Seriously, is it too much to ask of people to exercise a little common sense? Don’t try to park in lots that are completely iced over and sloped downward away from the roadway — such as this one between DV offices and Zippers. We promise, the dick-dancers will still be there after you find a parking spot in which you won’t get stuck. And no, I’m not going to come down and help push your car with my bare hands like these good samaritans. I’ll be taking photos from the warmth of my office so as to warn others against making the same mistake.

UPDATE: They managed to get the car un-stuck just as I was about to go down and help. Swear.