Cassie speaks her dream to the universe

CassieHey, y’all! How the F is everybody doing? Someone recently told me that if you want something in life, you have to speak it into existence. Let’s say you want a boyfriend. You need to say out loud what you want so the universe can hear you and your wish has more of a chance to come true. I don’t believe that there is some magic Universe Genie, just sitting around listening for wishes, but what do I know? I do believe in positive thinking so I figured I’d give it a try.

We all play the “what if?” game where you say, “When I win the lottery, I’m gonna do this or buy that. I’m gonna quit my job and never work again.” I mean, I love my job, but if I ever win the lottery or the Genie hears my cries, I am ready.

About six or seven years ago, my hubby and I went on our first actual vacation to Portland, Maine. It was incredible — we had the best time. Being a huge Stephen King, fan I kind of felt I had to go to Maine since so many of his novels take place in and around there. Plus Portland is right on the ocean, surrounded by many small islands with the cutest houses on them. We took a ferry one day to explore, then took a sunset cruise out and around a few of the islands. We imagined how cool it must be to live on one of those islands.

So I speak it into existence: I, James Love (aka Cassie Nova), want to live on an island off the coast of Maine. So while I am dreaming, here is the complete fantasy.

Jamie and I come into a good chunk of money and decide to buy a medium-sized cottage on one of those little islands off Portland (or maybe Belfast), Maine — probably Portland because we still want to be able to take the ferry from the house to go to a movie and a nice restaurant on occasion. Portland has some amazing places to eat. Oh my god, they have a place called Duckfat that has churros fried in duck fat — amazing! They have such a variety of restaurants that it would take us a while before we ran out of places to try.

Our cottage is adorable, not too big or fancy, but very homey. I know it gets cold AF there, but I love the cold weather as long as I have a nice toasty warm home to go to, with plenty of firewood for the fireplace. One of our favorite things to do is sit around the house in our cute pajamas by a fire and watch TV surrounded by our pups. (Since we live in Texas and have not had much of a winter, we don’t get to do that very often. Anyhoo, back to my fantasy.)

During the summer, we fly friends in from Texas to visit. We have clambakes and eat lots of lobster in our backyard that faces the ocean. We drink lots of wine and watch the sunset as we get tipsy. We hug each other a lot and talk about how lucky we are. Our friends tell us about how the shows in the Rose Room, while still awesome, just aren’t the same without me and I am missed greatly. I promise to make plans for a month-long visit back to Texas, where I can do a couple of shows and visit family.

Jamie gets bored easily, so I am sure that in no time he will have built us a huge deck off the back porch — a great place to grill and drink more wine. We decide to take up sailing and buy a nice boat that we take out and go whale watching on warm afternoons. We never go out too far because I freak out from seeing too many shark movies, but I refuse to let my stupid fears ruin a beautiful day. So we sail around the many islands and wave at our neighbors.

Speaking of neighbors, it takes a while before they see us as more than just that gay couple from far away. Eventually, they will just see us as that gay couple that has too many dogs and drink a lot of wine. They are all in awe of how much work we have done on our property. Jamie has recently built a huge fire pit in the backyard with a broken rock path that leads down to the water where he has also built the cutest little dock for us to fish off of and drop a few lobster traps nearby. We have a little wooden boat that we can row out to check the lobster traps. They are almost always full. I have to learn to cook lobsters in as many ways as Bubba cooks shrimp in Forrest Gump.

We are on one of the only islands that has great Wi-Fi, so I am constantly posting pics of sunsets, sunrises, dogs with the ocean in the background, selfies of me in front of beautiful lighthouses and coastlines and the obligatory pic of my feet in front of a beautiful rocky seascape. It takes us a while to get used to living on an island. There are no cars allowed so we have a decked out ATV to get around on. It helps when we need to get groceries and supplies from the ferry to the house. Sometimes we just have everything delivered so we don’t have to fuss with all that. After all, we are Amazon Prime members.

Acadia National Park is not terribly far, so we love to go on nature walks and hikes. We eventually head up to Bangor so I can get a picture of me in front of Stephen King’s compound and swear one day we are just gonna run into each other. I will try not to fangirl out on him but I know I will. I will be respectful but also know I will probably annoy him. I will kiss his hand as we part like he is royalty and leave embarrassed. Then months later, while he is on Conan or Jimmy Kimmel promoting his latest book, he tells the story of one of his strangest fan encounters. He jokes about how this tongue-tied guy with perfect eyebrows kissed his hand and everybody laughs. I am just thrilled inside because he remembered me and though my eyebrows were perfect. Best day ever.

Being from Texas and never being around snow for more than 48 hours, I am surprised at how quickly I acclimate to the snow and cold. The first winter we are there we stay for the whole season, but the winters after the first one we come back to Texas to get some sun when we tire of the snow and cold. We are surprised at how quickly we miss our home and the cold in Maine so we head back when there is a break in the weather.

The dogs love it there too, but do not like to go outside when there is snow on the ground. But they quickly learn that the faster they get outside and do their business the faster they can get back inside by the fire. I spend the cold days reading or doing glass mosaic projects. I cook lots of soups and stews. I make chili every other week to remind me of Texas and to warm us up. I am surprised that I crave ice cream when it is cold. I buy an elliptical to work out on when we can’t go for walks. I tend to my seedlings in the sunroom so I can get a jumpstart on my gardening when spring comes. We eventually install solar panels and a windmill so we can generate our own power.

The older we get, the less we feel the need to leave our little island. We take vacations all over the world but part of my heart will always belong to Texas. Mostly it belongs to my slice of heaven in Maine. We grow old together on that island, content in a life well lived and happy.

So, I speak it into existence. Universe, you now know what I want so show me the way to make it happen. Even if it never happens in Maine, my home in Texas is by no means settling. I love the home and the life I have but it’s nice to dream.

Remember to love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova.

If you have a question of comment, email it to

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition February 03, 2017.