Screen shot 2015-05-06 at 10.05.40 AMProcess servers in Nebraska will be working overtime serving every gay and lesbian. Plaintiff Sylvia Ann Driskell Ambassador for Plaintiff’s God, and His, Son, Jesus Christ filed the lawsuit. She listed as the defendant in her suit: “Homosexuals, Their Given Name Homosexuals, Their, Alis Gay.”

Not clear is if she is just suing Nebraskan homosexuals, U.S. homosexuals or all homosexuals around the world. I guess only American homos are being sued, since she bases her claim on a U.S. statute. Bisexuals are apparently safe, because they’re not named.

Listed as the nature of the suit is “Civil Rights: Other” and Cause of Action: “42:1983 Civil Rights Act.”

That section of the Civil Rights Act states:

Every person who, under color of any statute, ordinance, regulation, custom, or usage, of any State or Territory or the District of Columbia, subjects, or causes to be subjected, any citizen of the United States or other person within the jurisdiction thereof to the deprivation of any rights, privileges, or immunities secured by the Constitution and laws, shall be liable to the party injured in an action at law, suit in equity, or other proper proceeding for redress, except that in any action brought against a judicial officer for an act or omission taken in such officer’s judicial capacity, injunctive relief shall not be granted unless a declaratory decree was violated or declaratory relief was unavailable. For the purposes of this section, any Act of Congress applicable exclusively to the District of Columbia shall be considered to be a statute of the District of Columbia.

Apparently, the gays are depriving her of her rights. Also, isn’t it a little odd that she’s claiming homosexuality violates God’s law, but is suing under the Civil Rights Act. She should be suing under Leviticus.

In her suit she writes, “I, Sylvia Ann Driskell, Contend that homosexuality is a sin, and that they the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in a closet?”

Well, I don’t know about you, but personally, I haven’t been living in the closet. I’ve been on the radio every Sunday talking about being gay for 30 years. I’ve written for Dallas Voice for about the same amount of time. I contend, she’s the one who’s the straight person living in the closet and is only now coming out as, well, a moron.

Addicting Info has the full copy of the handwritten complaint.

While the court is not likely to respond with anything other than a quick dismissal, I’d like the court to ask her for the addresses of her defendants and to send her a bill. The average cost of process serving in the U.S. is $45-75. The estimated gay and lesbian population is 9,083,558. Even with a bulk discount low-balling the per service cost at $45, the bill would be $408,760,110.

Sometimes the best way to answer stupid is with more stupid.

Also, please note, all stupid isn’t from Texas.