Cassie-Nova

What’s up with kids these days?

2015 is off to a bitch of a start. It’s not that anything bad has happened to me (knock wood), it’s just that I seem to get more easily annoyed than way back in 2014. I know I am going to sound like some old fart by saying this, but what the hell is with young people today? These youths have such a sense of entitlement. There is a lack of respect for others. Remember manners — do they still teach them anymore? I am totally against child abuse but some of these kids need their asses beat. I grew up with a healthy fear of my mother. Not just that she would whoop me, but fear that I would disappoint her. Do people care about things like that anymore? I miss kids saying “yessir” or “no, ma’am” instead of “naw” and “yeah.” My mother had a glare that was worse than any ass-beating. She could give you a look that would make your butt muscles clench.

I am not saying I was a perfect child; I was not. I remember once, on Halloween, we stopped by M.E. Moses for some candy for the trick-or-treaters. I decided to steal this plastic witch head that had powdered candy in it. As I slid it into my pocket, the woman in line behind my mom said, “I think you need to put that back.” I turned to see my mother’s glare and she said through clenched teeth, “get in the car.” I put the candy back and ran to the car. Those eyes! I still have nightmares about those eyes. Her look made my blood run cold.

When she got in the car she didn’t speak until we got home and she said, “Go get my belt.” I knew which belt she meant. She wanted the Brenda belt. It had her name on it. Now I was in 6th or 7th grade and was at least the same size as this little southern woman but she whooped my butt good. It didn’t hurt too badly. What hurt was her crying afterward — that broke my heart. I never stole anything again.

Do kids nowadays have the same memories? I am sure every generation says the same thing about the younger generation but damn.

Dearest Cassie, My son Jake will be turning 9 in March and I have known since he was 2 that he would more than likely be gay. He has always loved girly things and I have been letting him explore that side over the past year by letting him wear dresses, heels, etc., in our home. How old were you when you figured out who you were? I want him to find himself and I want to make sure that I support the masculine as well as the feminine side of his personality. My feeling is that I have so many friends who have had horrible coming out stories and I want to raise my son where he never has to “come out” because he was never “in.” I want him to love himself because sexual orientation doesn’t make a person who they are. It’s their character that makes them who they are and I want him to be a confident, strong individual who isn’t scared to be himself. You are amazing at what you do and I can’t wait to come out and see another of your shows. Thank you, Janette.

Dear Janette,  First let me say you are amazing and your son is a very lucky kid. This is truly a different world than when I was kid. I have so much hope for your son being raised in a nurturing environment. My mother says that she knew I was gay when I was 4. I didn’t know I was gay until the hormones kicked in when I was 12. From then on, I think I started doing a mental disconnect from my family because I thought when they found out I was gay, I would be on my own. My coming out story had its rough patches and it took me and my family a while to get to a place of acceptance. And I didn’t make it easy for them either — first I was gay, then I was a drag queen. Oy vey! But now the family dynamic is good. They even love and accept my husband, probably even more than me. Knowing your son has you and your acceptance of him, whoever he wants to be, makes my heart smile. But being gay, lesbian or transgender (especially transgender) is not an easy road to go. Bullying and suicide is a real problem for the young of our community, so please watch out for that. Keep doing what you are doing and thank you from every gay person, ever! Cassie.

Hi Cassie, I’ve found recently that I could actually fall in love with different guys at the same time. My question is: have I got a problem or are we just surrounded by fairy tales/religious bollocks? Thanks, Philippe.

Dear Philippe, Is that your name or is that what you do? Just kidding. It sounds to me that you are polyamorous. Your problem has nothing to do with fairy tales or religion. Well, some of it is religion. Your problem mostly is finding like-minded individuals that share your way of thinking. Your biggest problem will be jealousy. Good luck with finding a serious relationship with more than one guy at the same time. It’s hard enough to find one good guy. I could never be with a dude whom is in love with other guys. Call me old fashioned. C’est la vie. Cassie.

Cassie’s Random Thoughts: If you remove the “E” from selfie and add “SH,” you get selfish. Fried turkey is da bomb! If you stick a glow stick up your butt, can you use your penis as a flashlight? I love the cold weather but miss seeing my warm-weather-loving geckos outside my house. Pollen is flower cum. Sometimes I wish I lived in the Shire. Whoever said “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels” never had a crème brulee.

Love more. Bitch less and be fabulous. XOXO, Cassie Nova.

If you have a question and want to suggest for Ask a Drag Queen — or just have some juicy gossip to share — email it to AskCassieNova@gmail.com.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition January 9, 2015.