By Daniel A. Kusner – Life+Style Editor

Blue Blake says other porn stars are just too stupid to write an autobio

Blue Blake gets defensive when I tell him I expected more from his autobiography, "Out of the Blue: Confessions of an Unlikely Porn Star," (Running Press, $14.95). Over the past 27 years, Blake has starred in, written and directed countless all-male adult videos.

His finest on-screen appearance was in the 1997 documentary, "Shooting Porn," where Blake emerged as a witty British-raised muscleman who stole every scene with graphic tales about working in the sleaze trade. Like many other porn stars and escorts, Blake had a massive physique, but his storytelling charms were his best feature.

But you’d think by now, he wouldn’t be so sensitive to constructive criticism.

"What didn’t you like about my book?" he asks during a recent phone interview while he’s visiting the U.K.

Instead of focusing on the fun and debauchery — making piles of money while taking steroids, meeting celebrities and having affairs with muscle hunks who identified as straight — maybe Blake could have shed light on the other side: Why he’s so damn happy while so many of his gay peers succumb to suicidal tendencies and drug addiction and end up miserable — like Erik Rhodes, one of Falcon Studios’ current superstars and a frequent blogger. Even though Rhodes looks like he should be as fulfilled as Blue Blake, Rhodes’ powerful posts depict an empty train-wrecked life and profound shame over his chosen profession.

"I have no sympathy whatsoever for people who do porn and regret it later. After they sign the release, they whine and complain about getting ripped off. Please!" Blake says. "I don’t have any regrets. I believe you end up in life where you’re supposed to end up."

Blake stitches that sunny disposition into his memoir. Like Robin Hood, Blake (born Glenn Marsh) grew up in Nottingham, which he depicts as a dreary industrial city. When Glenn was born, his parents were so poor they didn’t have a proper toilet or even toilet paper (they used old newspapers). His parents divorced, and Glenn fell in love with "Saturday Night Fever," New Wave music and dancing. He attended a performance school and became a nightclub entertainer. That eventually led to nude stripping.

From there, he morphed into Blue Blake — an international Mr. Drummer contestant, COLT model, porn star, prostitute and legendary porn Hall of Fame inductee. Now he runs his own production company and hires some of erotica’s biggest bodybuilders.

His successful path is paved with hilarious memories and not many low points.

"I wanted it to be a funny, light read. I tell people they should read this while sunbathing and drinking Mojitos. What did you expect anyway?" he asks me.

I expected "The Great Poignant Gay Porn Star Bio," which has been frequently attempted — Joey Stefano, Michael Lucas, Aiden Shaw, John Vincent — but has never succeeded.

"That book will never be written. Porn stars aren’t capable of writing that book because majority of them are stupid. I did porn for the money. I had a college education. I was originally going to be an actor, but I followed my path, and I ended up in porn. These people who dreamt their whole life of being a porn star… Do you think they’re capable of sitting down and writing an autobiography?"

None of them are parlaying their physique, charisma and good looks into a scholarship fund?

"Like stripping and pole dancing pays for their college tuition? Baby, none of those people who say that are in college. That’s not how it works," Blake says.

Blake apparently knows how it works.

Because he’s spent 13 years in Los Angeles, he’s an ace at picking up massively built "straight" guys. If you’re not a built queen yourself, Blake says overly flattering a muscleman works wonders.

"Tell them they’re the biggest bodybuilder you’ve ever seen. The absolute biggest," he says. "Now, I have a very ample bosom, and I flash my chest a lot at them. That sounds weird, but it works. I have really big pecs, and if I go out and I meet them in gyms, they’re like, ‘Whoa, man! You have a really big chest.’ And then next thing, you’re working out with them, you become friendly with them, and Voila! You’re in bed with them."

Now if that doesn’t work, Blake says, "Offer to take them lunch, and then get them drunk on apple martinis."

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition October 31, 2008.

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