Christie, left, and Susan Terry-Ball. (David Taffet/Dallas Voice)
Woman undergoing chemo and her wife are helping spread the word about American Cancer Society’s upcoming housing for cancer patients
DAVID TAFFET | Senior Staff Writer
taffet@dallasvoice.com
When Christie Terry-Ball wasn’t feeling well last summer, she decided it was time for her annual check-up. She was tired, she said, and occasionally feeling some pain. It was nothing to really worry about, she thought, but it was probably smart to get it checked out.
“Then, bam!” she said.
She went to Durant, Okla., to see her doctor, who did a sonogram and told her to come back the next week for results. But by the time she got back to her home in Hugo, Okla., the doctor had called to tell her to come back in the next day.
Not expecting the news to be good, Christie’s wife Susan took the day off to go back to Durant with her. They were right; it wasn’t good news.
“There’s no good way to tell you this,” the doctor said. “You have cancer.”
There might not have been a good way to break the news, Christie joked, but there may have been better ways.
The doctor in Durant gave Christie a choice: She could see a specialist at Medical City in Dallas, or she could see a specialist at Baylor in Dallas. After doing some online research, the couple decided to go with Baylor’s specialist.
Two weeks later, they were in Dallas, where Dr. Colin Koon at Texas Oncology-Baylor did a biopsy that confirmed Christie had uterine cancer that had metastasized. He found two cancers — one a stage 3 aggressive form and another the doctor considered less worrisome.
Christie had a complete hysterectomy at the end of October. Then she underwent monthly chemotherapy treatment for six months to kill the cancer that had moved to the lymph nodes and a lung. Finally, she endured five-and-a-half weeks of daily radiation to keep the cancer from coming back.
Friends become a couple
Susan and Christie had been best friends for years, and both were married to men and had children when Susan broached the subject of taking their relationship to a different level: “I like you,” Susan told Christie.
The first time the subject came up, Christie brushed it off, saying they had their children to consider. So when Susan’s youngest child turned 17 and was about to graduate from high school, she brought up the subject again, telling Christie, “I can’t stay in my marriage.”
By then, Christie was at a similar point in her life, and their friendship turned into more. Today, the two have been married to each other for more than two years.
Susan and Christie aren’t the only same-sex couple in Hugo, but they still keep their relationship as private as possible. That means making some choices about certain things — like where to go to church.
“We could have gone to church in Hugo,” Susan said. “But it wouldn’t have been a good idea.” Instead, they make the two-hour trip from Hugo to Dallas to attend services at Cathedral of Hope as often as they can.
Getting back to normal
After Christie’s hysterectomy last October, Susan went back to work as an admin at a drug and alcohol treatment center while Christie was still in the hospital in Dallas. Christie returned to her job as a Choctaw County Jail administrator as soon as she recovered from the surgery and between chemo treatments.
Christie said her employees were very supportive during her chemo treatments. “I gained 20 pounds taking chemo,” she said, because everyone at work was feeding her.
“Her employees texted me: ‘She just ate.’ ‘She just took her meds,’” Susan said.
Her doctor’s one restriction was that Christie shouldn’t go into the jail and have contact with inmates because of fear of infection.
Then came the radiation treatments — five days a week for five-and-a-half weeks. They’re in the middle of that treatment now. Because it wasn’t practical to travel back-and-forth to Hugo every day, the couple are staying at a long-term suite hotel in Dallas. In addition to the hotel bill, they have meal and transportation costs, which have included some car repairs.
It is a situation many people who have to travel for cancer treatment face. Now the American Cancer Society is working on a way to alleviate some of that stress — and some of the expenses.
Joy Donovan Brandon, director of communications for the American Cancer Society, South Region, said her organization broke ground earlier this month on Hope Lodge near Baylor on land donated by the hospital.
Hope Lodge will give cancer patients and their caregivers a home away from home while they are in Dallas receiving cancer treatment at any hospital in the area. To qualify to stay at Hope Lodge, the patient must live at least 40 miles from the facility.
The new building will have 50 private guest suites and will offer up to 18,000 free room-nights a year once it opens in 2021.
Around the country, there are already more than 30 Hope Lodges built by the American Cancer Society, including two in Texas: one already open in Lubbock and one under construction in Houston.
Susan and Christie said they feel isolated at times in the hotel where they’re staying. Hope Lodge will help others avoid that isolation. Brandon said there are a variety of activities offered for residents at Hope Lodge in Lubbock. Groups do crafts; someone comes in to entertain residents by playing piano; there’s a library, a dining room, a living room and a meditation garden.
But most importantly, Hope Lodge is a place where people sharing a common experience can get together. Caregivers support other caregivers, and patients help other patients get through their treatments.
Susan said she had already used up all of her paid sick time by the time they came to Dallas for the six weeks of radiation treatments. So, she’s taking off using unpaid Family Medical Leave Act — or FMLA — time. Christie has used her paid sick time and vacation time as well.
To help pay the hotel bill and other expenses, Christie’s daughter and Choctaw County jail employees have done bake sales and raffles and have solicited contributions from local businesses.
While Hope Lodge won’t be finished in time to benefit Susan and Christie, they’re among the project’s biggest supporters. Susan said that fortunately, Christie has good insurance that will cover the medical expenses. But lodging, food, transportation and car repairs have cost them thousands of dollars out of pocket and have caused untold stress at a time when the women should have been focused solely on Christie’s health.
The road to hope and health
Christie said Dr. Koon has been a blessing because of his kind bedside manner. She said she’s amazed at how much time he’s spent with her and how patient he’s been explaining procedures.
Both women have said the support they’ve gotten from their new friends at Cathedral of Hope and others in the community in Dallas has overwhelmed them and kept them positive.
At one point during her treatment, Christie told Susan she hadn’t seen her cry. Susan replied, “I love you very much. I can’t cry in front of you.”
Susan said she actually has done a lot of crying, but never as much as last week after a story about the groundbreaking for Hope Lodge and how it would have helped the couple that aired on WFAA Channel 8.
Susan said she needed a haircut so she went to Supercuts on Lemmon Avenue. Christie was tired from a radiation treatment and waited in the car.
After her haircut, when Susan tried to pay, her hair stylist refused to take her money: “I saw you on TV,” she told Susan, adding that all she wanted was to give Christie a big hug.
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If you are going out of town to receive cancer treatment and want to find out if there is a Hope Lodge near your hospital, or if you need help arranging an affordable hotel stay, call the American Cancer Society at 800-227-2345.
