I enjoyed going to Pride this year. I really did. I arrived early and met up with my son Christopher, whom I didn’t even know was coming to town, and we had a fun time catching up at the Instinct booth at the festival. I ate free ice cream and got free condoms (large size — what can I say?). I was groped (a little) and sweated (a lot) and had tons of free drinks at the ilume party.

And my car was broken into.

Sigh. Can’t have it all.

The good thing was, there was damage, but nothing missing. As far as I can tell. I think I had a pair of shoes in there, which I can’t find. I had some gym clothes (expensive) and coupons from last year’s State Fair, which opens Friday and they are still good! No cash. They did break into the locked burled wood console glove compartment and took an old cell phone case which, interestingly enough, does not fit my current cell phone (I keep gas receipts in it). Maybe they saw my paycheck stub and took mercy on me. I don’t know. But it could have been worse.

They did not break through a window or trash the car excessively. It took 10 minutes to clean up (and I needed to clean it up anyway). They weren’t the smartest thieves. They stayed out of the trunk, where I haul around gold bullion and Old Masters art. (Sorry, fellas! Betta luck next time!) My mom and others have said, “It’s so violating!” But it really doesn’t bother me all that much. After all, they left their finger prints EVERYWHERE and I assume they have criminal records and will be caught. They are criminals, after all.

But I don’t resent it, nor have I sworn off Cedar Springs. I fared OK. I’m moving forward. And next year, maybe I’ll valet.