Is Big Brother watching?

Hello, my lovelies. Last night my husband and I went shoe shopping — he needed some work shoes and I needed some new tennis shoes. No big deal, just a casual evening of shopping and basically buying shit for ourselves that we didn’t get for Christmas. We went to DSW in Cedar Hill and bought two pair of shoes each and a Newsies-style hat that Jamie said I looked cute in, so I snatched it up.

While shopping, I almost bought a pair of men’s dress boots with a side zipper. They were adorable but a little pricey, and I all but refuse to buy anything that’s not on sale. I’m telling you, the only way I will ever pay full price is if I am so in love with it that I am willing to top it. So for full price… I liked them, I didn’t love them.

Today, I sat down at my computer to write my column and check my messages and Facebook … and I see the devil in action. One of the first ads on Facebook was for a pair of black leather men’s dress boots with a side zipper. On sale. What kind of “Big Brother is watching you” shit is this? Then, on the right side of the screen where they post mini-ads, what do I see? A fucking ad for a cute Newsies-style hat. Witchcraft, I tells ya!

I know that our phones listen to us, but I didn’t know these fuckers could see what you are looking at inside stores as well. I am not one of these people who usually cares about my privacy or that stuff, but today I am shook. (That did not stop me from buying those boots, though — they will be here next Friday.)

My point is, I appreciate the convenience but damn, Gina, we are getting closer to some Terminator/end-of-the-world shit. Skynet is gonna become self-aware soon, and we will all be f’ed in the A, and not in the good way. I think I am going to test my theory and just casually say out loud that I want a new Sit-N-Spin toy or some other random item just to see if it shows up on my feed… or will it know I am testing it? Or have I started a war just by asking these questions? Pray for me.

Anyhoo, I’m sure we have nothing to worry about, so let me help some folks in the little time we have left.

Dearest Cassie, I have been doing drag for about five years. I don’t perform that often, but I go out a lot in drag and — not to brag — I am sickening. I get told I am beautiful all the time. I love dressing up as a woman, and I love all of the attention I get. I have been seeing this guy that will only talk to me when I am dressed up. He refuses to call me anything but my girl name, and even when we talk on the phone, he refers to me as his woman or his lady. It sounds weird, but I love it.

I have started to question if I should change my gender. I feel like I can be more myself when I’m dressed as a girl. I’ve been thinking of getting breasts. I know my boyfriend would love it if I had real tits. He has even offered to help pay for them. I guess my question is: How do I know if this is what the right decision for me? If I decide to transition it will change so much for me. I’ve only ever dressed up to go out or to have guys come over. I’ve never gone to work or out shopping dressed up. I’m not sure what my next step should be. Thank you, K.J.

Hi, K.J. I have one question for you: Would you still want to be a woman if you were not pretty? It is really that simple. If your true energy is feminine, then you would not doubt your journey. Being your true self is not about looks, it is about who you are on the inside. Do you want breasts, or do you only want them because they would make drag easier? Do what is going to make you happy, but you need to know what that is. And if there is still a question mark when you ask yourself these questions… you know the answer.

When I first started doing drag I went through a similar situation. I loved the attention so much that I did drag all of the time. I even remember thinking of getting pumped (that’s when some non-medical professional, usually in someone’s living room, injects you with back alley silicone). I actually saved up to get my chest and cheekbones pumped. Thank the Lord I did not go through with it. I know of so many girls that have had it done, and it causes many health problems later in life. It really is poison to your body.

Dating someone who will only see you in drag is not really letting someone know you. He sounds like so many guys out there that start off by having sex with a drag queen so they can say they are still mostly straight. Whatever, dude. In a year or two he will probably be a full-fledged homo. That is his journey, though — don’t let him dictate yours. If he really likes you, he will want to know the real you, but that may be something you need to work out for yourself. Good luck!

Dear Cassie, My girlfriend and I are not your typical lesbian couple. We have been together over two years and do not live together, I am ready to marry her and move in together, but she keeps saying that she likes things the way they are. She has an 8-year-old son that I adore but hasn’t told her family that we are a couple. I’m frustrated. What should I do? Thanks, Lez B.

Dear Lez B (if that is your real name), Does she love you? Maybe she’s not in the same place as you when it comes to feelings. Having a kid changes the whole equation; you can’t fault her for wanting to protect her son. You need to find out if she is in the relationship 100 percent. Ask her for a timeline, but be understanding. Is she out at all with her family? Maybe she is not as comfortable as you are at being out. Pride doesn’t come easy for everybody.

If you love her, give her more time. Let her know you are all in and ready, but you will eventually need more from her. She will either come around, or you will know it is time to move on. Good luck!

Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova.

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