“One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever know …”
I’m sorry to report, but Ex-Gay Pride Month has been retroactively cancelled. I mean, obviously the month of July itself happened, but the ex-gay part, not so much.
That’s bad news for folks who were hoping to march on Washington with their thunderstorm flags (Get it? Because that’s the opposite of a rainbow flag). But it serves those folks right, since they didn’t even bother to show up.
But if you were to ask Christopher Doyle, president and co-founder of Voice of the Voiceless, an organization that calls itself “the only anti-defamation league for former homosexuals,” this whole ex-gay pride thing is working fabulously.
In an Aug. 2 to the VOTV website he writes, “July 31, 2013 was a great day for former homosexuals in America!”
What was so special about July 31? Well, that’s when approximately one dozen people stormed milled about in front of the Supreme Court building in D.C. to hold a press conference demanding equality and respect for ex-gays.
“While the turnout was humble, the enthusiasm among those who participated in Ex-Gay Pride was immeasurable,” writes Doyle, adding, “we have to start somewhere.”
Which is kind of weird, because if this whole “ex-gay” thing is really, well, a thing, then where are the thousands of people Doyle claims have thrown the homo monkey off their backs?
Why, in the closet, of course. Because the big gay meanies are bullying them.
That’s right. While gays are steadily coming out of the closet, ex-gays are apparently grabbing up the newly available real estate. Hey, it’s a buyer’s market, after all.
According to Doyle, numbers don’t matter. “[I]t only takes ONE ex-gay that has changed to put a wrench in the ‘born that way, cannot change’ strategy [gay activists] are using to deceive the public. The fact is, these activists cannot handle the existence of ONE person who says they have experienced change from same-sex attraction to opposite sex attraction,” Doyle writes. “So they need to mock, belittle, and downplay the significance of yesterday’s events. That is why there is so much anger. So much intimidation. So much disrespect. So much harassment.”
No disrespect, but surely he can’t be serious. Out of the thousands he claims exists, if he can find one real ex-gay then BAM! he wins? How convenient.
Look, there is no doubt that people who identify as ex-gay exist, but their existence does not negate the existence of LGBT people and the legitimacy of love between people of the same sex. Doyle’s insistence that because a handful of people claim to have cast off their same-sex desires then gay people are not, in fact, real, is akin to climate-change deniers denying global warming because a miniscule sub-set of scientists aren’t on board. The evidence to the contrary is overwhelming. You have to willfully ignore the majority of evidence to see the conclusion you want to see.
And so for Doyle, that means shouting from the rooftops that Ex-Gay Pride is a thing. You’d get a bigger crowd in D.C. if you did a march of Pastafarians (Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster members). And, as an added bonus, Pastafarians aren’t known for hating themselves.
But Doyle hasn’t given up. Instead, he’s declared that September will be Ex-Gay Awareness Month. Apparently before you can celebrate Ex-Gay Pride, you have to wake the sleeping ex-gay masses. It’ll be just like The Night of the Living Dead, only more depressing. Save the date!