer that I just finished a few weeks ago.
We sat on a panel that talked about the importance of having a drag queen story time and gave our perspective on what is was like for us as entertainers. I loved the experience; we were all very well received. It was interesting to hear from a librarian from Houston that had lots of push back and protesters at their drag story time. They had lots of drama there, while we in Dallas had only a few negative emails or comments on a website. Knock on wood.
My favorite thing said during the panel was by Kitty Litter, an Austin drag queen who does their story time.
She said someone complained that they were just trying to push their agenda on kids. She said she absolutely was trying to push her agenda on kids — the agenda of teaching kindness, love and acceptance. I love that.
Now I am back at home getting ready for what I hope is a less dramatic but still fabulous week! Wish me luck!
Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova.
Contact Cassie at AskCassieNova@gmail.com.
